Tuesday, December 20, 2005

You know that part in “Runaway Bride”….

The part where he asks all the ex’s how the bride likes her eggs and everyone gives a different answer…. And they all happen to be the way THEY like their eggs?

That’s me.

And, I’ve discovered, I’m not alone.

A friend of mine & I have been discussing this over email. We would discuss it in person but we are the same about that too…. We are good friends but being good friends means being ok with the fact that time is a precious thing…. We don’t have the time or the energy to get together as often as we would like. And that is too bad. But at least we know that and are honest about it.

We were discussing holiday traditions and all. We are both the oldest of several children (me-3, her-4) and our childhood has very similar dysfunctions. And we both handle situations the same way…. Almost to the point of scary. Lots of planning and lists but many built-in options for flexibility or plan-changing. We are both very smart & very practical. We are both shy but self-assured… which often comes across as aloof. We are both mediators in our families. We both value family very much and almost always sacrifice our own happiness for the “common good” of the family. We both suffer from stomach ailments or “weak” stomachs… gee, think that has anything to do with being the mediators instead of the screamers?? At 2:00 am after a stressful day or event you will find either one of us, sleepless, scrubbing the grout around the toilet with a toothbrush or alphabetizing the spice rack. And yet, most people who know us would say we are “laid-back” and would only use the term “anal” if they saw my carefully labeled and organized medicine cupboard or looked in my container-lid drawer.

We were never close in school. Circumstances beyond our control made the kids in my class very self-reliant and close with each other but beyond that I was never much of a one for friends. I lived too far from town and things were too strict or strange at my house…. Nothing horrible or unspeakable…. Just the usual FUN in dysfunctional.

Talking with her this week has been a fascinating exploration of myself. We agree on so many things and can see our own behaviors & defenses in the other person….. scary, but reassuring too.

I don’t know where I was going with this but I guess I’ll finish by saying it is nice to know I’m not alone in the many facets of my personality.

2 comments:

M&Co. said...

Actually in many ways you describe me, right down to that fun in dysFUNctional.

Mary P. said...

Hey! I'm the oldest of three, and I, too, have stomach problems! Coincidence?

Sadly, I seem to have utterly escaped the anal tendencies. My house could use some of that. So next time you're awake at 2 amand you run out of grout? Head east! I'll be waiting.