Several Thoughts....

Sweet Boy says (in that peculiar way he has... with heavy-long emphasis on the first B), "Daddy, why don't we have any Barbies??"

Daddy, "Uh, Boys don't play with barbies."

SB, "Yes they DO. I play with barbies at Daycarista's house. She have boy barbies and girl barbies. Paige likes the boy barbies and So. Do. I."

Daddy, "Boy barbies are called Action Figures."

Huh. Guess that makes it all ok.

_______


So I'm thinking about gender-roles... blah, blah, blah.

I was a bit uncomfortable when Darling Girl got a pink princess "my first book of words" book for Easter. I'm not particularly a Disney-hater (although I'd rather eat green glass than be caught dead in a theme park with an oversized rat) but I do understand the argument against "princess culture" or whatever you want to call it.

Here at the Homestead we try to be fair. But you have to remember it is Redneck-Fair. Boys can play dolls, dress up and tea party but you will probably hear the male contingent refer to it as "action figures, costumes and camping" so as to maintain the appropriate level of manliness.

Of course, the flip side is girls can play race cars, swords and cowboys but you will probably hear it referred to as "choking hazards, getting whacked with a wrapping paper tube and oh-shit-SB-is-sitting-on-his-sister-yelling-yee-haw-again."

I heard an interview with an 80-something pediatrician on NPR this morning (Yes, even Rednecks listen to NPR) and he said the most important thing you can teach your kids is resiliency.

So for this mother's day I'm going to set aside goals of perfection and reflections of guilt and just work towards teaching myself and my kids to be resilient.

Naked in the Light.

I confess. I have 5 pairs of khaki capris.

In light of the fact that putting a closet under the stairs in our "new" tiny bedroom will cost, oh, about $3000 dollars.... well, I've decided the best idea is to get rid of all my clothes.

So I started through my closets.

Now, let me set the stage.

I have 2 closets. One has a 54" rod and one has a 36" rod. Both are tucked under the eaves so they are very short. I know... any of you living in an old house are already jealous.... because I actually HAVE a closet.... well, soon, no more.

I also have a dresser with 2 large drawers (one for socks and unmentionables and one for jammies and workout clothes). I have a small plastic tub for winter gear, a plastic drawer for swimwear and various other unmentionables and a stack of about 8 sweatshirts.

All this has to fit into.... nothing. No closet.

Ok, well, the 36" rod closet has 60 white plastic hangers containing knit shirts.... t-shirts, long sleeved t's, sleeveless.... surely some of those can go, right? And pants... I've weeded out a lot of my black pants... well, actually, all but one pair. So that's a start. I have 3 pairs of wear-to-work jeans.... but one pair is pretty ratty so they can be retired. I have 4 pairs of weekend jeans.... surely one of those can go. I trashed all of my old workout t-shirts..... I don't work out anymore so why bother? I can get rid of a lot of shorts if I can find 1-2 pairs of decent ones to replace them. I should get rid of some jammies... I have more jammies than anything... pretty funny for someone who prefers to sleep in the buff, eh?

Ok, people, how many and what types of clothing do you have? What do you really need? And what do you really wear??

Best baby gift idea I've seen in a while.....

Overheard at The Homestead:

Our neighbor is mowing his lawn.
Yeah?
His mower is bigger than yours.
Compensating.

I don't really love oak cabinets.

I have a tiny addiction to apartmenttherapy.com and their nursery site.

Why? I don't have an apartment. My decorating style is trying-to-avoid-clutter-and-failing or trying-to-pick-a-paint-color-and-failing.

We have a little-little interior remodel going on that will leave us with a small living room and a 10x12 bedroom with no closet.... seems ideal, no?

So I was thinking as long as we are going to truly do this to add a bedroom I might as well get serious (finally.... it HAS been 3 years) about painting. I love to paint. I hate picking the color.

And if I'm painting I really should re-think the accessories in the room to get that more modern and serene look I'm going for..... Modern Primitive. That's my style.

And I want bookshelves. Because most of our books are in big rubbermaid tubs in the feed-shed turned storage-shed/closet.

But anyway.

I snapped a photo of my kitchen and realized I have the perfect accessory. It's one-of-a-kind and fits my decorating style perfectly.

In case you can't tell:

This photo was taken on "the day from hell" actually. 72 hours of almost constant body contact with me, her favorite teething object. Seriously. The only time I could put her down was in the water in the kitchen sink (see my baking). Otherwise:

Because what would the weekend be without movies?

Night at the Museum. I will admit I don't usually like Ben Stiller. Sorry, I don't. But this movie was pretty cute and Sweet Boy absolutely loved it. And I'm all about movies we can watch as a family. And I don't care what you say.... my son is brilliant. At one point he looked at me and said, "Mom, does that dinosaur think he's a DOG???" Oh, we've been having fun with that the last few days... pretending we are dinosaur-dogs and dinosaur-cats and dinosaur-frogs... because, really, what is more fun than hopping around and roaring??

Deja vu. Denzel. Need I say more??

Earnest Mommy Strikes Again....

I need to have an earnest mommy moment here.

The last time I had a real blow-out one over potty seats.... the kid promptly quit needing the Dora seat and, last I checked, was perfectly capable of using the toilet without a step stool or cartoon character throne.

My, er, production is down.

Background: With Sweet Boy I pumped 3 times a day at work and if I didn't get 12-15 ounces a day I was a freakin' wreck. With Darling Girl I pump twice a day on work days and hope for about 10-12 ounces a day. If I need to "catch up" I will toss in an extra 3-4 ounce session on the weekends. She eats more solids and just doesn't need as much milk at daycare it seems.

But my Bessie-sessions lately have been yielding about 6 ounces a DAY and, while I have lots of frozen stock pile, I am starting to worry. She's 9.5 months so I guess she could wean but I'd rather not.... she is already slimming down with all the crawling she does... once she is walking she will need all the extra calories she can get.... my little turbo-girl.

I changed the valves on the pump.... always the first thing you should do... it's like checking to make sure the computer is plugged in before calling customer service.

I added at least 16 additional ounces of water to my day. I already drink a ton of water naturally and breast feeding makes me drink a ton more.... seriously, when I came back to work our water guy even commented on it.... we use 2 additional 5 gallon bottles when I'm around....

Then I started drinking a cup of mother's milk tea every afternoon. Two days into that and, maybe it is psychosomatic, but things are picking up.... it tastes like what I imagine licking the cat's ass would taste like but whatever.... I'll make any sacrafice for motherhood and blah, blah, blah..... Besides... you can make anything taste better if you put in enough milk & sugar.....

I haven't gotten so bad that I'm taking Fenugreek yet (although I tried that with Sweet Boy) but I am considering it. Again with the.... maybe it is psychosomatic.... and I do believe it makes your sweat smell like maple.... but, hey, I don't mind smelling like the back booth at IHOP if it means (insert noble sacrifice everything mama tone here) my child can be on the boob a few more months (read: I'm too cheap to buy formula).

So take a note Sarah (oh and did you see the colace, perineal massage & witch hazel comments in the last post?? I recommend them all... even though I don't like the smell of witch hazel) here are the things to stash in your mommy arsenal should you find yourself needing them: Mother's Milk Tea (Traditional Medicinals I think? They also make "Smooth Move" if you find the colace isn't doing it for you....) and Fenugreek capsules. There is a 'scription medicine that has an off-label use as a production booster but I can't remember what it is....

Gosh... with my teas & herbals and my holistic Hyland's teething tablets and my last post about not using toilet cleaner.... ya'll will be thinking I'm all green and tree-huggery and stuff.... I better go spray something with Round Up or bleach or something..... and hide my Birkenstocks.....

There should be a 12-step program, I swear.

It really is a sickness. The budget. It's like I have obsessive-compulsive binge-n-purge budgeting habits.

I was so proud I only spent $50 at the bull's-eye store last month... and then, this weekend, we dropped $100 there**.... and then.... we went to Shopko and spent TWENTY DOLLARS on a pair of sandals for Sweet Boy. TWENTY DOLLAR SANDALS. (Any applications I had in to be in those cool mommy gangs were just REJECTED.)

I make shopping lists and then decide -mid-store- that "We don't really need that." Right. We don't really need pit stick... let's just go all free and natural and jungle and native.... skip the razor blades & shaving gel too. We can brush with baking soda... it's good enough for Grandpa so it is good enough for us.... heck, we're rednecks let's just skip the toothbrushes too.

Hello. My name is Homestead and I have walked out of stores without half the things on my list because I can't stand to spend the money.

Wait. I must pause mid-rant to say this.... We don't use toilet bowl cleaner. It is bad for the dog and it is bad for the kids. The kids who clean the toilet. What? Your 2-year-old doesn't clean your toilet? Then you, my friend, are doing something wrong. Toss in a little vinegar & baking soda, call it a science project and let the little fiends scrub away. Seriously. They are so fascinated by the toilet they want to play in it all the time? Let them. I say... why fight nature?

I wake up late at night worrying about budgets. (Nah, that's not true.... I wake up late at night with strange cravings for powdered-sugar donuts.... but rarely do I wake up obsessed about how much they would cost..... it just sounds so nice and dramatic.....)

And the returns. This makes my husband crazy. Please tell me other seemingly sane people do this?!?! Buy things. Take them home. Decide you can't afford them or can't stand the clutter. Return them.

My life took a big turn for the better in October when I swore off Target clearance end-caps (unless I really, really need it) and gave in to my list-making ways and just kept a running list of "things we need should you see them on a great sale" and wrote down the amounts we will spend on various holidays (Hot Stuff is the master of the last-minute $100 Father's Day gift.... No. No. No. Not in this budget) and birthdays and then let myself thrill in the hunt.

