Thursday, December 22, 2005
2. A monster truck decorated with Christmas lights sitting in someone's front yard. Complete with candy-swirl decorations where the monster lights go and a giant inflatable Sponge Bob in a Santa hat sitting in the back.
I'm going to think about this for a while.....
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
And, I’ve discovered, I’m not alone.
A friend of mine & I have been discussing this over email. We would discuss it in person but we are the same about that too…. We are good friends but being good friends means being ok with the fact that time is a precious thing…. We don’t have the time or the energy to get together as often as we would like. And that is too bad. But at least we know that and are honest about it.
We were discussing holiday traditions and all. We are both the oldest of several children (me-3, her-4) and our childhood has very similar dysfunctions. And we both handle situations the same way…. Almost to the point of scary. Lots of planning and lists but many built-in options for flexibility or plan-changing. We are both very smart & very practical. We are both shy but self-assured… which often comes across as aloof. We are both mediators in our families. We both value family very much and almost always sacrifice our own happiness for the “common good” of the family. We both suffer from stomach ailments or “weak” stomachs… gee, think that has anything to do with being the mediators instead of the screamers?? At 2:00 am after a stressful day or event you will find either one of us, sleepless, scrubbing the grout around the toilet with a toothbrush or alphabetizing the spice rack. And yet, most people who know us would say we are “laid-back” and would only use the term “anal” if they saw my carefully labeled and organized medicine cupboard or looked in my container-lid drawer.
We were never close in school. Circumstances beyond our control made the kids in my class very self-reliant and close with each other but beyond that I was never much of a one for friends. I lived too far from town and things were too strict or strange at my house…. Nothing horrible or unspeakable…. Just the usual FUN in dysfunctional.
Talking with her this week has been a fascinating exploration of myself. We agree on so many things and can see our own behaviors & defenses in the other person….. scary, but reassuring too.
I don’t know where I was going with this but I guess I’ll finish by saying it is nice to know I’m not alone in the many facets of my personality.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
1. My form letter & a photo card of Sweet Boy.... tradition.
2. Black holiday socks with little santas on the sides.
3. My black velvet pants.... elastic waist.... the key to healthy fudge consumption.
4. Fudge & caramels. My fudge was perfect, the caramels were soft and this year I branched out and did truffles too.... they are easy but they really do look like reindeer poop.
5. My brilliant gift idea this year seems to be dvd's and art supplies.
6. We don't do much outdoor decorating.... no plug-ins means no Grizwold-style light displays but I do try to decorate the barn loft and do a few things with plain greens & bows. I'll post pictures if I take any....
7. Holiday Party Season is limited to 24 hours. This year we did Hot Stuff's work party on Saturday night and mine on Sunday afternoon..... we didn't do any other parties.... does that mean we are anti-social or have no friends?
8. My family opens gifts on Christmas Eve, then does Santa presents & gifts from distant relatives on Christmas day. Hot Stuff's family does it all on Christmas day.... it is a long day.
9. My family is known for "casual" meals on Christmas Eve. Favorites include CostCo lasagnas & bag salad or cold cuts & import beer varieties. It is about being together... not being in the kitchen. My "style" is rubbing off on my husband's family.... although I have yet to convince them "fudge & cookie bar" is an acceptable meal buffet.
10. I am totally going to kick Hot Stuff's ass on the Christmas tally this year. I have so many thoughtful and perfect gifts for him and awesome stocking stuffers. Yes, it is a competition and, yes, for some reason competitiveness makes me sound like a valley-girl.... totally awesome.
Too bad. The letter tradition continues… Actually, I told Hot Stuff I would be fairer this year and include the low-lights as well as the highlights of 2005. He just didn’t think anyone wanted to hear I locked my son in the car (in Colorado, in October… there goes Mother-of-the-Year AGAIN). But isn’t it interesting to know Sweet Boy can say, “Dammit. Cows.” and sound, oddly enough, JUST LIKE his Grandpa Al?? Ok, I won’t tell you Hot Stuff & I still argue about letting the cat out or about my little “problem” with closing the garage door.
We went to Cannon Beach in May. Sweet Boy’s first airplane trip. Honestly, can I say Sweet Boy is easier to fly with than Hot Stuff? Hot Stuff doesn’t like to fly… must have something to do with that one time they thought the fusee residue on his fire clothes was bomb-making material. We had a great time in Cannon Beach, it was a family reunion for Nana's family. Finally met Cousin Bobby and, of course, immediately loved him… he is irreverent & funny and we share a fondness for grapefruit juice and vodka. Hot Stuff’s family is really into eating, drinking & laughing. I won’t talk about my favorite meal since Uncle Gene could go to jail... that's all I'm going to say...
In June we had a little housewarming party… A keg of Blackfoot Brewery’s finest and Papa running the bbq is really all you need to have a good party. Gunnar thought he was in heaven with all those kids playing t-ball… I don’t think the kids were quite as impressed when the “outfielder” ate their ball. We are currently negotiating whether this party will become an annual deal or not…. If it doesn’t, just show up at our house sometime around the beginning of June and we will party anyway.
We spent quite a bit of time with the Lala family this year. Lala and the kids came up in July. We spent some quality time at Spring Meadow Lake. Sweet Boy & I went down there in October. We ate sushi at Target… I’m not kidding. It was good, too. Now we are trying to talk them into coming up here to ski this winter.
In December we headed to Las Vegas. The rodeo was a blast and Sweet Boy loved every minute. We bought an umbrella stroller for the trip…. Best $10 we’ve ever spent. Sweet Boy stuck his sippy cup by one leg and his little backhoe by the other, pulled his hat down low over his eyes and he was ready to go. The whole clan was there….mom & dad, Brother & Sister. Not only did we NOT injure each other… But everyone managed to have a really good time. And, no, for those of you wondering… Dad did not show up at the airport with a carry-on dog food bag… although we all know that is his preferred method for packing his gear.
Yes, life is pretty sweet here in the Gulch. Sweet Boy & Daddy are watching his (supposed to be a Christmas present) Shrek 2 dvd and eating popcorn. Is popcorn a vegetable? If it is we can put it on the short list of veggies Sweet Boy will eat. He also doesn’t eat anything green… including green goldfish crackers and green m&m’s. Sweet Boy points at the ceiling fan and says, “Ewlicopter,” and he loves to do “dangerous tricks” and turn somersaults. I tried to get a holiday picture with his riding moose but he refused to ride on it… he’d rather grab it by the neck and wrestle it to the ground…. Then he stands up, throws his hands in the air and waits for the applause. He really is a character and there are so many stories…
Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a happy 2006. Stop by and visit if you can!
Monday, December 12, 2005
Screw the tylenol. If you are truly sick go with Theraflu & Wild Turkey.
You think I'm kidding, don't you?
Put on your jammies & sit on the edge of the bed and drink it down in a few big gulps.... because if you aren't on the edge of the bed you WILL NOT make it to bed and will wake up several days later passed out on the floor with Captain Crunch stuck to the side of your face.... oh wait, that's a different story.....
Maybe you would recover in that passed-out time period even if you were awake... but it is so much more pleasant to be dead-unconscious.
Uncle Mo (not really my uncle) swears by it and says it MUST be Wild Turkey. We don't keep Wild Turkey around the house (it causes Hot Stuff to do an unfortunate thing called the "Turkey Dance" and, especially after that one video, we just don't want that) but I've found that Black Velvet works just as well.... don't waste any of the good stuff on this (Oh lordy... I can hear my brother stepping up on his soap box now to remind me the QUALITY that is BV....) because it really does taste like.... hmmm, words are evading me here.... it tastes like mentholated lemon-flavored rocket fuel. But damn if it doesn't work.
