Monday, December 12, 2005

Redneck Medicine

*I said this over at Friday Playdate and I'm saying it again.....

Screw the tylenol. If you are truly sick go with Theraflu & Wild Turkey.

You think I'm kidding, don't you?

Put on your jammies & sit on the edge of the bed and drink it down in a few big gulps.... because if you aren't on the edge of the bed you WILL NOT make it to bed and will wake up several days later passed out on the floor with Captain Crunch stuck to the side of your face.... oh wait, that's a different story.....

Maybe you would recover in that passed-out time period even if you were awake... but it is so much more pleasant to be dead-unconscious.

Uncle Mo (not really my uncle) swears by it and says it MUST be Wild Turkey. We don't keep Wild Turkey around the house (it causes Hot Stuff to do an unfortunate thing called the "Turkey Dance" and, especially after that one video, we just don't want that) but I've found that Black Velvet works just as well.... don't waste any of the good stuff on this (Oh lordy... I can hear my brother stepping up on his soap box now to remind me the QUALITY that is BV....) because it really does taste like.... hmmm, words are evading me here.... it tastes like mentholated lemon-flavored rocket fuel. But damn if it doesn't work.

Go ahead... try Redneck Medicine. You'll like it.

4 comments:

McSwain said...

My ex's entire family swore by an Everclear concoction. They'd burn brown sugar and mix it with Everclear, then take it for anything. Even stomach ulcers. I suppose that stuff could make you forget you were feeling sick (along with everything else).

Felicity said...

I almost want to get sick, just to try this. I love being passed out cold. It's the only time the guilt goes away.

Susan said...

I want to say, for the record, that I do NOT think you are kidding. I am fairly certain that you or someone in your family has actually tried this.

And it's one of the things I love about you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go chug some NyQuil.

Homestead said...

Cheryl- I've had some wicked everclear fruit... but never with brown sugar or as a tonic. I used to know a guy who sipped Southern Comfort for every ailment. Oh, and I had a pal in college who made the best lemon throat tonic... I think it was hot lemon juice, honey & vodka actually....

Felicity- Pretty much all medicine either knocks me out or makes me all jittery.... especially interesting when alcohol is added.

Susan- Of course I've tried this! Do you think I would be so negligent as to give out untested advice? Redneck medicine... it's all about booze and a mustard plaster.