Yes... the hunt. I love the bargain and I love finding it. (Thank you Grandma, bless your soul.) I've just managed to trick my brain into thinking getting the slipcover (I've been shopping for 3 years now...) I love (Pottery Barn) cheap on Ebay somehow makes me superior to all those fools who pay retail. I also like to look down my nose and feel superior about reduced clutter and how much more earth-friendly it is to not buy things. Oh, hell, I just like to feel superior....

Hot Stuff got me a power ball ticket (a week early) for Mother's Day and if I win that 68 million.... THEN what's gonna happen??

**I did, however, buy TWO booster carseats, stuff for our trip the end of May (window roller shades, travel aquadoodle, travel pillows) and my ONLY impulse buy was a $1.14 batman toothbrush.

Book-O-Rama

So Mary P. hosted a book love-in for the month of April. In case you were interested in what we’re reading here at the Homestead…. I thought I’d just quickly type up my list. It isn’t long. And. I. Can’t. Remember. What. I. Read. This. Month. At all.

So, um, here’s the short version….

To the Nine’s –Janet Evanovich
The 9th (imagine that) in a series about Stefanie Plum…. So easy to read.

Full Tilt –Janet Evanovich
Another one by Janet. Really, I just read this one because I knew it would be quick and it would boost my book-count. Hee-hee.

The Fiery Cross –Diana Gabaldon
I finally finished it. I’ve been working my way slowly through this one for a long time. I like her “Scottish Sci Fi” books but I have to take them slowly over time or I get bored. And I’m still boggled by how you spell fiery.

Lord John & the Private Matter –Diana Gabaldon
I didn’t finish this one. I like this character in the other books but this book just didn’t do it for me.

Something by Sandra Brown. You know. Something.

How to Organize Just About Everything (again… the title??) by some guy who is on a popular tv show we don’t get. But I liked the book…. More of a reference book for most but I read it cover-to-cover.

Some cheesy Louis L’amour paperback I read while at my parent’s house.

The tooth section of The Portable Pediatrician AND What to Expect During the First Year. Seriously. Because isn’t it odd my daughter’s top SIDE teeth came in before the front ones??

The Weekend In Movies

Smokin' Aces: Brutally violent and hilarious. How's that? Loved this but I realize it might not be for everyone.

Stranger Than Fiction: Lovely little flick. Cute. Easy to understand. Will Ferrell playing an IRS auditor... which is.... interesting.

On the Agenda for the Weekend

Well.... looks like Montana might be having a legislative special session again.... $36,000/day. Wow.

So to, ahem, celebrate.... we are going to have a party. You're invited. The theme?

Engine Turtles & Tequila.

Sweet Boy is going to invite the Engine (Ninja) Turtles because we are having pizza and he tells me they like pizza..... he knows this because his Engine Turtle undies also have pizza slices on them.... go figure. I made pizza dough last night so it will probably be little mini pizzas and do-it-yourself toppings..... and margaritas in a bucket or milk in a sippy cup.... your choice.

Come on over.

Later this weekend we will watch Qubo.... Sweet Boy's term for Saturday morning cartoons.... regardless if they are NBC's qubo ones or not. He likes Scooby Doo and Batman... good thing they are on one of the two tv channels we get. Yes, we believe in the old-fashioned "Saturday Morning Cartoons" thing.... no cartoon network 24/7 animation at our house.... no sir. We are PURISTS. Saturday mornings mean cartoons and breakfast on a tray in front of the tv.... waffles, fried-egg and bacon sandwiches or cheerios. Yes. We are traditionalists.

Then maybe we will go to the swimmy pool for a while. That always makes for good naps. The nicer weather might make for a good weekend to play in the barn or maybe start doing some timbers for the flower beds. Ideally, I will make it through the whole weekend without going to town a single time.... perfection.

Yes.... a leisurely weekend at the homestead. I can't wait.

Play Time At the Homestead

Sweet Boy’s newest thing is to play “Diego Animal Rescue” with me. Now, granted, without cable/satellite tv we could have prevented his exposure to the world of Dora but -knowing the only cultural things he will get from my side of the family include insanity & a really bad rez accent- we figure Dora is about the only chance the boy has of cultural exposure…. Especially now that Imus is off the air.

So we play animal rescue and, “Mama, you be’s the shark and I will rescue you” and we play and play, stopping only to sing along loudly when a song we like comes on the radio. (I take it back… cultural exposure includes singing along with Tim McGraw…. Loudly, in a gawdawful Southern accent.)

And while we are playing I sing, “Dora, Dora, Dora the Librarian” because that’s what Elle sings when she plays Dora and, like so many things Elle says, it sorta rolled around the edges of my brain until it became firmly lodged front and center… probably right in front of the part of my brain that knows where I hid that last bottle of really good tequila.

Except you kinda have to sing it (bright and pippy) like this, “Dor-la, Dor-la, Dor-la, the li-BRARE-ian” and I wish I could read music so I could write music so you could get the catchy, catchy tune and then it would be permanently etched on your brain too…. Like that time you accidentally saw your middle school math/pe teacher wearing nothing but a jock strap and knee-high socks with red bands around the calves…. Sorry, but I will never look at red bands the same way again.

And it goes along fine until Sweet Boy runs out of animals he knows (this takes a long, long time….) and he starts making up animals…. “Mama, you be’s a gur-lunga-lunga and I will rescue you.”

Um. Just what sound does a gur-lunga-lunga make and do they enjoy tequila??

It's not fun... It's an Obsession.

I may or may not be completely budget obsessed right now because I may or may not have had an UNBELIEVABLE cell phone bill last month. Oops. I promise to try to do better and love as I should. Amen.

I was going through the credit card bill last night. Here is my version of fiscal responsibility...

Me, standing at the (cleared-off-completely-every-night-for-2-weeks-and-it-might-be-making-me-crazy-because-I-can-see-how-insanely-pepto-colored-it-is) kitchen counter eating chocolate chips out of a jar and reading off the various things we've spent money on this month.

*** I need to clarify something here.... most money-management gurus will tell you to cut up the cards to get a handle on your finances..... The Homestead (please-Lord-tell-me-I-dress-better-than-Suze-Orme) school of fiscal responsibility says to have one bonus-earning card and put EVERYTHING on it... then pay it off fully EVERY MONTH. Otherwise you have to try to remember what you spent cash on and run around looking for receipts under the seat of your car and in the lint-trap in the dryer and, well, that just isn't conducive to uninterupted chocolate chip eating.

Hot Stuff is drinking caffeine-free diet pepsi (can I get an "Ick" here??) and complaining I know every dollar he spends and he has no idea what I buy.... like the $8 he spends every day for lunch at Bob's Valley Market. I remind him I take my lunch to work and he doesn't want to know how much I spend at Costco keeping him stocked with caffeine-free diet Ick and ham.

This month I spent $54.89 at Target... a record low. A little bit of Easter clearance & a few important things like baby gifts, dish soap and m&m's. I made up for it by spending $319.99 at Costco.... which totally freaked me out until I remembered about $100 of that was stuff I got for my mom with coupons and she gave me cash for it and I stocked up on diapers & wipes & dog food to donate to the Humane Society. Whew. $127.19 at the local grocery store. Two trips to McDonald's and one night of Jade Garden take out. We were pretty frugal this month.... I was trying to skim the last little bit of money needed to do our IRA's out of the family budget. Of course, there are a bunch of charges for food & drink when Hot Stuff was out of town for training and the state only reimburses at $23/day so we ate it on those expenses and he spends way too much on sunflower seeds, diet pop & eating lunch out but he tries..... and next month I'm going to have to justify the $80 I spent on couch and chair slipcovers ($80 shipped... Pottery Barn.... totally worth it) and $12 (You pay $10 and get a $12 card) for coffee drinks (Buy 6 and the 7th is free) not because I need it but because I want it. And we had $35 this month in movie rentals... but that just provides fuel for my "Let's get NetFlix" plan. Although I did discover the library has the entire "Gilmore Girls" series on dvd so that could keep me occupied for a good chunk of re-run season.

I also finally got it together and switched Qwest & Northwestern Energy to checkfree so I can say "screw you and your 41 cent stamps too" to the post office... at least until I mail Christmas cards. And I've started paying all doctor's bills by phone with the credit card because, well, I might as well get some reward points for that ear infection, right?

Does anyone know of a fabulous FREE rewards credit card? Currently we have an American Express Delta card that costs $55/year (which is just stupid) and I'm switching to the free Costco American Express points card but is there a better deal out there??

So that's the boring budget report for last month....

Blazes....

We went to the farm this weekend and, driving home on Sunday, we came upon a road block. Yes.... a closed road. With a cop. In North-Central Montana.

The deputy at the road block was pretty closed-mouthed about what was going on but he did mention he'd been called in at 7:30 that morning because officers had been on duty all night. And we'd already heard some gossip from a neighbor about a high speed chase.

The news is slowly coming out about a 13-year-old boy from Havre, a stolen car, a gas drive-off, high-speed chase, shots fired....

I'm going to go out on a limb here and call this another victim of the Virginia Tech shootings. Anybody with me on this thought process? According to the local gossip, the kid had some "issues with authority" and was "one to avoid." I can just hear the theme music, "Going Down in a Blaze of Glory" playing in his head as he was flying across those highway miles thinking about all the attention the Virginia Tech guy got.... maybe I'm wrong but.....