Go ahead... try Redneck Medicine. You'll like it.
Friday, December 09, 2005
I just found a post I wrote in mid-October and never posted..... so here it is..... kinda unfinished.... like so many things.....
Things I learned this weekend.
You can wrap a package beautifully and still not like the parents of the little girl you are giving the gift too.
The grey in my hair is paint…. Really.
You will feel better if you get new green apple dishwasher detergent & dish soap…. Then splurge and buy yourself a green apple candle and start referring to it as “spa kitchen.”
I end way too many sentences with prepositions. When did my grasp of the language become so poor? And why do I think myself justified in tacking “asshole” on the end of every sentence just to cover the preposition?
If you give a little boy a cup of water and a sponge brush he will “paint” an entire door clean. No guarantees on what you are setting yourself up for in the future when he gets his hands on a paint-loaded paintbrush.
Babies like McDonald’s. (First McD’s meal…. Write it in the baby book!)
When you touch up trim at knee level be prepared to discover a little boy with paint behind his ears.
The Dyson Rocks.
No matter how funny you might think it would be to paint a grey skunk stripe on the dog… don’t do it.
Getting up at 6:00 am sucks…. Especially on a weekend.
If you paint the garage door it will rain.
The older I get the less tolerance I have for modern country music.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
West Yellowstone was -45F yesterday..... that is WITHOUT wind chill.
Our thermometers were -23, -24 & -21 yesterday at 9:00 am. Yes, I have 3 thermometers. Shut up.
It doesn't feel too miserable as long as there is no wind and you keep moving. The snow is so cold and frozen it doesn't stick to anything.... it is odd and I can't really explain it... you just have to see it.
My father-in-law got the jeepster running while we were gone and plowed out our yard.... a good thing since the pickup doesn't have a block heater and won't start so I'm driving the car.
What's a block heater? Well, have you ever been in cold country and seen a little plug-in dangling out of the front of a vehicle? Did the driver tell you it was an electric car and he needed a really long extension cord? He was lying. It's a little heater that plugs in and warms the engine block so the car will start.... and the Dodge doesn't have one.... how dumb is that? Guess what Hot Stuff is getting for Christmas.... yup, a block heater and a new extension cord. My mom has this really cool extension cord with a light on it so you know the outlet works.... but it is white.... think about that.... white extension cord, white snow storm.... you won't find the plug in for that baby until spring!
How do you survive in weather this cold? Stay warm. Seriously. Dress for it. We have a chicken light (can I make this stuff up?) in our well house to keep things from freezing and when it is really miserable we keep the cupboard under the sink open so the water line doesn't freeze and the water running at a trickle so the drain pipe doesn't freeze.
And get this.... THEY AREN'T CLOSING THE SCHOOLS. Because, well, why? They have to keep the schools warm enough to prevent frozen pipes and that's warm enough for learning, right? One of my friends said kids were outside for recess on Monday. Other states close the schools if there is a foot of snow and the temp is below zero.... not here.
Are we tough or stupid? Wait... don't answer that.....
This morning I trudged to the giant closet (the old feed storage shed I de-mousitized and turned into my personal storage space) and drug out the boxes of Christmas decor. This weekend I'll decorate the barn loft (we don't do outside lights but I like to put a little something in the barn loft.... right now a scarecrow & a big corn sheaf are up there....) When we moved out of town we made a serious effort to simplify the holidays.... cutting down on the decorations, gifts, parties & general static.
The tree.... we are cheating about the tree.... last year we hiked about eleventy-million miles into the woods to get the perfect tree.... it really was lovely but my out-of-shape self almost DIED and there was no snow so we had to carry it out rather than skid it on a sled. We have another spot we can usually drive too that requires less hiking but with all the snow and cold this year (you didn't think I was going to let you forget it is -23 F here, did you??) we won't be able to get in there and it wouldn't be safe to take Sweet Boy.... so Hot Stuff's boss planned a thinning project for this weekend in an area with lots of Christmas tree-sized trees. So no big family event but we will end up with a great tree for the price of a $3 permit.
Last night I got groceries. Two work holiday parties this weekend to do potluck stuff for and candy-making things. I do fudge & caramels every year.... because it is really hard to screw up fudge and caramels (although one year we had "spoon fudge" on accident...) this year I'm branching out and adding rice crispy treats..... I know, I know.... hold me back! This morning I hit Target for that holiday stuff.... you know..... toilet paper & paper plates.... the stuff it sucks to run out of when you live 10 or more miles from Target and have guests.
Hot Stuff ordered our Christmas card photos last week.... can't wait to see what he picked. Yes, I do a form letter.... and, yes, I brag about my kid in it.... bite me.
Shopping. Well.... I have IDEAS for everyone... does that count? I'm about half way done. I plan to knock off a bit more of that tomorrow morning.... this is one serious advantage to having too much vacation time.... coming to work at 10:00.
Santa is bringing dental hygiene products for everyone this year..... this is one of those odd things that started when I was a kid..... Sweet Boy is getting a spiderman electric toothbrush & fruit-flavored toothpaste. He's also getting new crayons, mitten clips & a sticker book.
Oh hell, I guess I better confess now..... I over-shopped for Sweet Boy. I wasn't going to tell you.... after talking about simplifying and all.... he is getting a new toybox, a Shrek 2 dvd (which we've actually already opened and watched....), a Shark Tales dvd, a new big boy sled, a plastic backhoe (if I can find one....), Dr. Seuss books and a step stool/tool box (if I make it out to Home Depot before Christmas....). I was also going to get him a Lands End snowsuit but they are backordered until January.... whew, saved myself $65 there..... And you KNOW Hot Stuff will go out the week before Christmas and buy him a bunch of stuff.... we are OUT OF CONTROL.
So, how is everyone else doing with the howl-iday season??
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
** in which I again brag about my perfect child.
Family Vacation 2005 is officially over. Here’s the recap. We left Saturday afternoon out of the newly remodeled Helena International Airport (what? It has flights to Canada…. That’s international.) Lovely airport, we were on-time, the giant red suitcase weighed in at exactly 50 pounds, it was still above zero degrees, the Saints football game was on the radio and they were winning…. Life is good. Flying time to SLC is about an hour. Sweet Boy & Daddy colored with the color wonder markers (Ok, confession…. When I first heard of color wonder I was horrified….. won’t something that only colors the pictures stunt Sweet Boy’s creativity? I now believe color wonder ranks right up there with yogurt-covered raisins, umbrella strollers & sippy cups as the most amazing things ever invented.) I said, “Sweet Boy, can you color the deer’s nose?” and he promptly markered his own little button-nose…. But hey, it’s color wonder… no harm done!! We raced through the SLC airport…. Only 45 minutes of layover and when you are flying into Concourse E it is always a mad-dash….. Sweet Boy was in heaven…. Pointing and saying, “airplane, airplane” over and over. He wasn’t sure what to call the luggage carriers but he settled on “tractor” and he even saw some “big trucks” and a “pickup” too. True nirvana was reached when we saw a BACKHOE. He promptly fell asleep immediately after take-off. (I didn’t even drug him this trip…. I swear.)
We had a long, long shuttle trip to the hotel (take a taxi…. It costs a few bucks more but takes way less time.) We rested a few minutes and then met up with my mom & sister. They’d been there since Tuesday and swore after a few days you didn’t notice the smoke quite as much…. Yes, I’m complaining about the smokiness. Sorry, but I come from a state that just went completely smoke-free. (Ok, some places have until 2007 to comply.) I’m also going to complain a little about the prices of some things…. Overall, not too bad but there was this one $4.50 hot dog that Sweet Boy didn’t eat that’s really bugging me….. My dad & brother arrived a little later in the evening. Oh yes, the whole nerd herd was there….
We spent two days wandering around, going to Cowboy Christmas (vendor hell) and just acting like tourists. Sweet Boy loved the tram, the helicopters that fly over regularly, the lights & all the water features. We were disappointed the Treasure Island boats were out of commission and we decided not to fork over the cash to go to the Secret Garden and see the animals.
Sunday night we went to the rodeo. Amazing. Truly. I like rodeo anyway but this was an amazing event. We smuggled in a bit of Black Velvet (in the diaper bag… rather than the usual boot-top storage method preferred by my brother). Hot Stuff did an amazingly elaborate dance on the escalator (pretending) to go back down so the lady at the bottom could search his backpack… then she kinda realized he was with Sweet Boy and said, “oh, never mind” and I again realized just how devious my darling husband really is….
Taking cabs (we did it 3 times) made me sick to my stomach. No car seats. Need I say more?
On the way to the airport we bought an umbrella stroller. Best $9.96 I’ve ever spent. Sweet Boy likes to stash his sippy cup on one side of his legs and his toy on the other and away we go.
The flight home was very uneventful. It left at 6:45 am so we all napped most of the way. Being brilliant, I got cheesy-crackers for my “snack” and Sweet Boy broke them into pieces and dropped bits of fake cheese all over me…. Hot Stuff tried to help and managed to smear the cheese everywhere. Ah, motherhood. (I do remember a time when I traveled a lot for work and got on the plane wearing spiffy little outfits carrying a book, my ticket & a bottle of water….. those days, my friend, are LONG GONE.)
Sweet Boy lived up to his title and was, truly, sweet the whole time. What an amazing kid. Running on limited naps, late nights, odd eating schedules and going, going, going and he never melted down once. (Well, not totally true…. We got home Tuesday and went to lunch at Pizza Hut buffet and he cried when he was pooping his pants at the table and everyone looked at him…. Boy likes to poop in private.)
Friday, December 02, 2005
Is the little boy in trouble? Listen closer to his gibberish ….DAM.
**UPDATE** Mary P. got it. He's developed an addiction to "Green Eggs & Ham."
Sweet Boy is getting ready to go for a slide. (Don't worry... I didn't let him go down the big hills) These hills are really fun when it is muddy!
You can see true love between my sis & her guy in this series.... in the end she ditched him for the fun slide down the slope. Atta girl!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
It doesn't matter what you are doing.... get out a camera and Sunny will turn towards it and pose.
Of course, my sister is her usual glamorous self.
And Sweet Boy? Well, who doesn't love a guy who wears his hat like that??
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
On a sad note.... after 18 healthy babies ALL-Z was "open" (not pregnant). It is the nature of the business but it was a sad thing for all of us. Her tag actually says ALL-Z... short for Alzheimer's. She is sort of a leader-cow and always leads them the wrong way.... girl after my own heart......
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Sweet Boy now knows how to say tractor, combine, grain cart, truck, cow, and dammit dog.
We worked cows on Thanksgiving. Yes. Indeed. Early dinner (1:00) and working cows the rest of the afternoon..... interesting. But the weather was nice so we went for it. Nothing like working cows in a sweatshirt in November. Sweet Boy wandered around and was generally helpful. For a while he walked in big circles kicking cow pies.... then he walked up and down the raised walk by the alleyway. No nap and no fussing.... who is this kid? Hot Stuff ran the "tailgate" on the squeeze chute.... and did a very fine job for a city boy. Cows aren't his favorite thing but he played along.... maybe it was the promise of beer when we were done?!?! He didn't wock Dad on the head once with the tailgate and he hardly swore at all. Brother ran the rest of the squeeze chute.... his timing is fabulous. Mom did medication and kept the dog under control. Dad did the doctor stuff.... Do you really want the details on that? Pregnancy testing... that's what we were doing. Sister brought the cows down from the barn and ran the gate. Her boyfriend did the front of the alleyway.... he did a fine job keeping the cows off Dad's back. I ran the back of the alley and did the eartag numbers. I got about 14 slivers but I didn't get the pole slammed into me or pinch my fingers once.... always a hazard when you are shoving a metal pole behind a bunch of cows that are nervous about going up the alleyway. These old girls pretty much know the drill so there aren't usually a lot of wrecks but working with animals always has surprises.
Friday we went to the river and played around. Sliding down the dirt hills & hiking. Sweet Boy had a blast.
Today we fired a big pile of branches.... much fun for the firefighters in the crew.... Now we are getting settled in to eat more leftovers and watch the Carroll College Saints football game on tv.... then we will head home to try to beat the predicted blizzard that is coming tonight.... highs in the single digits tomorrow....
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Because, trust me, I want to tell you about the (big-ass) Hutterite turkey my brother is bringing home but I'm not so excited to share with you about his uterine turkey.... nope. Not at all.
Knowing my brother (and the Hutterites,) chances are good the turkey is still gobbling today. Yup, I can see it now..... just pecking and pooping around in my brother's house..... making a pet out of itself..... if Brother reads this and emails me the turkey's name you know we will be having grilled cheese sandwiches for Thanksgiving.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
After having a baby (June 2004) I promptly lost most of the baby weight and was down to 150-155 with very little effort beyond a daily stroller walk. (See me: Smug.)
My driver’s license says I weigh 145.
By the summer of 2005 I was pretty consistently below 150.
I thought I would loose the “extra 5” when I stopped breastfeeding (October 2005). Instead I ballooned to 160+ in September 2005.
The first focus was the eating…. As in, don’t do it so much. I’ve stopped grazing at the office candy bowl. Yes, I still get a treat or two but I’m conscious of it. That helps. Now I’m ready to add Phase II…. The movement. (I can’t bear to call it exercise… I just can’t….) So here goes. In the last week:
Thursday: Swimming with Sweet Boy
Sunday: Yoga Tape (Gentle Yoga)
Wednesday: 12 minutes on the elliptical machine & abs (pathetic)
Thursday: 14 min on the tread mill. 5 run, 9 walk. Abs & stretching (much better form)
The plan for the next week: This weekend will be much shopping & eating in Spokane. Next week will be at least 2 trips to the gym (16 & 18 minutes on machines) and maybe a swim with Sweet Boy if the weather is nice. The ULTIMATE GOAL is to drop about 15 pounds (from 150) and then gain back about 8 in muscle and hover between 140-145 in a perfect world. The reality is I will always be perfectly happy if I’m just a shade under 150.
As you can see, I’m breaking into this very carefully…. And I’m ok with that. I never thought I’d be “one of those people” who have to MAKE themselves exercise. And I certainly never thought my body would look like this!! But I’m making my peace with how it is and making plans for a few minor improvements. The only thing that looks really good right now are my calves…. That’s because I do 6 sets of toe raisers (2 each of straight, duck-foot & pigeon-toed) while Sweet Boy and Hot Stuff are playing “the bedtime game” going up the stairs. I follow Sweet Boy while he shoves his sippy cup through the stair steps and Hot Stuff catches it and puts it on the next stair up. Sometimes Sweet Boy stands on the step and mimics me…. Too cute and so motivational.
So keep me motivated people.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Sunday, November 13, 2005
I'm thinking of auctioning my brother off on Ebay.
Somebody make me an offer.
He cleans up pretty well.
He likes kids.
He can fix anything.
He has a good job in Cut Bank, Montana.
He likes horses.