I pray for this kid. And the police officers. And all the other kids and families in these tiny communities. Just like I continue to pray for the families of the 33 who died in Virginia. Yes, I said 33. I pray for the shooter and his family just like any others. I think the bible part is "Love the sinner, not the sin." The reality part is..... both of these young men were somebody's little boys. I look at my own little ones, hug them tight and think, "What if...." What if something goes wrong in their brains? They ARE inheriting mental illness from both sides of the family..... Will I be strong enough and brave enough to see it and, more importantly, do something about it?

I'm easy.

I'm very happy right now.

I got a new free travel wipes case in the giant box of Huggies wipes I got at Costco. A new travel case. I think I'll put it in Hot Stuff's car... no, wait, the other diaper bag..... Oh, I'm just not sure.... Yes, people, my life has come to this... glee over butt-wipe.

The Great Pickle Escape

This post is dedicated to Pickle.... may the escape be quick.

Remember that moment in baby school....the moment you realized the plastic thing with holes in it wasn't a spaghetti measurer with a jumbo measurement to feed a whole football team.... the moment you realized..... OH MY GOD.... THAT'S THE DILATION CHART. And then you suck it up and go ahead and have the baby anyway because, well, too late now... you're already knocked up....

Ok, this post is straight-up coochie recovery advice. For those moments AFTER the sweet bambino is home and the phone rings and you realize there is NO WAY you can jump off the couch to answer it. Here are things I've heard or done... in no particular order:

1. The frozen maxi pad. Spritz maxi with water, freeze, and, "aaahhh." My doc says this was his job when his son was born. Order pizza, be quiet, and make sure there was a supply of frozen mouse mattresses in the freezer.
2. Sit on your boppy. That sort of sounds like a curse doesn't it.... "No, you sit on MY boppy...."
3. That spray. The numbing stuff with the red lid (or maybe the lid is blue). Lidocain. In the first aide section. And it's great later for boo-boos.
4. The peri bottle. Don't leave that bad boy at the hospital... it makes a great tub toy later on too.
5. Plain old over-the-counter pain relievers.

Ok... that's all I can remember... anybody else?

Drugs or No Drugs

Just reading on Blogging Baby... er, Parent Dish..... about natural birth vs, well, unnatural I guess..... Ok, ok... medicated vs non-medicated.

Again.... I bang my drum and shout, "Everyone is different and even each child is different."

My first labor:

Woke up at 1:30 am. Hospital around 4:30 am. IV & interthecal around 6:40. No time for epidural. Baby at 6:58 am. (Shift change is at 7:00.... I don't recommend this.)

Interthecal meds (morphine? What the hell is in that?) made me Sick with a capital S-Ick. Headache and passing out whenever I tried to stand up..... literally.... for about 18 hours.


My second labor:

Woke up at 4:30 am. Hospital around 7:30 am. No time for an IV. Baby at 8:03 am. (Nice fresh nurses from 7:00 am shift change... excellent.) I still have the half filled out epidural consent form that Hot Stuff was working on when things got serious.


We already know the hospital is remodeling and the new maternity area is on the 4th floor.... which means Baby #3 (if there is one) will be born in the elevator. I just hope the nurses take me seriously when I tell them I'm, um, kinda fast in the labor department.... it must be the laughing and joke-cracking that throws them off..... with #2 they told me I had plenty of time and they put me in the "rule-out" room.... hah!

Now.... what was best for ME? Obviously.... labor #2 when I was up and showered by 9:15 am.... much better than passing out between the toilet and the tub like #1.

But what is best for YOU?? It's like Jimmy Buffett says.... "Only Time Will Tell...."

Houston, we have teeth.....

Thank the sweet little baby Jeebus for Hyland’s Teething Tablets. After three days and three long, long nights I remembered Hyland’s…. and it hit my like a can of V-8…. I had a bottle leftover from Sweet Boy’s youth….. in the daycare bag! Horray. I have no idea what is in those things but they work better than a shot of tequila and a warm bath….which I’d tried already anyway.

Truly. I know I talk a lot about how different kids are…. But I don’t remember Sweet Boy ever having this kind of trouble with teeth….. we’ve got it all…. Loosey-goosey poop, fever-then-gone, red cheeks, drool, chewing, clingy, gnawing, whimpering, crying, listless (so listless) and crabby (OH the Crabby)…. And it has been going on for days. I kept her home from daycare on Monday… mostly because I like our daycarista too much to subject her to Her Royal Crabbiness.

And the girl wanted her mama. For about 72 hours I was in constant contact with her…. She sat on my lap while I peed. She showered with me. She held my hand while she was in the car seat. She slept on my chest. I love a girl but by Monday morning I needed a little space.

So.

I put her in the kitchen sink. Tossed in a few toys and kept the water warm. Happy baby. She splashed enough to soak the window & the floor (we call that “cleaning windows” and “mopping” at the Homestead) and we all managed to survive the day with a minimum of tequila.

And now. Now. NOW.

She has TWO New Teeth…. NOT the top center teeth… but on the outside…. Combine this with her love of hanging her head off my knees so she can look at the world upside-down and it becomes obvious we’ve been calling her Vampire Bat for three days now. Or Fang. Or Redneck Jack-o-lantern. Or Backwards Beaver. Poor Pumpkin. I have to remember to write this in her baby book……

Super Hero.

Overheard at our house…. “I’m Spiderman and Baby Sister is my pet Chubby Spider.”

Going to the Chapel....

At dinner last night Sweet Boy announced, “Jack & I are married.” Hot Stuff looked at me over SB’s head and mouthed, “I’m not sure I like where this is going….”

Jack is Sweet Boy’s imaginary friend. Mostly, Jack is a big boy who fights fires and knows how to fly…. Very similar to Sweet Boy except the “big” part…. So I, being the open-minded mama I am, asked, “Are you married to Jack?” and Sweet Boy responded, “Oh, no, mama… I’m married to (insert unintelligible noise that sounds like Gluhg-gluhoo). She’s my husband.” Can you tell we’ve been having many fascinating dinner conversations about relationships at our house?

So then I, preparing for that teenage time when I need to grill my children about where they go and who they are with, ask, “Who did Jack marry?” “Oh,” says SB, “Jack isn’t really married.” “So he’s single and not married… like Uncle Techno?” (Sorry, Brother, couldn’t think of a better pseudonym for you… Pyro? Psycho? Turbo? Dude?)

“Oh no,” says SB, “Uncle Techno is married.”

Really.

“…. To Auntie Wissa.”

Brother, you are so dead in the water on this one… she’s already ahead of you on the “bless us” list (although you are both behind Smokey… dad’s dog) and Sister & I will keep her and dump you if you break up….. You might as well get her a ring…..

Imus

I admit. I'd never really heard of Imus until last week.... but now I gotta ask....

Does anyone else think he looks like an old lesbian??***

***Homestead ducks... but figures it is worth saying because when she mentioned it while talking with an old lesbian the old lesbian laughed.....

Another weekend, Another movie

Anybody seen "The Good Shepherd".... and, if you have, can you please explain it to me?

It's not that I was falling asleep (teething baby).
It's not that I was drinking BV&7up (teething baby).
It's not that the movie was almost 3 HOURS long and I wasn't able to settle down to watch it (teething baby).

I feel like I missed something really obvious while watching it. But there was no "ah-hah" moment for me. I never did get it. After several crucial-seeming scenes I'd look at Hot Stuff and say, "huh?" and he'd just pour me another drink or reach over and pat the baby sleeping on my chest.

So, anybody have a quick Cliff-notes style review of the movie for me???

Not in the running for 2007 either....

Yes, that is a huckleberry stem on her face from the fresh-made huckleberry ice cream my sister was feeding her. There goes mother-of-the-year AGAIN.

Regrets

One of my biggest parenting regrets? No, it isn't the 3-diapers-in-24-hours rule or the insane amount of effort we've put into a simple swingset project..... I don't have pictures of me with my kids. I told Hot Stuff and he, being the go-to-it guy he is, responded:

** Thanks to Gunnar for blocking the privates in that middle photo so I didn't have to blur them out.

Maybe just a little Don King in the bloodline......

3 More Movie Reviews

1. Blood Diamond. Loved it. Although I've heard if you know what a real South African accent sounds like this one will make you cringe.

2. The Pursuit of Happyness. Jada Pinkett Smith is a lucky woman. Will Smith just might be on the short list of my favorite male celebrities.

3. Happy Feet. Ok, I didn't exactly sit and watch this one but what I saw was pretty cute.

For some reason opening a Dove promises chocolate with the message "Watch the sun rise" just isn't all that inspirational when you have a kid that doesn't sleep between 4-5:30am........

Other Daycare Things....

Let's talk about crazy things we've seen while looking for daycare.....

Daycarista told me the story of another in-home care place with 14 kids and a house about the size of Daycarista's upstairs.... about 900 sq feet. The other daycare said they were licensed. Ya think?

My friend, K, told me about going to a daycare (with an appointment so they had time to tidy up if they wanted...) and sitting on the couch to interview. The place was knee-deep in toys (I'm sorry but if there are too many toys they just can't all be clean) and when she left she realized she'd been sitting in something very wet..... ew. (Aside for those who know... the daycare, oddly enough, was run by our former FIRST GRADE teacher... uh-huh. Crazy is as crazy does...)

I don't know much about daycare. I went with the recommendation of a good friend with three little girls, visited, fell in love and then begged for a spot. Initially we were turned down because she had another little one coming back in January (this was August) and wouldn't be able to handle that many little ones at one time. So I asked for coverage until January. Hot Stuff's job that year only had him working 10 months so he had January & February off and stayed at home. My plot worked, daycarista fell in love with Sweet Boy and just couldn't let him go. Ha-ha. I found out later she actually restructured some of her part-timers to 3 days a week rather than 5 half-days a week so she could bring in extra help on those three days and accommodate everyone.