I'll even throw in a clean sweatshirt to make him a real bargain.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Guilt: What’s worse than guilt? Smugness. Yep, that’s me. I’m smug. A much nastier condition than guilt. Sure, I suffer from typical raised-Catholic guilt. (My grandma could get me to do anything she wanted just by giving me a look.) But, really, when I look at my situation… I’m damn close to having it all. I have a gorgeous home (ok, it only has 2 bedrooms & 1 bathroom, pink countertops, peach carpet, a sloping floor & a bachelor packrat living under the kitchen. The décor runs a little too much toward elk prints for my personal taste but I consider that a small marriage compromise). (Side tangent: Does the punctuation inside the ( ) marks or outside? I can never remember… where is my Holt Handbook?) I have a fantastic husband (ok, he’s a little moody, he obsesses about his weight & he mumbles, but he’s funny, smart & sexy). I have a sweet & clever kid (well, ok, he doesn’t eat veggies or fruit and he loves to do “dangerous tricks” and someday he will be 2 or 16 and I will pay the price for all the naughty things I’ve ever done in this life but that’s about karma and, really, that isn’t his fault). I have a job (yes, I’d like to cut back my hours & sometimes it bores the hell out of me and sometimes it is frustrating and I wish it paid more but it has great flexibility and I love the people I work with….). I have great friends (Lala, I wish you lived closer. K- I’ll call you this afternoon… swimming then drinks at my house, I promise we’ll use the BIG wine glasses… bring Baby K’s jammies so you can spend the night.) (Side tangent: Why does MS Word change “jammies” into “jimmies” every time I type it? What the hell is a jimmies? Also, please note how I strategically got past the “I know the punctuation should go inside the quotation marks but I hate that because it looks odd” dilemma by using italics…)
Regrets: I don’t have a lot of regrets. Well, let me rephrase that… I have a lot of things in my past that I COULD regret but I choose not too. Hell, I’m a very interesting person and I wouldn’t be if I didn’t have my, um, colorful past. There are a couple of things that haven’t come-to-pass that I think about sometimes. I always wanted to raise my children in a multi-lingual household. That isn’t happening. I also mourn the general lack of ethnic diversity in Montana (Really, all we’ve got are Native Americans, unless, of course, you count Hutterites and Canadians) and I dread raising a child who might look askance at someone’s skin simply due to lack of exposure to variety.
Remorse: I think remorse really only should happen when you do something big & bad…. Like when you maim or kill someone. I mean someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Goals: Don’t ever say I’m not an over-achiever. (Ok, truth, I’m a big planner but not so good on the follow-througher part.) I like to make my goals before Thanksgiving every year. It gives me something to assess when I hit the February doledrums. My goals for the next year aren’t big. I want to downhill ski more this winter. (Do you think 18 months is too young to learn to downhill?) I want to fly fish more in the coming year. I want to have all my holiday stuff done early in December so I can enjoy the season (don’t laugh… I actually manage this most years.) I want to get pregnant. I want to de-clutter & simplify my office. I want to take more pictures. I want to remodel our house (ok, that isn’t in the next year but I thought I’d throw that out there in case anyone has some brilliant ideas….).
So, what was the point of this post again? Damn, I can’t remember. Ok, add that to the goals: Remember to take ginko biloba memory aid. I just keep forgetting.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Because it involves dwelling on the past, guilt inhibits creative action in the present. One of the most counter-productive things, therefor, you can do to either yourself or your child is feel guilty.
(Easier said than done, eh Einstein?)
Friday, November 04, 2005
He ditched the Pooh bear in favor of a Hot Wheels case when we got to Nana's house.
Things heard at our house this week:
From Sweet Boy, “Pun-kin.” (The daycarista musta taught him that one…. It sure surprised me when he said it.)
From Sweet Boy, “Apple.” Everything round and red is an apple. The button on the car seat. The tomato on the sign at the grocery store. Apples. He finds them in the strangest places… we are in Home Depot looking at cabinets and he is saying, over and over, “Apple. Apple.” I finally give him The Look and ask, “Where?” He points up… over my head… at the giant picture on the wall over the refrigerator section… a picture of apples.
From my father-in-law, seeing the sock fuzz between Sweet Boy’s toes, “Those are sprouts for a nice toe jam sandwich.”
Also from Sweet Boy, “Ewlcopter.” He has an ewlcopter toy. Harold the ewlcopter in his Thomas Train book. On his sweatshirt & his jammies. The whale on Nana’s shirt is an ewlcopter. The ceiling fan is an ewlcopter. How clever is that? The ceiling fan.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
I really can't figure out how to post this.... so here it is... rough-style.
By no means have I READ all of these books.... I just write down titles as I see them or hear of them and hope, hope, hope to read them someday. The list is handy when I go to the library and need inspiration. (Note: Yes, there is a little "trash" among the "treasures." No snobbery allowed here at the Homestead.)
Present at the Creation : My Years in the State Department
Education of Henry Adams
INVITATION TO PROVENCE
A Death in the Family
Tuesdays With Morrie
Tuesdays with Morrie
A Pattern Language
Daughter of Fortune
THE BURNING OF RACHEL HAYES
Have A Nice Day -No Problem A dictionary of Cliches
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
The Heart of a Woman
Ansay, A. Manette
Contours of American History
Appleman Williams, Willian
The Handmaid's Tale
Secrets of the Tsil Café
20th Century Words
Dictionary of Word Origins
Go Tell It on the Mountain
Notes of a Native Son
Slaves in the Family
The Barnhart Dictionary of Etymology
A Complaint is a Gift
Barlow, Janelle & Moeller, Claus
Bate, Walter Jackson
Uncle Tom's Cabin
Beecher Stowe, Harriett
Henderson the Rain King
The Adventures of Augie March
The Life & Times of the Last Kid Picked
The Old Wives' Tale
An Invisible Sign of My Own
SHEM CREEK A Lowcountry Tale
Benton Frank, Dorothea
Open House A Novel
THE ART OF MENDING
Berry & Traeder
Clare Booth Luce
Booth Luce, Clare
TECHNOLOGY AND THE CHARACTER OF CONTEMPORARY LIFE
The Death of the Heart
GABRIEL DU PRE mystery series
The Sheltering Sky
The Emperors of Chocolate
Brenner, Joel Glenn
If I Never Get Back
The Greatest Generation
A Walk in the Woods
The Souls of Black Folk
On Her Own Ground
A Clockwork Orange
The Way of All Flesh
Butler & Pritchett
Cady Stanton, Elizabeth
The Wake of the Wind
California Cooper, J
The Wealthy Spirit
In Cold Blood : A True Account of a Multiple Murder and ItsConsequences
The Power Broker : Robert Moses and the Fall of New York
Life Al Dente
Death Comes for the Archbishop
The Wapshot Chronicle
The House of Morgan : An American Banking Dynasty and the Riseof Modern Finance
THE LADY AND THE UNICORN
Second World War
Good Words to You
What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day
Children of Crisis
My Brother Sam Is Dead
Collier, James Lincoln
Collier, James Lincoln
Conrad & Watts
Heart of Darkness
The Secret Agent : A Simple Tale
The Miracle Strain
The Skating Pond
Corey, Deborah Joy
The Chocolate War
Point of Origin
Generation X: Tales for an Acclerated Culture
by Herbert Croly
Cruz Smith, Martin
The Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language
The Chili Queen
Flappers 2 Rappers, American Youth Slang
The Strange Death of Liberal England
Dangerfield & Stanksy
Breath, Eyes, Memory
THE DEW BREAKER
For Matrimonial Purposes
The Bone Collector
The Day the World Came to Town
Philosophy and Civilization
Fifth Life of the Catwoman
I am Madame X
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
Out of Africa and Shadows on the Grass
SWEET LAND STORIES
Your Money or Yor Life
Dominquez & Robin
The Ginger Man
The Sherlock Holms Mysteries
Doyle, Arthur Conan
The Rescue Season
Drury 363.3481 D
Peter Bowen series
The Three Musketeers
Duncan, David James
Welcome to Higsby
The Alexandria Quartet : Justine/Balthazar/Mountolive/Clea
Easton Ellis, Bret
The Mill on the Floss
Ely, Leanne 641.5622 E
Love Medicine Erdrich
Edison and The Electric Chair
A Treasury of Great American Scandals
Studs Lonigan : A Trilogy
Farrell & Fanning
As I Lay Dying : The Corrected Text
The Sound and the Fury : The Corrected Text
Horned Animal Party
BRIDGET JONES' DIARY
Crossing Brooklyn Ferry
Tender Is the Night
Fitzgerald, F Scott
Fitzgerald, F Scott
Listening to America
PILLARS OF THE EARTH
The Civil War : A Narrative
Ford, Madox Ford
Foster Wallace, David
Fox Maxer, Norma
Frazer, James George
Great War and Modern Memory
A Lesson Before Dying
A Lesson Before Dying
The Affluent Society
Galbraith, John Kenneth
Business @ the Speed of Thought
A Virtuous Woman
ECOLES DES FEMMES ('The school for wives')
Tales of the Female Nomad
Golden Gelman, Rita
Memoirs of a Geisha
Lord of the Flies by William Gerald Golding
Golding, William Gerald
Gould, Stephan J.
Mismeasure of Man
Gould, Stephen J
Not All Tarts Are Apple
I, Claudius : From the Autobiography of Tiberius Claudius
Good-Bye to All That : An Autobiography
Fire In the Turtle House
Gray Davidson, Osha
The Heart of the Matter
Loving/Living/Party Going/3 Books in One Volume
The Street Lawyer
Oldest Living Confederate Widow
The Taming of Chance
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
Sam: The Boy Behind the Mask
A Map of the World
The Book of Ruth
The Maltese Falcon
I Could Tell You Stories, Sojourns in the Land of Memory
A Dictionary of Surnames
Hankes & Hodges
A Mathematician's Apology
The Proper Study of Mankind : An Anthology of Essays
Abide with Me
Harrison, E Lynn
Science - A Brief History of Time
The House of the Seven Gables
Hayden Herrera, Frida
Mother of Pearl
The Transit of Venus
Stones from the River
Sun Also Rises
A Farewell to Arms
The Facts on File Word and Phrase Origins
THE LIGHTED PATH
THE LIGHTED PATH
The Happiness Code
King Leopold's Ghost
Here on Earth
American Political Tradition and the Men Who Made It
Hong Kingston, Maxine
Religion - The Reed of God
High, Wide & Handsome
High Wind in Jamaica
The Lady In Kicking Horse Reservoir
Their Eyes Were Watching God
Hurston, Zora Neale
Brave New World
Brave New World
Point Counter Point
The Sketch Book
The Frontier in American History
Jackson Turner, Frederick
The Golden Bowl
The Wings of the Dove
Dancing with the Witch Doctor
Varities of Religious Experiences
Feel the Fear
History - Intellectuals
The Elements of Mentoring
Johnson & Ridley
Never so Green
From Here to Eternity
Fear of Flying
A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man
The Perfect Storm
UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN
Love It Don't Leave It 26 Ways to Get What You Want at Work
Kaye, Beverly & Jordan-Evans, Sharon
The Face of Battle
Ironweed : A Novel
Kennedy, William J
On the Road
Journal of the Dead
Sushi for Beginners
The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money
Keynes, John Maynard
Why We Can't Wait
King, Martin Luther
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
The Poisonwood Bible
Sex, Lies and Cocoa Puffs
Darkness at Noon
Swimmer in the Secret Sea
The Structure of Scientific Revolutions
Kuhn, Thomas S
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
The Seventh Tomb of Monte Alban
Kyle Madsen, Mildred
I Know This Much Is True & She's Come Undone
Operating Instructions : A Journal of My Son's First Year
Sons and Lovers
Women in Love
Lawrence, DH et al
THE MOLD IN DR. FLOREY'S COAT
Girls in Trouble
Single & Single
The Canal House
Six Easy Pieces : Essentials of Physics Explained by Its MostBrilliant Teacher
Food & Loathing
The Disappointment Artis
Where the Heart Is
The Periodic Table
NYT Home Repair Almanac
A Preface to Morals
Call of the Wild
Under the Volcano
Alien in the Mirror
A River Runs Through It
No Great Mischief
THE SHOP ON BLOSSOM STREET
Mailer Anderson, Robert
The Naked and the Dead
A House for Mr. Biswas
The Journalist and the Murderer
SERVING CRAZY WITH CURRY
Jefferson, the Virginian (Jefferson and His Time, Vol 1)
West With the Night
Cien Anos de Soledad
Marquez, G Garcia
THE HILLS OF TUSCANY
Law of the Buy In
Lay that Trumpet in Our Hands
A Giant's House
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter
The Great Bridge : The Epic Story of the Building of theBrooklyn Bridge
Child of My Heart
Songs in Ordinary Time
McGarry Morris, Mary
The Cadence of Grass
Story: Substance, Structure, Style & The Principles of Screenwriting
My Father’s Ghost
McKee Chamas, Suzy
A New Kind of Christian
THE MEMORY OF RUNNING
Rim of the Weeds
The Rise of the West : A History of the Human Community
Battle Cry of Freedom : The Civil War Era
The Age of Jackson
American Language, Supplement One
Middleton & Rowley
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay
Like Being Killed
Tropic of Cancer
While I Was Gone
Misner & Thorne & Wheeler
A Fine Balance
The Deep End of the Ocean
A Cup of Light
Lies of Silence
Island of the Sequined Love Nun.
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
The Midwife's Tale
Moran Laskas, Gretchen
A Passage to India
Morgan Forster, Edward
A Room With a View
Morgan Forster, Edward
Aspects of the Novel
Morgan Forster, Edward
Morgan Forster, Edward
Gap Creek The Story of a Marriage
The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt
Paradise and Song of Solomon
Stones in the Summer
The City in History
Under the Net
Myers, Walter Dean
An American Dilemma : The Negro Problem and Modern Democracy
Nabokov, Vladimeir Vladimirovich
Nabokov, Vladimeir Vladimirovich
Speak, Memory : An Autobiography Revisited
Nabokov, Vladimeir Vladimirovich
A Bend in the River
Science and Civilization in China : Chemistry and ChemicalTechnology
Autobiography of Mark Twain
On Sarpy Creek
Heather Has Two Mommies
The Time Traveler's Wife
We Were the Mulvaneys
Oates, Joyce Carol
Buffalo for the Broken Heart
Back Roads A Novel
Autobiographies (Collected Works of W.B. Yeats, Vol 3)
Appointment in Samarra
Fly Fishing The River of Second Chances
The English Patient.