I like all the other kids.... although there is only one other (part-time kindergarten) boy. But I like to think that will bring out Sweet Boy's feminine side. I've already learned "boy polish" is clear with blue sparkles.

Her rates are reasonable. Daycare for two kids (one potty-trained, one under 2) just went up $4 to $36/day.... which is cheaper than the state-subsidized care here in town. She feeds them breakfast, lunch & snack. She teaches them colors & letters. They read a lot and do puzzles and draw. They have cats, a dog, bunnies, mules, horses & chickens. The yard is giant and beautifully kept with a swing set and lots of nice play toys. They have a schedule and rules and know what to expect. They always come home smelling like sunscreen in the summer. They only seem to watch tv during the morning while they are waiting for all the kids to get there or for special occasions. The playroom is clean, clean, clean and Sweet Boy came home singing the clean up song and picking up his toys.

Daycarista really has managed to have a home that allows thinking adults to co-exist with a whole lotta little kids. There are lots of books and toys but things have a place and they get put away before the next set of toys come out.

ONE CRUE GIRL.....

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU????

Your blog link hasn't worked in, oh, a long time..... but I saw your comment the other day......

Why, yes, my eyes really are brown....

BECAUSE I'M TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT!!!

Even though the daycarista said I didn't need to do it..... overachiever that I am.... I wrote an eating plan for my daughter.... Read it and laugh..... It really runs out of me sometimes...

EATING PLAN
APRIL 2007

Milk
CHILD is breast fed at this time. Mother will provide breast milk (fresh and/or frozen). Milk to be given to the child via bottle or sippy cup at the discretion of the provider. CHILD has not been introduced to cow milk. Formula may be provided to CHILD at the discretion of the provider but the parents are trying to avoid this if possible.

Solids
CHILD eats most table foods at this point either ground, mashed or chopped as needed. She can be supplemented with jar/tub baby food as needed to meet her daily intake requirements at the discretion of the provider. CHILD is a good eater and will generally eat whatever is provided for her. There are no specific dietary restrictions or requirements for CHILD. She enjoys eating table foods and likes to eat what she sees everyone else eating. Things to avoid are the usual allergy & choking hazards for a child her age as discussed between the provider and parents. There is no family history of food allergy and no special allergy precautions are necessary. She has been introduced to wheat, egg yolks (but not whites), cottage cheese, yogurt & cheese. She has not been formally introduced to meat products as of the writing of this plan (although she has had some occasionally) but there are no set limitations regarding this and, most likely, she will be eating meat regularly in the next few weeks, prepared (chopped, shredded or ground) as needed. She has been introduced to most fruits and vegetables and this list is communicated verbally between the provider and the parents as it expands and changes.

Juice/water
CHILD drinks juice (watered-down) and water from a sippy cup and may be provided liquids at the discretion of the provider.

Frequency
Mother will nurse CHILD as close to am drop off time as possible. Occasionally mother will stop by to nurse during the day but this will be communicated to the provider ahead of time so her regular bottle/cup feeding schedule is not disrupted. CHILD may be fed bottle/cup and/or solids throughout the day at the discretion of the provider with solid feedings following the general eating plan of the daycare as a whole (breakfast, lunch, snack). CHILD may or may not want solids for breakfast (due to nursing prior to drop off) and breakfast can be provided at the discretion of the provider. Any variations from this general plan will be discussed verbally by the provider and parents.

Baby Likes Food

So I got my daycarista in "trouble" this week.

She's state-licensed which means the state inspectors visit her. This week the inspector informed her she needs a written eating plan for the 8+-month-old (that's my daughter). Pretty tough to do since she's breast-fed and, last I checked, my tits don't have an ounce-gauge printed on the side. She also, ahem, doesn't eat baby food.

WHAT??? NO BABY FOOD?

Well, I supplement her with purchased baby food at home if, say, the meal I've prepared (and I use those terms "meal" and "prepared" so loosely....) is missing something or is something she can't eat. Like the lunch we had fried egg and bacon sandwiches... she had toast and baby food from a plastic tub.... because, much as I love her, she doesn't get fried eggs or meat.... yet.

But the girl prefers to feed herself and she prefers to eat what everyone else is eating.... and who am I, parenting the path of least resistance, to say no?? Besides... it makes us eat better. She only has two teeth so the babyfood grinder gets a workout and she likes to "feed herself" so sometimes it is messy. (I can't wait for spring so I can take the high chair outside and just hose it off....) But, really, we mostly eat things she can have.... tortillas, noodles, sweet potatoes, corn, apples, cooked carrots, cottage cheese, yogurt, smooshed peas, grilled cheese, graham crackers. So far I haven't found anything (including green peppers) that she won't eat.... I don't eat bananas but she loves them mushed up. I haven't figured out how to give her "salad" type stuff yet but she loves ground up steamed spinach.

So different from her picky "I-won't-eat-a-bean" brother.

I will write a "letter" to put in the diaper bag noting her general eating habits and "plan" to satisfy the state inspector but it got me wondering.... how do other people feed their kids?

So do/did your kids eat a lot of purchased baby food? When did you stop giving them the jar/tub stuff? What were your big worries? Any great recipe suggestions?

3's

3 creative kid projects for the weekend.
1. Made flubber (thanks for the recipe Elle)
2. Made a fort out of a cardboard box
3. Hauled some dirt in a plastic dump truck (What? Not creative, I know.... but it beats telling you we made a volcano in the toilet bowl (vinegar & baking soda) and then scrubbed it....)

3 movies we watched this weekend.
1. Holiday (cutesy & a definite stretch... but worth it for Jack Black's eyebrows)
2. Everyone's Hero (adorable and the "About Chris" (Reeves was a director) piece was lovely)
3. Catch a Fire (OH. MY. Thought provoking and well done. Love Tim Robbins even if Hot Stuff doesn't appreciate his politics and peta....)

3 things I cooked this weekend.
1. waffles. yummy, vanilla waffles
2. fried egg & bacon sandwiches
3. Guinness pot roast (with lovely sweet potatoes, onions & carrots soaked in the broth)

3 places I went this weekend.
1. Target (to get glue for the flubber)
2. the grocery store (alone... it was like a trip to the spa)
3. Kid Fest (bouncy houses and demos of stuff.... fun but I was offended by the expense of all the 3-minute runs at the bounce houses and super-slide.... it was worth it to see the giant grin on Sweet Boy's face.... but a trip to the park would have been cheaper... And it made me miss Elle and our excellent workout at the Bouncy place in Colorado....

3 things I didn't do but had on my list.
1. Go for a walk (busy or lazy on Saturday and rainy on Sunday)
2. Go to the swimming pool
3. Mop

3 things I did just for myself.
1. Worked in the flower beds... just pulling grass & planning
2. Read (Still slogging through The Fiery Cross.. and still amazed fiery isn't spelled firey....)
3. Sipped Crown Royale while chatting with my husband

What the???

Legislative Update

I think the legislative schedule should be:

Jan 1: Convene.
Jan 2: Have a token house & senate session. Take some pictures. Have a potluck.
Jan 3: Deconvene the session.
Jan 4: Free Conference Committee.
Jan 5: Everyone go home.

Seriously. The way this session is working out everything is going to be decided by 6 individuals (2-3 of whom I truly believe might benefit from HB5's building program at Warm Springs... they are that certifiable) during Free Conference Committee at the end so why bother with the whole process part?

Just keep watching.

26 things... because I haven't thought of 40 yet...

1. Put new batteries in watches. DONE.
2. Take paperwork to safety deposit box.
3. Drop off boxes of donations at Good Sam’s. DONE.
4. Recycle plastics (March 3-8). DONE.
5. Plant basil seeds. WHO AM I KIDDING? IT IS STILL WINTER.
6. Paint kitchen window frame blue. (LATER... I HAVE TO TAKE IT APART.)
7. Clean pantry and donate anything we will never eat.
8. Set up budget in Quicken. DONE.
9. Prepare black & white baby photos with photoshop. DONE.
10. Print, frame & hang baby photos. DONE. Dollar Store frames and SO ADORABLE.
11. Clean craft drawers and donate unused items.
12. Attend gardening classes. WENT TO THE NURSERY.... THEY ARE REMODELING SO WON'T START UNTIL LATE APRIL.
13. Make brownies. DONE.
14. Watch Bare Escentuals dvd and learn how to use new makeup.
15. Vacuum the car. DONE.
16. Hem closet curtains.
17. Fix baby-proof cabinet lockers in kitchen.
18. Find a perfect new diaper bag for daycare.
19. Label photos & put in albums.
20. Mail package to Elle.
21. Do a “photo shoot” of kids.
22. Help Sweet Boy paint rocks for the garden.
23. Put up baby gates. DONE.
24. Bleach white tea towels or toss them. DONE.
25. Get estimates for putting a wall in the living room (to make a bedroom).
26. Work on baby book.

On dirty floors

Do you ever put a used dryer sheet on the baby’s round little belly and call her “mini-swiffer” while she rolls around the kitchen?

Have you ever used a golf ball cleaner to clean muddy shoes?

Sunday my son was on his back on the kitchen floor flapping his arms & legs…. When I asked what he was doing he said, “Making angels.”

Is anyone else seriously confused when they drop baby food on the floor at someone else’s house and the dog isn’t there to clean it up? How do you people keep your floors clean??

Have you ever used a vacuum attachment on the dog?

How many square feet of floor can you vacuum before the dirt-cyclone in the clear canister of the vacuum stops swirling? Me? About ten…. And I vacuum a lot.

I’ve been trying to teach the dog to wipe his paws before he comes in the house. It’s true, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Why don’t they call linoleum and tile samples by names that would really help me decide… like “mud” or “dirt yard” or “soot-n-horseshit” or “black-n-white dog”??

Have you ever taken the garbage out in your pajamas and a pair of 4-buckle overboots… with no shoes underneath?

Any ideas how to clean the socks of a 2-year-old when his boots “got mucked down ‘n I walked outen a them” Fear not… I tossed them.

Does anyone else let their kid pee on the side of the shop just so he won’t track across the freshly cleaned floors to get to the bathroom? How about your husband?

How can there be 14 pairs of muddy boots on the porch when there are only 3 sets of feet (and one set of knees) capable of making muddy boots in the household??

Ah, yes, ‘tis the season of mud & muck in our neighborhood….

The project for this week....

I was going to make you do Easter baskets..... yes, mine are done. I hit the $1 store and spent twenty bucks.... that, combined with the week-after-Easter clearance from last year and I'm pretty much set. I need to get some glow-in-the-dark pacifiers for DG's basket & more m&m's for the plastic eggs... I'm not sure, um, WHERE the first two bags of m&m's went....

I only have 4 baskets to do... my two little nieces & my two kids. We re-use the baskets every year.... who needs all that cluttery crap?

So, for you project this week.... cue dread music...

The JUNK DRAWER.

This is mine. It is by "my" chair in the living room. Yes, it has two packs of dental floss. No, I don't use floss... I use the Oral-B hummingbird. Wait, wait... let me straighten it up....

Ah, there. Isn't that better? Yes, my drawer has paint samples.... I've been planning to paint the living room for, oh, two years or so now. The little books are actually baby books... I try to write at least once a week a little bit about what the kids are doing... they each have one. Yes, the last time I wrote in them was early February. Hoof Alive.... greatest nail stuff ever. Nippers and floss for Hot Stuff. The little soldier men when back to the little soldier men tin.... although there will be more toys hiding in there by the end of the week. Baby face stick.... for chubby chapped cheeks. Various finger nail tools.... Lovely gardener's friend hand creme.... I like it and it is that time of year.... time to switch to gardening stuff and try to stave off the greyness of the rest of this season we call "wind," er, early spring.....

There's a coherent thought in here somewhere....

I've been pretty lazy about checking up on other blogs lately.... mostly because, while I rarely post comments, it really bothers me I CAN'T post comments as myself in blogger these days.... and every time I've tried to fix it I've been screwed over by my dial-up connection. (And, please, let's not get into why I have dial-up.... it will make me cry.)

So anyway, I was cruising around and found this post by Candace at Suburban Misfit. No, I'm not considering shutting down this blog.... (Honestly, I consider a lot of what I write here to be the only baby-book material my children will get.) But I've been kicking around a post about writing and improved writing for a while.... and she kinda covers that for me. Most bloggers wax poetic on their bloggaversary about how much their writing has improved and how poor their early posts seem now that they've had writing practice..... yeah, not so much over here. My writing has actual gotten worse. And my clever, quick wit seems to have left the building... permanently.... I feel like I'm standing on an empty street corner shouting, "No, really, I'm funny..... I am. I'm really funny!" Looking at the last year or so of posts I can only pick out a handful I really like.... most are just frantic scribbles.

But I think I need those frantic scribbles and I plan to ride out this crazy phase (into the next crazy phase) and hope to put up a decent post every ten posts or so.....

I had a really funny post planned in my head about the new Cetaphil cleanser I got at Costco but DOOCE beat me too it. It's just as well... her post was damn clever and well written. Mine would have gone something like this:

Got new face cleanser for in the shower.... looks & feels (but doesn't smell or taste) just like.... um..... boy juice.... you know. Now whenever I'm in the shower with Hot Stuff I can't help darting my eyes back and forth between him and the bottle and wonder.....

I mean, really, didn't you ever have a guy in college tell you it was really great for your skin??

Luscious, sleek, spoked-wheeled goodness... I covet thee.

I admit it.

I covet the double-joggers of other mom's at the playground.

Yes, my crappy single jogger is a Yakima. Awesome yuppie-mama name brand... but it was really designed to be a great bike cart... and then they decided to multi-task it and put a handle on it and call it a jogger.... but I can't complain.... it was free.

And, honestly, when you have two kids stacked in there like cord wood sticking their fingers out the sides where the previous owner decided to cut large jagged holes in the clear plastic.... well, it just ain't as sexy.

Besides I have to drive to the playground and buying an expensive piece of baby gear just because we are having a bit of early spring-like weather and I am dreaming of the days when I was in shape (a shape described as something other than "dough-blob" anyway) would be a serious waste of cash, right??

Hearing.

Wow. Is my music collection lacking.... I haven't bought a cd (ok, or downloaded anything for the ipod) in ages.

I'm still grooving to Pavlo and David LaMotte lately.

Anyone have any new suggestions?

Reading.

Just started Diana Gabaldon's next book in the series The Fiery Cross. I'm having a hard time getting into it.... this is the 5th book and I've read exerpts from it but I can't remember what happened in the last two books...

Next up is probably Flags of Our Fathers. Hot Stuff read it and loaned it to my dad, who loaned it to my mom, who loaned it to my sister.... so if it ever comes back I'll check it out.

Just finished re-reading the Narnia books.... I got the complete set in one edition for Christmas.

Is Sweet Boy ready for nightly installments of Charlotte's Web? Anyone? Hot Stuff read him Gentle Ben and he did ok.... maybe I should start with something a little lighter.... but now that the tv season is slipping into reruns we'd like to do a chapter-a-night in the living room a few nights a week.

The kid really digs books. We read three at bedtime.... his choice. And, yes, I have been known to hide the really long ones (or that damn Dr. Seuss tongue-twister one, Oh Say Can You Say) in the book shelf where he might not find them.... We bought a few lots of Dr. Sueuss and Little Critter on ebay to jump-start his library and it has grown quite a bit but we are always on the look-out for good new books.... any suggestions?

Oh, what, and you'd like MY suggestions for reading? Why, my most recent favorite is Old Turtle because I love the pictures.

Watching.

We watched Borat this weekend. I dunno, maybe I went in with low expectations, but I kinda liked it. There were laugh-out-loud moments and, in general, the whole movie just made me feel kinda.... uncomfortable. And I think it is good to feel uncomfortable once in a while. It made me realize how hopelessly comfortable I usually am.... know what I mean?

Now I wish I'd paid attention to all the things the critics said about the movie... didn't they get sued a couple times over it? And, not to be too 'neck, but is the actor the same guy who is in Talladega Nights????

Other movies I've seen recently: Flyboys (good by nothing like the book... not even the same war, actually....), Flags of Our Fathers (good, still have to read the book... not sure I'm ready for it....), The Illusionist (good, love Edward Norton), Some movie with Robin Williams becoming president (Bad, wanted a funny movie.... not funny, not compelling), Little Miss Sunshine (good, clever).

As you can see.... my review criteria are very limited. One good line can redeem an entire movie in my world.

On tv we are watching The Black Donnelly's on Monday nights. (And, yes, I still watch Heroes... more out of sick habit than acutal enjoyment) Tuesdays are pathetic. Wednesday is Friday Night Lights. Thursdays: The Office, My Name is Earl & ER. Friday is Vegas. I would like to watch Grey's Anatomy, Numbers, Deadwood & CSI: Las Vegas but we don't get the channels.... Any other tv shows I should be watching or get the series on dvd?

Separated at Birth???

That tongue again....

In training for the next Iditarod....

Legislature this session..... it's crazy.

That's all I'm gonna say about that.

3 More Reasons I Won’t Be Getting Mother of the Year

Subtitle: Confessions of an “earnest” mommy.

I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to give kids under 3 popcorn. The almonds he sometimes gets to eat? Yes, I know I’m risking a trip to the ER to have tiny bits of rock-hard nut picked out of his lungs after he inhales them. But popcorn? How else am I supposed to do a trip to Target without the $1 combo #1???

Darling Girl started to fall off a high place… instead of just letting her fall and land on the soft rug I smooshed her poor little self into the cabinets trying to break her fall. Poor baby. But, when I confessed to the nurse at her 6 month appt, she said, “Uh-huh. And it won’t be the last time….”

I saved a toilet paper tube to test some of SB’s toys that DG sometimes plays with…. I put the tp tube down, grabbed the tub of toys, turned back around and…. All that was left of the tp tube was a sodden, slimy lump of cardboard…. That girl sure can move fast... and this was even before she knew how to crawl.....

Baby #3

The maternity ward at St. Pete's is getting an overhaul. Completion is projected for May 2008. The new maternity unit will be located on the 4th floor.

Do you know what this means?

My next child will be born in the elevator.

So do they have the seasonal GSC ice cream in the stores yet???

Lordy, I am so FULL of Girl Scout Cookies. Hot Stuff bought a box from the daughter of every guy he works with and I bought a couple boxes from the lovely Big.

I read Elle's post regarding cookie distribution and, honestly, I thought she was just saying she was doing that to up all the projects and ceiling fan installation she's been doing.... because she doesn't want to make me feel guilty for not getting off my ass and doing any of the many, many home improvement projects on my list. I also believed this because I hadn't received my shipment of samoas & thin mints. So I called her to tease her about it and she swore she'd shipped them..... hmmmm, I though, a mystery....