Long Days Journey into Night
9 Steps to Financial Freedom
The Courage to Be Rich
Animal Farm : A Fairy Story
Homage to Catalonia
THE DISTANCE BETWEEN
THE BOOK OF SECRETS
The Schooling of Claybird Catts
All Over Creation
P. Levi La Tregua
The Gnostic Gospels
Studies in Iconology Humanistic Themes in the Art
Lawrence in Oaxaca
U.S.A. : The 42nd Parallel, 1919, the Big Money
The Magician's Assistant
When the Wind Blows
The dictionary of the Khazar
Youth in Revolt
All the King's Men
Penn Warren, Robert
Penn Warren, Robert
Philosophy - The Emperor's New Mind
The Moviegoer by Walker Percy
Perec, La vie, G
Susan Beth Pfeffer
Pfeffer, Susan Beth
My Sister's Keeper
The Open Society and Its Enemies : The Spell of Plato
Popper, Karl Raimund
A Dance to the Music of Time : First Movement
Heart of the Indigenous Soul
T. Pynchon Gravity's Rainbow
I Thee Wed
Black and Blue
Blue Moon Circus
The Castle of the Flynn’s
A Theory of Justice
Wild Card Quilt
The Kingfisher’s Call
The Story Teller
Cadillac Desert : The American West and Its Disappearing Water
Reynolds Naylor, Phyllis
The Rapture of Canaan
The Making of the Atomic Bomb
Vittorio, the Vampire
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
The Ground beneath her feet
The Catcher in the Rye
Drowning Ruth A Novel
Ideas and Opinions
A Midsummer Night's Dream
A Bright Shining Lie : John Paul Vann and America in Vietnam
The Pilot's Wife
Do What You Love
Aging with Grace
Of Human Bondage
Somerset Maugham, W
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
The Gate of Heavenly Peace : The Chinese and Their Revolution1895-1980
AN UNFINISHED LIFE
The Fifth Sacred Thing
Angle of Repose
Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas
Of Mice and Men
The Grapes of Wrath
All Too Human
Steward & Bethea
Driving Over Lemons
I Sleep at Red Lights
Elements of Style
Darkness Visible : A Memoir of Madness
Religion and the Rise of Capitalism
Memoirs - To School Through the Fields
Working : People Talk About What They Do All Day and How TheyFeel About What They Do
The Lives of a Cell : Notes of a Biology Watcher
On Growth and Form
Thompson, D'Arcy Wentworth
Making of the English Working Class
PIRATES OF PENSACOLA
Toole, John Kennedy
Sam Casey books
A Study of History
The Liberal Imagination : Essays on Literature and Society
The Guns of August
The Song Reader
These is My Words
The Strange Career of Jim Crow
Vann Woodward, Comer
Value in the Valley
One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
Yesterday I Cried
von Ebner-Eschenbach, Marie
Expect the Unexpected
Von Oech, Roger
Crusade : A Duty Dance With Death
Cat's Cradle and Galapagos
The Color Purple
Warren, Patricia Nell
The Double Helix : A Personal Account of the Discovery of theStructure of DNA
A Handful of Dust
Ashes of Victory
Daddy Long Legs
The Devil Wears Prada
Winter in the Blood & Fool's Crow
Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
Dictionary of American Slang
Wentworth & Flexner
The Day of the Locust
Black Lamb and Grey Falcon : A Journey Through Yugoslavia
The Age of Innocence
The House of Mirth
An Avelanche of Anoracks
Principia Mathematica to 56
Whitehead & Russell
Winner of the National Book Award
Patriotic Gore : Studies in the Literature of the American CivilWar
Professor and Madman
THE PROFESSOR AND THE MADMAN
Good Hope Road
Ten Perfect Fingers
How to Make a Living Without a Job
The Passion or Written on the Body
In the American Grain
Wlliams, Carlos William
The Right Stuff
This Boy's Life : A Memoir
Wollstonecraft Shelly, Mary
Florence Nightingale : 1820-1910
Under the Lake
A Room of One's Own
To the Lighthouse
Wide Sargasso Sea
Wyndham & Rhys
Art of Memory
Banker to the Poor
Secrets of the Talking Jaguar: A Mayan shaman's Journey to the
Shadow and Act
Snow Falling on Cedars
Social Science - Slouching Towards Gomorrah
The Rooms of Heaven?
Almanac of the Dead Silko
Art and Illusion : A Study in the Psychology of PictorialRepresentation
BHG New Complete Guide to Home Repair
Biography - Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Black Hawk Down.
Blind Mans Bluff
Classical Mechanics by Herbert Goldstein.
Confederacy of Dunces
Count of Monte Christo
Fannie Calderon De La Barca
Harold Bloom's Shakespeare
In The Meantime
Knolls Medicine for MT Wilderness
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Never be lied to again
The Splendor of Truth (JPII)
Places I Never Meant To Be: Original Stories by Censored Writers.
Poetry - Occulta (Plunkett)
Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man
Princess –Jean Sasson
Rodeo Queen History
Success With Words
The Road To Wellville
The Bible According to Einstein
The Black Book of Communism
The Invention of The Human
The Millionaire Next Door
The Mirror and the Lamp : Romantic Theory and the CriticalTradition
The Name of the rose
The Nature and Destiny of Man : A Christian Interpretation
The Oxford English Dictionary
The Postman Always Rings Twice
The Spiritual Chick’s Question Everything _Red Wheel
The Sunday Wife
Webster's Word Histopries
Yellow raft on Blue Water
Here it is.
I know you didn't believe a purse existed big enough to contain all the items in my previous post. But here it is. Notice the sexy silver trim. Sparkle is all the rage this season. And the funky flowered lining... it ain't paisley but almost.
I just got the rescue remedy stuff... it is supposed to calm you. Tranquilize me, Baby.
Can I say again how much I love Neutrogena Nail Enhancer?
But now, what you've all been waiting for (drum roll please)....
Homestead's lip gloss and book list....
Lip Gloss #1 is Mabelline Wet Shine Diamonds. Dumb name, great gloss. Mine is pink diamonds. #55. Sexy. Understated. Makes Sweet Boy sparkle when I kiss his head.
Lip Gloss #2 is Mary Kay Signature Bronzing Lip Gloss Duo in Mango/Mist. I love it. I think it was part of the summer collection. Ok, I'll admit.....I bought it when a friend had a MK party and I felt obligated to go. It was $16.50 which is way more than I would normally spend on an entire outfit... let alone one lip gloss. But it has lasted a long time and it looks great... and it has a little mirror in the lid which I love. (Note to any of you who run out and get this stuff... there is a little lip brush in the compact between the two gloss shades... it took me a while to figure that out...actually I had to read it on the bottom of the compact to figure it out...) I also love the MK lip liner in neutral. Ok, end of endorsement. Oh wait... one more thing.... Jill is a MK gal if you don't have one locally. Now, truly, end of endorsement.
My book list... oh my, are you sure you want this? I have to find it on the computer so I'll post it later today... or tomorrow.....
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Wallet (small one…. So I can carry it in the pocket of my fleece if I’m just running into the video store or something.)
Plastic horse & Matchbox racecar (What do you play with in the checkout line? Oh, THAT’s when you people are reading magazine covers and learning that Britney had her baby…. I still don’t know what that kid’s name is… and I’m embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to find out what’s-her-name is having a kid with that annoying guy from Top Gun.)
Dino-crackers (I don’t usually have these in my purse… they go in the console of the car.)
Neutrogena nail enhancer (I love this stuff.)
Sometimes a daytimer
Fold up fan (this is actually for my menopausal friend, but it comes in pretty handy sometimes…. Here on the frozen tundra things tend not to be air-conditioned… ever.)
Little pink zipper bag (lip gloss, spare car keys, ponytail holder, stamp cards (coffee & such), library reading list, phone list & my fishing license)
Medium orange zipper bag… these are the coolest mesh bags…. Got them at Target… they are a pencil holder set. (travel tissues, fold-up hair brush, travel lotion, travel hand sanitizer, tiny baggie of Advil/Tylenol/Excedrin, nail file, lip gloss, tampons, gum, breath mints, Shout wipes, tiny sewing kit, Immodium, decongestant, antacid, tiny sunscreen, moist wipes, bandaids, duct tape) Wow. That’s a lot of shit in a tiny bag.
Oh, and on the subject of diaper bags…. We have 4.
The car bag: In the trunk. Emergency stuff. It’s the bag we got free from the hospital.
The daycare bag: The daily stuff. Baggie of drugs (that sounds bad... better clarify... Deej's tylenol, advil, teething tablets, gas drops, benedryl, etc), swim trunks in summer, mittens/hat in winter, extra outfit, extra shoes, spare paci.
The swim bag: floaties, goggles, swim diapers, sunscreen in summer, lotion, body wash, regular diapers, towels, swim suit, change to “rent” a towel when we forget ours, plastic bag for wet stuff, membership card, jammies to put on after swimming.
The Patagonia bag: The best diaper bag from the Pata-guchi outlet in Dillon, MT. It is a narrow rectangle one-strap that goes across the body but not-really-a-messenger bag that goes everywhere. Three compartments and a sunglasses case/cell phone holder on the strap. It fits under the bleachers at football games, under the seat in an airplane, in the grandstands at a rodeo and I can pack a ton of stuff in it. Love it. And it is sexy enough for Hot Stuff to carry.
Monday, October 31, 2005
October 2005 will go down in Homestead history as the month of the ruddy bottom. Really. I think the low point was this morning at the doctor’s office when I told the receptionist he looked like a baboon in heat. Family Services will be calling. Actually, I have a question about that…. My son currently looks like what I THOUGHT a neglected baby that hasn’t had a diaper change in a week or so looks like…. So what do neglected babies who REALLY haven’t had their weekly diaper change look like? Must be some kind of awful. Poor baby is getting greased & floured like a tiny little bundt pan on a regular basis (actually, now that I think about it… his butt is the same shade as my red silicone bundt pan.) Here, in no particular order, are things this month has made me thankful for…
1. Aveeno Bath Soak.
2. Color-safe bleach. (I can’t just let him run around naked… what if he unloads on my carpet? So I put him in sweat pants naked-bottomed and he pees in them… better a GIANT load of “soiled” kid clothes than a corner-the-cat-keeps-sniffing-suspiciously.)
3. Plastic toy elk, deer & moose. (How else do you get a kid to stay in the tub for 20 minutes twice a day?)
4. Sweet Boy’s wanker. (How he entertains himself in the tub when he isn’t busy with the wildlife.)
5. The nurse “working us in” for an appointment.
6. Benadryl meltaways. (The only thing that helped him sleep on Saturday night.)
7. Numbing crotch spray… you know…. The stuff the doc tells you to get for post-partum.
8. Corn starch.
9. All those months and months of no diaper rash.
10. Our daycarista. She let him “air it out” in the linoleum play area and carefully monitored what he was eating, drinking and pooing.
11. Monostat. Because nothing says funny like the look on the face of a teenage checker when you slap a box of cooch cream and a tube of industrial strength diaper stuff on the counter. (I really should have stocked up on astroglide, gerbil flea spray & enemas while I was there….)
12. My hairdryer. Seriously, it hasn’t been turned on in years until now.
13. Hot Stuff. He took more than half of the diaper changes. Nothing says love like a baby running from a diaper and hiding behind his toybox.
14. Towels right out of the dryer. (Is there anything cuter than a smiling little face with big round eyes all wrapped up in a fluffy purple towel? When you are soaking and airing twice a day you get a lot of towel time.)
15. Giggling with my mom over the tube of monostat in my purse.
16. Squeezed lemons. (Because just drinking water & milk when you can’t have juice is boring.)
17. Tall, skinny babies. If he was chubby he’d be in a size 4 diaper and, well, those are more expensive….
18. Mupirocin ointment (Bactroban)
19. Sweet natured kids. A tear-streaked baby patting daddy’s hand saying, “nice da-dee” after a wicked diaper change tears your heart. If it doesn’t, you are a cold, dead fish.
20. Broadwater Athletic Club and Hot Springs. For some reason the pool there did not turn him into a squealing mess… and he actually healed up a little… amen for the power of natural hot water.
21. A best friend who is a nurse... and who doesn't mind if your kid whizzes on her carpet.
22. Fun tub toys. (Read: monostat applicators.)
23. The light at the end of the tunnel. If he isn’t better by Friday the doc promises to do a butt transplant.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Does this photo even need a post? The poor kid doesn't stand a chance, does he? And, for the record, he likes Eastman's Bowhunting Journal better than the rifle version.
Also for the record... Rifle season opened Sunday. Hot Stuff has only hunted one rifle day so far and my freezer is still empty. Here's hoping something delicious ends up in there in the next few weeks. I like elk. I don't mind deer (love deer sausage if it is done right). I don't like antelope. Ew. Prairie goats. Ew.
Hunting season is a topic for much discussion and a lot of Redneck jokes. I can't tell you the number of camo-wearing people I've seen (or sort-of seen... it is camo after all) in the last week. I was sporting my army-camo pants on Saturday in honor of the weekend.... although mine came from the clearance section of Target and setting a mouse trap is about the most blood-n-guts they will see. Hot Stuff loves to get out in the woods. He isn't so in love with killing things so he usually comes home empty-handed but his directions this season are "fill the freezer or eat rice all year." Hot Stuff loves him some rice, but every once in a while a boy needs some protein and, frankly, we just can't afford to buy meat (if that is what you call that disgusting product in cellophane & styrofoam that you can buy) at the store.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
A few weeks ago while driving to work I noticed a shoe in the median. I laughed to myself and thought of LadyBug and her post about why there is always only one shoe and wondering what the story was. (I'd link that post but I'm just too lazy.... Go see LadyBug... her info is somewhere in my comments... she's damn funny & writes the sweetest letters to Big Boy.)
So every day I see the shoe and think about LadyBug and toss a few good thoughts her way (and a carefree "fuck" or two because she knows I swear when I care...) but about 2 weeks ago I noticed the shoe was gone. (Why did I notice this? Well, I notice these kinds of things.)
This afternoon I was driving to town and GUESS WHAT??? Another shoe. (Different style... not the mate... I know you were wondering....) How crazy is that? I got shivers. Obviously I am supposed to be thinking about LadyBug right now. So, honey, I'm thinking about you. I know things are bleak in your world and you are feeling a little raw but you have a bunch of dopey bloggers thinking about you and now some cosmic power keeps tossing out shoes for you....
Ya gotta be feelin' the love....
Friday, October 21, 2005
The Montana Meth Project.
It took me about half my vacation time to realize that NO OTHER STATES have these ads on tv or radio. Check out the 5 tv spots. What do you think? Too graphic? Dead on? We see them every night on Channel 12. And the billboards & the radio spots.
Do other states have the problem with meth that we have? It is a big deal here. Hot Stuff goes through annual training to learn how to identify a meth lab and what to do. A lot of the labs are in the back woods and the "slag" is very explosive... not to mention the lab owners.... hopped up, tweaked out and armed.
And, with that, I'm outta here.... a fun-filled weekend of work in Billings... back later next week.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Lala says I'm the only person she knows who can call folding someone else's husband's underwear vacation. I have skills like that.
Sweet Boy loved the baby moose and taking off in the plane. The trip home was made ever-so-sweet courtesy of half a benadryl meltaway.... I'm sure the runny nose was all about teething and he didn't really NEED the benadryl but still.... a napping child makes for happy travel companions.
We went to "Pump It Up" in Colorado Springs. Been there? No, it isn't a workout place. It's full of inflatable toys. (Remind me to tell ya'll the story of googling "inflatable toys" at work while trying to find blow-up swimming pools in October to put drinks in to chill.....) Anyway. Once I got over my paranoia that the front desk guy worked a second job at Pediphiles-R-Us we had a really great time sliding on the big slide and racing around the bouncy-track like little road runners. I recommend it to all.