I couldn't believe Hot Stuff would eat them.... not his thing. Our UPS guy is usually pretty reliable and leaves things in the dining room door (we have huge space between the screen & the door... the beauty of old log houses that have been sided) or on the big (pellet storage) trunk outside the door. Nope, no cookies there. So I wandered around to the other door.... the one that faces the road and opens into the living room... the one we never open unless it is time to take down the Christmas wreath. Lo-and-behold (where DOES that phrase come from, anyway??) THERE WERE MY COOKIES.

I had a blue & fuzzy moment and split a box of lemonades with Sweet Boy. Then I wised up and stashed the rest in the freezer in the garage. As you may know, my garage is across the yard from the house so at least I will be getting a good workout running back and forth retrieving my snacks.

It's Monday.

So I've slacked a bit on this.

Today your job is to deal with your stick. Sounds kinky, right? No, silly, your chapstick.

And, yes, I am in the process of baby-proofing my house, why do you ask? What? Your kids have never eaten a chapstick???

The goal is to locate your lip balm, assess it, use it up or replace it as needed.

So I have several places I keep lip balm items:

The car: I have a glass-shine squeeze tube of tinted stuff in the car. I don't love it but it handles the heat/freezing well. When it is used up I will replace it with a screw-top wand-applicator tube of something delightful.

The decanter on the fridge: I have an antique alcohol thingy on my fridge and in one of the little shot glasses resides my mail chapstick. Currently I'm using up the last "Natural Ice -After All, It's Inglenook" advertising lip balm from back in the day when I worked for WME. Once we close that chapter I'll start in on one of the many Burt's Bees balms Santa keeps bringing me.

The drawer in the living room: We have this drawer (I'll post photos later) that contains, well, those things.... nail files & hand lotion & clippers & stuff. I have a lip conditioner tube in there.

The bedside table: Tricky one.... little fingers tend to get into this space when they are supposed to be napping. So, in a zippered container shoved way in the back I have a nail file, foot lotion & lip guck..... what else might be in that container? Hah.... that stuff is in another special place....

My purse: I have about eleventy-million lip balms, glosses & sticks in my purse. Well, ok, I counted.... actually there are 3.

Work: I have a nice lipgloss & a plain lip balm in my desk drawer.

That's it. That's all I need. The rest are brand-new Burt's Bees stashed in the tub with the spare toothbrushes & extra vitamins. Now I just have to talk myself into "releasing" those half used tubes of brownish Lancome lipstick my mom gave me from her "freebie" gifts.

I can do it. I can do it.

I like peas.

But I don't like pees. And for some reason I've been encountering a lot of them lately. Someone (no one will 'fess up) peed in front of the chair in the living room. I'm blaming the dog.... well, actually, I'm blaming the ones in our home who are capable of opening the child-proofed front door..... because I'm pretty sure we failed to make him go out before we all left for the day.

Then last night Sweet Boy... oh where do I start.... Sweet Boy woke up with a wet pull up, tried to go potty in the potty chair, managed to hose down the front of his jammy shirt, I helped him clean up and get into sweats & a t-shirt and a dry pull up..... Then his morning he went racing downstairs to see Grandma, give daddy a hug-n-a-kiss, and go potty. Daddy was in the bathroom with the door locked (his either afraid my mom will walk in on him or afraid I'll try to put the moves on him in the shower.... we aren't sure....). Sweet Boy came racing back upstairs for the potty chair..... he didn't make it. He got his pants down and then, in his words, "My wiener just peed, mom. It just peed right there on the floor." My first thought? "Who taught him the word wiener???"

But we have the carpet cleaner here (called mom to bring it after finding pee spot #1) so I'll take care of it tonight. Fun Monday night in store for me, eh??

Dum-da-dum-dum

Dum-da-dum-dum.... that's the sound of drumming.... ear-drumming. Ear-drumming my daughter can't hear very well right now.

The audiologist tests showed her ear drum has healed perfectly (yeah, no more hot pink choking hazards to stuff in her ears for bath time). But..... her tympanic test (?) showed a flat line in her left ear and a little flutter in her right ear. Not the hearty vibrations needed for good hearing. So she's still got fluid in behind her ear drums and requires more powerful antibiotics for 10 more days.

So, after yet another charming time at CVS-West, (damn, the guy I had to deal with really had his tit in a ringer about something... fortunately I only had one kid with me and I wasn't tired so I didn't have to shove him in a 55-gallon drum, plant him in the back 40 & grow tomatoes on him) I came home with some pricey new antibiotics.... not the bubble gum kind this time. I can't tell if they bother her belly or if she just thinks sleeping with mama is a good habit to develop right now.... be patient with me.... she's still getting me trained.

Now, we are planning to play along for this second round of antibiotics but if things don't get better soon I might go homeopathic and take her to see my witch doctor.

I'm discovering I'm not a very good parent of a sick child. I'd be a mess with a chronically ill child. I get all tired & forgetful with stress. Interesting. I'm great with my own illnesses...brave face, strong front, plan a dynamic course of action.... all that. But it is an entirely different thing when you are worrying about someone else. Especially when that someone is a 17 pound bundle of pink cheeks & grins who seems to think she invented skip-hop crawling and delights in smooshing gummy cracker bits in her hair & eyebrows. A cheery little person who actually grinned at the doctor while he shoved things in her ears and offered him the dixie cup she was chewing on.... she gave him a look like, "Hey, this sucks, but they have great toys here...."

So we will be BACK at the doc's office next week to see what's up....

Redneck Boobies.....

Well, I'll admit I'm pleasantly surprised by this bit of legislation regarding pumping at work.

Do You Keep Score??

As I was snuggling the baby in bed last night Hot Stuff and I had the following conversation:

HS: Did you give the baby her antibiotics tonight?
Me: Shit.
HS: You better do it. You haven't missed a dose yet.
Me: You do it. Seriously. How many times have you given her a dose of anitibiotics?
HS: How many times have you plowed the driveway?
Me: How many times have YOU plowed the driveway? Because I bet it is fewer times than I've given this kid antibiotics.....

I have this internal conversation going almost all the time about balance, fairness & equality. I have to have the conversation or I get bitter. I like to think of it as self-therapy.

I keep score.

I'm not proud of it but I do it. And you know what? I'm winning.

I asked my mom one time why she packed my dad's clothes & toothbrush for him. She replied, "I've never changed the oil or checked the tire pressure."

I try to keep that in mind. Balance is about what is fair at any given moment in a relationship.

Sometimes that is hard to keep in mind when I realize I change the oil in all three vehicles (well, ok, I write the check & I wrangle the two little ones while someone else does it...), I schedule all the appointments, I do all the doctor & vet trips, I wait for the repair guy, I empty the dishwasher, I do the majority of the cleaning (toilets, tub, dusting, vacuuming....), I deal with the taxes & bills, I do the budget, I balance the checkbook, I do the baby books & photo albums, I sort the too small clothes, I do the grocery shopping, I do the toilet paper shopping, I feed the baby strained peas, I buy the wedding/baby/Christmas gifts & wrap them, I buy the stamps, I wash the sheets & make the bed.... and on and on and on.... Hot Stuff handles snow removal & goes to the dump......and that, my friends, is a paragraph about me being bitter.

The reality is we have a more balanced marriage than most. Hot Stuff will grocery shop if I give him a carefully prepared list.... but he always comes home with 100 impulse buys. And Costco with him... well, I've blogged about that before..... He sweeps. He mops. He puts his dishes in the sink. He generally keeps the house tidy. He picks up the toys. He tries not to track mud into the house. He recycles his pop cans. He makes dinner for himself and the kids on a regular basis. He picks up the kids from daycare and in the summer he often drops them off. He changes diapers. He reads stories.

So if he's such a good husband and daddy why do I always keep score? I either keep score and decide things are in balance and we have the perfect situation or I keep score and I feel smug because I am super-mommy and get so much accomplished compared to him. Isn't there something about dancing backwards and in high heels?

I'll be thinking more about this.....

Boring Budget Post

I was dealing with the credit card yesterday.

I say "dealing" because our current budget system is this: Put everything on the credit card and then pay it off every month. When I get the statement I check for errors & do a quick breakout to make sure we aren't spending too much in any category. The general categories are:

Groceries
Target
Movies
Fun Stuff
Medical
Fuel
Lunch

Groceries seemed kinda high but then I realized all of the Costco bill was going to groceries and much of what we get at Costco is really "Target" stuff like toothpaste & toilet paper. My Target spending was far below the $150/month budget. Fuel costs are always a kick in the teeth. Lunch... I didn't eat lunch out at all in January and Hot Stuff got "confused" and used cash for all his lunches so I have no idea what he spent.... can't have been much because he didn't get out any cash this month and there was about $60 in the change bowl and I think $30 is still there. We spent a whooping $27 on movies... weekend rentals are $3.50 for new releases and $2.00 for regular movies... we've been splurging on new releases so that's about 2 movies a weekend plus the occassional kid movie. (Although Bob the Builder goes West & Magic Schoolbus from the library have been great for the last few weeks.) Good thing I bought a big bag of popcorn on sale or our entertainment budget would be maxed out. Our breakout for January was further complicated by the purchase of mass quantities of Musinex & Alka-seltzer cold (for Hot Stuff), chloraseptic cough drops (for me), Dimetapp (for Sweet Boy), and a very expensive prescription decongestant (that didn't do a damn thing) and antibiotics (for Darling Girl). It doesn't seem like much but it adds up. Not to mention the splurge for Puffs Plus with Lotion. Figured out the mystery $250 charge was a payment to the doctor's office. It covered medical expenses going back to September. Insurance was being nasty about paying and I had to take DG in so I just put it on the card.... got a reimbursement from them for $189 last week... so that wasn't as bad as it could have been.....I stayed on budget... less the $20.... For Valentine's -fabric to make wash cloths for DG, a few Valentine's cards, a plastic car case (ok, really a thread organizer) and a clearance bag of lollipops for SB. I also spent $20 on a toy chain saw for SB's birthday in June & $25 for 10 pairs of Vicky's Secret panties. What? I needed panties and 10 for $25 is a great deal. Hot Stuff is the one who blew the budget this month. hee-hee. He bought a CHAIN SAW. Not a toy one. Actually he did pretty well.... popped his ebay cherry and got a Stihl. But after that plus another $120 or so in accessories... well, the bill was a little higher than I like. So we will try to tighten the belts for the next month... problem is we have about 100 baby and wedding gifts (some for the same people!!) to get this month..... hhmmmm.... I wonder if they'd all like wash cloths???

Credit Where Credit is Due....

Seems someone came to visit today based on my comment at Mary P's about the kiddie-bedroom looking like ToysRUs barfed in it.

I must give credit where credit is due.

I believe the lovely Elle first said that line to me.

She's good with the one-liners.... so good that many of my one-liners originated with her... or some conversation we've had.....

Go visit her blog and ask her to tell you the story of the fart jar. You won't be disappointed....

So… about that ear….. things I have learned…..

***UPDATED TO ADD***
I didn't slap the baby. Really. She got an ear infection after getting a cold and that is the reason for the ruptured ear drum. But while researching it on the 'net I found out a slap can cause it too.... and this, for some reason, turned me into earnest-mommy at the doctor's office.... I think in the back of my mind I was afraid the doc was speed-dialing human services when she left the exam room..... and it made me all stuttery and nervous and talking fast about the COLD she had last week and the PUS coming out of her ear from the INFECTION.
***END OF UPDATE***

I learned one of the main causes of ruptured ear drums is a flat or cupped-hand slap to the side of the head.

I learned pus is spelled with one s.

I learned pus leaking out of your ear 6 days after you’ve seen the doc for a cold is a bad sign. (And can I just shout about how TOTALLY vindicated I feel about that doc trip last Friday even though the doc I saw made me feel like a total idiot for bringing them in for a simple cold…. Yes, I took them in because of the puking but at least now human services can’t get me for neglect, right? Possibly a slap to the head, but not neglect….)

I learned ENT stands for Ear, Nose & Throat.

I learned pink antibiotics must be refrigerated. Thank Bob it was my daughter…. I can dress her in little pink outfits to disguise the pink slobber on her clothes.

I learned CVS-West sucks as a pharmacy (but it still has the best wine selection in town). And, yes, dear little girl at the counter, I DO want to wait for the prescription… does my staring make you nervous? Or is it the twitch??

I learned the ear pain should be gone once the ear drum perforates…. And yet the little one STILL thinks she should sleep in my bed and use my nose as a comfort object.

I learned I love my doctor’s office. And I really, really, pink-smiley-face love my doctor’s nurses.

I learned babies with exploded ear drums can’t get water in their ears.

I learned I don’t actually need to bathe my child all that often.

I learned wax ear plugs are by the contact solution at ShopKo.

I learned wax ear plugs come in hot pink.

I learned babies will try to eat hot pink wax ear plugs if possible.

Ok, I’m tired, enough learning…. Wish us luck at the ENT tomorrow… we should get a clean bill of health and no problems…..

Lent

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I did not make waffles for dinner on Tuesday and I did not go to church yesterday. So I'm not a good Catholic... what else is new??

One year I gave up chocolate & coffee for Lent... that was a good one. Back in the days when I was in great shape & exercised and wasn't a slave to cravings like I am now.

This year we are not going to punish ourselves for Lent. No. We are going to be proud and strong and productive.

Susan is giving up multi-tasking. It's a great post. Go read it.

I'm giving up starting another project until I finish the one I'm on now. For example, yesterday I made new face washclothes for Darling Girl. Adorable little double-thickness squares of the softest and most beautiful blue and white striped fabric. They look great with her eyes. And she likes to snuggle them. She likes them so much I'm thinking of cutting out a teddy bear shape and making her a little flat-stanley bear to play with... because, of course, what the kid needs is more toys. But I will FINISH with the blue and white fabric and put the extra bits away before I start anything else.... or that's the plan anyway.

My second Lenten Resolution is to make a list of 40 things that need doing and getting them done. I've made it to 26 and I'm stuck.... so help me please.

And it is Thursday again....

Oops.

Ok... here's a quickie. Go sharpen all of your eyeliners. (Brother, this one is for you.)

I'm serious.

I am so tired of trying to draw a tidy smudge during my first cup of coffee and being nearly blinded with pain by the scrape of a wooden edge becaue my eyeliner is so dull.

So sharpen them. Or toss them. Your choice.

Snippets

And, suddenly, as I was putting away the apples I thought to myself, "I gotta blog this..."

My weekend, in snippets:

Cucumber all-purpose spray. Yes, this is what I bought myself as a treat this weekend. And then I found myself cleaning the pushy-knob that opens the microwave door. With a toothbrush. And, ta-da, I've developed yet another obsession. At a certain point Sweet Boy and I were actually arguing over who got to spray the front door and who got to wipe it. Ta-da, my children also harbor my obsessions. It's genetic.

A riddle. Small child sprinting down a long corridor followed by a woman frantically balancing a baby, a slice of pizza, a shopping cart (you're imaging me balancing a shopping cart on my head now, aren't you??) & a frozen yogurt. Where are they going?

The answer. Picture the woman carefully and calmly trying to talk the little boy through the process of unlocking the bathroom stall BEFORE he makes a puddle on the floor. Damn, that kid is fast... he had the door locked before I even got to it.

And, to make it even funnier. Picture the baby, strapped in her car seat in the front of the cart, happily gumming the slice of pizza (it was sitting on the tot-seat). Mother dreams of the millions she will make when she sells amazing rubber-armed child to the circus. Big Brother says, "Aw, sister...."

Finally, lunch & shopping are over. Everyone is happy and chatting away. We walk outside and a giant gust of wind blows the yogurt & the pizza away. GONE. BLEW AWAY. Sweet Boy spends the rest of the day making up stories about where it went. They involve mountains, dump trucks & grandpa getting in trouble for eating all the pizza when it blew into him.

So we have an adventure. We went through the drive-thru car wash…. I'll admit I've never been through one of those. It was a new experience for all three of us... heck even for the car so all 4 of us.... The blue-whappy things were a little scary but it was fun with the sunroof open... I mean... well, you know what I mean..... And a little man comes out and scrubs the back window and we yelled for him to run or the blue whappy things would get him… it all made quite an impression on SB… he can't stop talking about it.

Home & guests. The freakin' Jehovah's Witness people showed up. They come every few weeks…. I know the one girl so I can't be mean to her…. I had a feeling they would show this weekend (usually they show up when I'm making waffles in my flannel jammies with the dogs on them) but I was blindsided when they got here on MONDAY and they didn't offer to help unload the groceries or anything so it was a short visit.

It musta been the veggie puffs. Since Darling Girl made her new love of solid foods so obvious I dug out the container of veggie puffs. Yes, they are left over from SB's toddlerhood. Yes, the container is almost full. No, SB still doesn't like veggies all that much. But does Darling Girl like them? You betcha. I tasted them. They didn't taste too stale... well, no worse than how they taste new. And they melt in your mouth... which is actually a little disturbing.... but she had a blast... getting to pick up a little thing and put it in her mouth and NOT have every adult in a 6-foot radius shriek, gasp, make a horrible face, and take away her treasure. But then, then.... the most amazing poop. It shot up her back to the tops of her shoulders. Now, I should remind you, this kid is not big on producing waste. She doesn't poop all that often and this was two days in a row.... I was horrified. But, the up-side? We got to try out the brand new (hot pink) wax ear plugs* in the bath and they work like a charm.

Well, what do you call it? I fell prey to the siren-song of pre-produced, processed foods and bought a spinnin-chicken for dinner. What? You have no idea what delicacy this spinnin-chicken thing is?? Why? Ask Elle. She came up with the name. Why? Because it is logical. A chicken that spins.... on a rotisserie. It was so yummy and moist and delightful. Maybe I'll try to feed my kids less sodium & processed foods NEXT week.

And that, my dears, is all I got right now.....


*What? I failed to blog about the ruptured-perforated-exploded ear drum? Ah, maybe tomorrow.

Too Sweet for a Title

I "scowley face" New Blogger.

I can't seem to post comments since switching to New Blogger. Anyone else having this problem?

Another reason pink & red don't go together.....

Valentine's Day..... the celebration of Love.

I'm not going to lie. I had some plans for Valentine's.... you know what I mean..... I shaved.

Both legs.

All the way to the top.

And, as Susie notes.... Hair removal DOES count as a Valentine's Day gift.

I was wearing my new (TEN pairs for $25 at Vicky's Secret) panties. The ones that look really sexy (read: uncomfortable) but are actually quite comfy. Yeah. In pink. With hearts. I was wearing them.

You know the married-with-kids sexy night..... Wear the big one out playing "chase" and drug* the little one..... we all crawled into Sweet Boy's bed around 8:15 to read stories and that is where I woke up around 11:30. Lights out, baby & spouse gone, dog snoring, son drooling, disoriented.... so I guess I've officially crossed that line.... From wanna-be-sexy-trying-hard-but-usually-failing to just failing. Heavy sigh.