The down-part (besides leaving Lala & Little at the airport) was (yet again) failing in my mission to get "Mother of the Year." Yes, people, you will be seeing my real name on Parents Behaving Badly for.... wait for it.... LOCKING MY SON IN THE CAR.
Can you say "Oh my Fucking HELL" with me?
Fortunately, the Lala-husband unit was quick with the spare key and Sweet Boy was not buckled into the car seat. He actually got out of the car seat, crawled in the front seat, got his paci out of the diaper bag, and (after he got over his confusion) was playing with the steering wheel.... LOCKED IN THE CAR. I have never been so fucking horrified in my life. AND I had many family witnesses there.... so it has to go in the Christmas letter or someone will call me out on it.... I am just going to add a paypal button here for all of you who would like to donate to Sweet Boy's therapy fund. LOCKED IN THE CAR.
Friday, October 07, 2005
My mama is taking me on a big bird tomorrow. I am very excited. I get to sit on her lap the whole way. She's been away for work a few days and I'm very excited to spend some quality time with her. We are going to visit my Auntie Lala and her family. Her kids are Big, Middle & Little. Little & I plan to speak Taiwanese to each other and drive our trucks in the sand box.
I'm gonna smile really nice at the flight attendant and see if if she will sneak me unlimited amounts of apple juice and maybe a cookie or two.
Mama has threatened me with the sticky orange stuff if I be naughty. So I promise to be very, very good. She says she has some special treats for on the plane. I hope they are markers. I love markers. Or maybe a baby moose. I have a baby deer but I really need a baby moose. I'm going to wear my overalls and I need a baby moose to put in the front pocket.
Mama is packing for us now and I really need to go supervise.... otherwise she might forget my blue baseball cap. I need that.
Until next time....
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Monday, October 03, 2005
Putting that bachelor of arts in biology to use program directing and instructing at a martial arts school in California. In great shape but lonely and bored as hell.
5 Years Ago
In love. So in love. Still in love.
1 Year Ago
I hate pumping at work. I hate working. I wonder what Sweet Boy is doing?
Painting. And more painting. And cleaning. And raking. And, all the while, being assisted by the tiny dictator.
5 Snacks I Enjoy
Crackers & cheese
Park Ave Bakery treats
5 Songs I Know All the Words To
My Little Potato
Yeah, I usually make up my own words…
5 Things I’d Do with 100 Million Dollars
Remodel the house
Open a bottomless charge account for Hot Stuff at Capital Sports
Set up educational trusts for Sweet Boy & my nieces
Create a trust to give small one-time awards to Montana residents to buy college text books… no financial or age or institution requirements…. Just a tiny boost to as many individuals as possible. The application will have one requirement, “Tell us how you intend to “pay it forward” in kindness.”
Buy really expensive cheese
5 Places I’d Run Away To
The Oregon coast
Down by the creek
The Canadian border
Big Hole River
5 Things I’d Never Wear
anything that needs to be ironed
colored socks (unless they are holiday ones… I have a special thing for holiday ones)
busy prints (unless maybe it was cammo?!?)
peach anything… coral is good… peach makes me look deathly
a blonde wig (ok, just that one time….)
5 Favorite TV Shows
Cleopatra 2525 (this kills my husband)
Vegas (I just really like the clothes)
Sometimes I wish we had cable or satelite
5 Biggest Joys
Riding a horse really well (ok, I’m still waiting for that to be consistent but I have small moments of true joy)
A perfect bit of dark chocolate with a glass of good red wine
5 Favorite Toys
Compound target bow (that I don’t own yet)
Susan asked if we have Starbucks. Hey, we might not have indoor plumbing… but we have Starbucks. THREE of them last I counted…. In a town with a population of about 25,000. The only storefront you can see more often is, maybe, Verizon Wireless dealers. Seriously.
I love Starbucks but, on principle, try to avoid them…. At least in Helena. There are a couple very fabulous independent coffee places in town and I try to do the right thing and support local. (This is the “don’t shit in your own back yard” theory of Redneckology. I’ll drink Starbucks in any other town….)
If you are driving Hwy 12 stop at the little coffee shack by the “Knight’s Rest” motel. I’m not even going to comment on the “Knight’s Rest” but amazingly good coffee and they give you a little mini donut too…. Such a deal. And if you are downtown go to Fire Tower Coffee or Morning Light Coffee or Park Avenue Bakery… I’ll meet you there.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Based on my limited understand, I though hurricanes were named alternately male & female. Then each season starts with the alternate gender (I love saying alternate gender) from the previous year.
So why isn’t Rita named Reggie?
Let’s look at this, shall we:
Is Rita a male name in some cultures? Is it just too hard to come up with enough "Q" names? And who decides those names anyway?
Thursday, September 29, 2005
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.
And so I give you this tidbit of fabulous writing:
She has big sexy hair but I know the reason she really loves being a cowgirl is never having to shave her legs.....
I tag Susan, Cheryl, M&Co., Sierrabella & Mary P. (sorry, too lazy to link right now.)
Monday, September 26, 2005
The biggest class we have in Montana is Double A.
I graduated from a Class C school. Do you know what that means?
1. There were 8 in my graduating class (no, not 800 or 80). And, yes, I do know where they all are today. 2 of them are reading this right now and laughing.
2. We played 6-man football. That's right. It's like basketball with helmets.
3. I had the same history/govt teacher from the 7th grade-12th grade.
4. One of my classmates got hung on a hook in the gym by the teacher in 2nd grade. (Just wanted to share that...)
5. Most of the kids I graduated with I went to kindergarten with... or met when our school consolidated with the next town over when I was in the 4th grade.
6. The schools all just consolidated again this year.
7. I was related to a lot of kids in my school.
8. I didn't date much. (But not just because I was related to everyone.... that wouldn't stop a true Redneck from dating....)
9. The school pretty much shut down during tournament time.
10. I got to wave to my sister at lunch every day when she was in kintergarden and I was in high school. I threw things at my brother... he was in junior high.
11. My teachers often called me by my aunt's name.
12. My brother passed Senior English based on the fact that "all those (my family) kids are good at English."
13. He almost failed math due to the exact same reasoning.
14. I still get twitchy and worry that people are watching me when I go back to that little town.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
I'm pleased to report it is a lovely film and everyone enjoyed it..... even Sweet Boy.....who waved at each and every plane in the first 30 minutes and said, "Bye Guys!" Then he went to bed.
The in-laws came down with homemade pizza & I made some seriously chocolate cookies. Add a few beers (for the pizza) and some tea (for the cookies) and you have the makings of a really nice evening.
Tonight's pick.... Friday Night Lights.
We have a thing for football movies. Slaughter Rule. That one with Titans in the title and Denzel. Ok, I will admit... I had some problems "suspending reality" for Slaughter Rule.... there are several serious problems with the movie in general and it should have been more carefully researched. Anybody else see it? Know what I'm talking about?
I'm not sure if It's a Small World or Dueling Banjos is more appropriate here.....
Friday, September 23, 2005
Ok. Picture me (please picture me sleek & attractive & fun). I'm in the end stall of the bathroom in an airport in a major city.... an adaptor is snaking out of the stall and plugged into the ONLY wall outlet in the bathroom. A black bag containing a strange machine is hanging off the edge of the bathroom stall (why does THIS bathroom not have that handy hook on the back of the door?) and emitting an odd chugging sound. I'm STANDING in the stall (doing yoga poses & deep breathing to pass the time) praying no one is going to alert security about the bomb-machine in the concourse D bathroom. Yes, my serene & speedy pumping session was frequently interupted by the "gahwhoosh" of the fraggin' auto-toilets.
File this one under "the things we do for love."