*Gawd, You know I'm kidding... right?!?!?

Oops. Missed Monday Again...

So Elle officially made Monday the Doggie Doo-doo day. Pick up the poo in your yard. Well, we have quite a few inches of snow covering that poo so I'm going to modify the assignment for here.

Pet stuff. Yes. Pet stuff. Clean the dog beds, toss the chewed up chew toys... whatever it takes.

Personally, I washed the in-house and on-porch pet bed covers and this weekend I will be fluffing the portion of the barn that attaches to the dog pen..... Not that the dog's butt has spent moment-one in the dog pen this winter.... But I will dust off his futon (yes, futon) and wash all the blankets, sort the toys and tidy things up a bit. Then I will throw out half a dozen chewed up tennis balls and make sure there are lots of fresh treats in the various treat jars.

SB has decided he LOVES to give Gunnar treats. He really loves to give him the ones shaped like little pretzels.... so maybe a trip to PetCo will be needed to resupply.

There aren't a lot of toys to tidy.... we've been trashing a frisbee a week this winter trying to keep in shape... they are brittle when frozen and break easily when chomped by an overzealous pup. I need to attend more parades to restock the supply.... or break down and actually spend CASH to get a really flexible one designed for dogs....

Probably pet week should involve a dog bath and tooth-brushing but I'm just not sure we will get to that this time.....

But this shit only comes in 3’s right???

My garage door opener died. Now, this has happened before (different garage) so it isn’t like I don’t know the signs…. Last time the signs were a burning smell, smoke and no uppy-uppy when I pushy-pushy the button. This time at least I had motor sounds but no uppy-uppy. So Hot Stuff and I got up there on the double-sided ladder (it was way kinkier than it sounds and we’re planning to utilize it in some manner for Valentine’s Day). All those little plastic gears that make the door go uppy-uppy?? Yeah, they were plastic dust. Of course, nothing being easy…. Our “garage” is actually a “shop” and the door opener is mounted (hee-hee, I said mounted) in the most confucked manner possible. And this confucked (that would be a hybrid of confused and fucked for the slow-on-the-uptake that read this site) configuration won’t work with the new style of garage door openers out there now. Heavy sigh.

Then the washing machine quit with the spinny-spinny. Water goes in, water goes out, but there is no agitation or spinny-spinny to get things clean. That will be coming apart in the next few days… meanwhile I run the occasional load of laundry at my in-law’s and remind Hot Stuff to think of the enjoyment he gets from his new-used chain saw while he’s pounding his socks on rocks in the creek because that’s about what it would cost to get a new machine. (Good thing the man rarely wears underwear, isn’t it brother??)

So then… to top it all off… the tv remote quit. (Again, brother, something you wouldn’t understand what with that vintage non-remote tv you own.) It works on the vcr & the dvd but not the tv. And you know I need volume control so I can mute the commercials while I’m watching Judge Joe Brown and drinking tequila in the early afternoon. I went out to the garage to look in the black file box… the box where I, in all my Virgo glory, keep all the owner’s manuals and information for every product we now or ever have owned. And I find the directions to the THREE remotes we have for the ONE tv upstairs and I find the single sheet of info for the GE remote that lists what devices it will control and it tells me how easy it is to program but IT DOESN’T TELL ME HOW TO PROGRAM IT. And I weep.

The Kid Room

I've spent a lot of time getting the bedrooms into some semblance of functionality. Wow. Was that a mensa-sentence or what? I've read it twice and it still doesn't make sense.

Dooce posted pictures of her daughter's room and got indignant email out of the deal. I thought I'd try for the same....

This picture shows 4 of the things I hate about this room. The peach (really, the photo just DOES NOT do it justice) carpet, the fake-wood trim (although it looks pretty good here), the what-do-you-call-that stripey wallpaper, and the stink bugs. The stink bugs invade on a regular basis... so much so that part of the bedtime routine is to hunt them down and smoosh them.

Cute Smokey Bear poster, huh? He has 3 of them and they were free... but shrink wrapping cost me a fortune. See the ugly light fixture? That's gotta be fixed. And I think I'll paint the blades blue. Can you see the new closet curtain on this side? I'm not sure I'm happy with it yet but it was in my fabric box so we'll try it for a while....Here's the kid bedroom. See the kids? Yes, we are testing the baby to make sure she isn't vampire by exposing her to intense sunlight. I'm not sure how she feels about it but she isn't squalling so it must not be too bad. Can you see the closet curtains? Shoulda taken another shot of them. And also the cool chalkboard and clever little playland of Little People behind the bed. See the trio of dinosaurs guarding the bed? Good idea, huh??This is pretty standard for this room. Sweet Boy, in his Bob the Builder undies, playing. See the new closet curtain on this side? And we moved the Winchester posters (please, hate mail regarding gun posters in a toddler's room? Go ahead) and the headstall he won and you can see the Smokey Bear poster on the incline there.... Also the cool carpet that is for playing cars on one side and railroad tracks on the other. He loves that. The dresser... vintage '70's with some orbital sanding, new knobs & some chalkboard paint.This is the coolest thing in this room. We call it The Cave. It's the over-the-stairs storage and this is a crummy photo (really, why are all these pics so crummy? I'm usually pretty good with the camera.... hee-haw.) I'm thinking of painting it various shades of blue and spray painting the curtain rod blue. Sweet Boy likes to jump out of here and land on his bed.We call it a "dangerous trick" and, well, we'll meet you at the emergency room.....

So that's it. The bedroom. You can see all the work that remains. Mostly painting.... I think I can prime the wallpaper and paint over it since we can't quite figure out what is UNDER it..... And I can't paint without Elle so that will have to wait.....

Drugs. Drugs. Drugs.

Elle has posted the challenge for this week.

Drugs.

I found baby decongestant with about half a dose left in the bottle..... and it expired in 2004. So help me.

I did the daycare bag drugs.
I did the kid drugs.
I did the daddy drugs.
I did the mama drugs.
I did the first aide drugs.
I did the cough & cold drugs.
I did the aches & pains drugs.

I flushed half a bottle of advil. What?!?! You say?!?! Yes. Hot Stuff has been complaining about this bottle for years..... I accidentally stored it in a cabinet next to a basket of opened soaps so it tasted like.... soap.

I ordered a new epi-pen. (And chucked the old expired ones I keep around just-in-case.)

I took the drugs out of the car, the purse and the travel kit and put them "back in rotation" so they will get used up and I replaced them with "fresh" stuff.

I realized I need to get more little batman bandaides.

Heck, I got so gung-ho I used up the "big kid wipes" my mom bought for potty-training.... felt great to toss that container. I know, I know... not technically a drug but still.... go me.

I re-thought drug storage in our house. Currently everything goes in the cupboard over the dryer (not as inconvenient as it sounds.... it is between the kitchen and the bathroom.... some day I will draw my house floor plan and you all will laugh....) The old prescription stuff that is worth keeping goes in a bin on the top shelf. The cough, cold, aches & pains stuff goes in a bin (another mini-crate that was a cd case in college) on the bottom shelf next to the first aid stuff. Then there is the big tub of "extra" stuff..... like the giant CostCo bottles of stool softener and the 47 bottles of GNC prenatal vitamins the state sent me when I registered for the prenatal program. All in all it is pretty efficient and it does keep it all above the heads of the little ones.

Ok, I'm going to make a Virgo confession here.... I save those tiny bags spare buttons come in and I put little mixes of advil-tylenol-aleve-excedrin in them for my purse, glove box & travel kit....

Ok, I'm off to sort bandaides by size and style now.....

Oops. I forgot about Monday

Well, it is Thursday. Do I have an excuse for not figuring out a Monday project? No.

So here's the project. Quick and dirty.

Clean your car.

Don't get all crazy and VACUUM it... it is 18 degrees and blizzarding here.... there will be no vacuuming.

I mean just get it organized.... Hell, you can do this while you are stuck waiting for a train..... Clean out the console box. (Yes, I have a lot of crap in there too.)

Toss the dried-out wet wipes.

Re-think the gallon-sized zip loc bags for each kids' stuff in the spare tire storage area. What? You don't have this? I have a sweatshirt and a change of clothes for SB (including socks... somehow he always manages to pee on his socks) and clothes and a spare diaper/wipes for DG. Every once in a while I have to up the sizes of everything. I also have an old pullover jacket for me and various items needed for winter living in Montana....

Oh, this is fun. Ok, the glove box... or jockey box... depending on where you live. Since I actually keep gloves in it I'm going to go with the former....

A little red bag containing: advil/excedrine/aleve, imodium, antihistamine, a tampon, bandaids, hand lotion
A little pair of stretchy gloves
Camp suds (eco-soap in the liquid variety.... for washing the dog in a creek after he rolls in cow shit..... trust me, it's the most used item in my car)
Hand sanitizer (for me, after the above episodes)
A bottle opener (what? I'm from Montana)
Spare headphones
Dog leash
Travel tissue packet
Registration & proof of insurance
Map

Console box: ipod, ipod charger, sunglasses case, ziploc of rabbit crackers, lip gloss, pencil, toy tractor

Under the seat: Roller window shade, travel box for butt wipes, bottle of water (Go ahead, Elle, admit you have a giant rock under your seat)

Trunk area: the above mentioned ziploc bags, various winter items depending on the day, a blanket & chew bone for the dog

Don't leave home without: sippy & sunglasses for the boy, paci & blanket for the girl, coffee & sunglasses for the mama, diet pepsi & nicotene gum for the daddy-o