Showing posts with label Babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Babies. Show all posts
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Longest Mile
Here's what you forget about the end of pregnancy...
.... You can't call anyone. Every phone call I make these days is answered with a breathless, "Hello... are you at the hospital?"
Um, no.
People I have a whole 'nother WEEK until my due date. At least. I'm not one of you early-Bessies. I go late. Days late. So chill out. (Watch me hatch tonight....)
In other news... I feel good. Way good. Too good. Not normal. No swelling, no puffiness, no weight gain (wait... should I be worried about that?), no major pains (although I am getting that "baby is low" strange nerve stuff once in a while). My back doesn't even hurt (although I feel I paid my dues in hip pain from the ankle sprain in February that lasted for months....) I have ankles. I have some strange brown freckles on my face but no real "mask" at this point. I'm still wearing my wedding ring (ok, yes, the larger band and not the rock but still....) I'm having contractions regularly but no regular contractions.... does that make sense? Doctor appt this afternoon. I'll keep you posted.
.... You can't call anyone. Every phone call I make these days is answered with a breathless, "Hello... are you at the hospital?"
Um, no.
People I have a whole 'nother WEEK until my due date. At least. I'm not one of you early-Bessies. I go late. Days late. So chill out. (Watch me hatch tonight....)
In other news... I feel good. Way good. Too good. Not normal. No swelling, no puffiness, no weight gain (wait... should I be worried about that?), no major pains (although I am getting that "baby is low" strange nerve stuff once in a while). My back doesn't even hurt (although I feel I paid my dues in hip pain from the ankle sprain in February that lasted for months....) I have ankles. I have some strange brown freckles on my face but no real "mask" at this point. I'm still wearing my wedding ring (ok, yes, the larger band and not the rock but still....) I'm having contractions regularly but no regular contractions.... does that make sense? Doctor appt this afternoon. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Exam T minus 2+ weeks
You have got to go read Dooce. She's pregnant and due, um, any day now. Read the post when she talks about getting an internal exam.... I'm SO GLAD my experience is not her experience..... it hurt her. Now, I'm not saying it was a cake walk, but, seriously.... it takes about a minute and, well, he does use lube, right?
And then she says "the last 3 times she examed me" or something like that... and I go, "WHAT?" And then I go, "WHY????" Why all the coochie-looking? What does it tell you? Nothing. So why do it?
Internets, today was my first internal exam. (Ok, wait, yes... I had an exam at 27 weeks when I was contracting to get a "cervical baseline" in case it happened again... I also got an ultrasound then.) I am due in, what, 15-17 days? The only reason he did the exam was he had to do the strep b test so while he was down there he thought he'd root around a little more. I'm at 3cm. But I could have told you that.... the baby has dropped. I'm not at a waddle but I'm definitely at that place where when I try to stand up I can't lean forward in my chair if my knees are together... know what I mean?
Thank goodness I'm easy....... hee-hee.
And then she says "the last 3 times she examed me" or something like that... and I go, "WHAT?" And then I go, "WHY????" Why all the coochie-looking? What does it tell you? Nothing. So why do it?
Internets, today was my first internal exam. (Ok, wait, yes... I had an exam at 27 weeks when I was contracting to get a "cervical baseline" in case it happened again... I also got an ultrasound then.) I am due in, what, 15-17 days? The only reason he did the exam was he had to do the strep b test so while he was down there he thought he'd root around a little more. I'm at 3cm. But I could have told you that.... the baby has dropped. I'm not at a waddle but I'm definitely at that place where when I try to stand up I can't lean forward in my chair if my knees are together... know what I mean?
Thank goodness I'm easy....... hee-hee.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Prego Report
I'm due in about 2.5 weeks.... the 26th or 28th or so.
Interesting things of Note:
1. The swelling... or lack therof.... if fascinating. Is it me watching my sodium intake? Is it the cooler weather? Is it the amount of caffeine I'm allowing myself? I still have ankles.
2. The heartburn. I remember more heartburn with the other two... with #1 I even did the "put a couple of 2x4's under the head of the bed" thing. So far it has been minimal.... although eating chocolate late at night gets me every time.
3. I haven't been swimming. With the first two floating in warm water was required. I haven't put on the blue & green shamu suit a single time so far.
4. I'm not soaking in ice water yet.... but that may come next week. The little pink hospital tub with a tray of ice and some water was my most refreshing after work friend for #2.
5. Drinking water with lemon. I don't know if this is real or not but it seems like drinking water with lemon slices helps the swelling.... I don't know if the lemon has anything to do with it or if it is just the added water.
6. The weight. I haven't really gained all that much..... hmmm... but I DID start out pretty big.
7. Leg cramps. The last few days I've had some sort of restless leg syndrome that is only cured by MOVING. My hubby is no longer freaked out to come downstairs at 3 am and see me on the elliptical. Taking potassium and drinking milk seems to be an almost instant cure for the leg cramps I get in the evenings sometimes.
8. The belly officially requires sleep support. As of last week I have to snuggle with a pillow to support my belly in bed on my side.... My belly is kinda pointy so it needs extra support. I can still wake up flat on my back feeling like I'm not a pregnant woman at all in the mornings.
9. The braxton-hicks. Lordy. Combine that with two bladder infections and I think I've had more contractions already this pregnancy than I did with the last two combined deliveries....
10. Cravings. I'm not craving cream cheese & jalapeno jelly on wheat thins daily like I did with Tuff. I'm not having the really needy cravings for creamy foods and spicy foods but, mmmm, creamy and spicy sure does sound good.... With Sweet I craved salt and meat.... specifically deli meat and hot dogs. The only really odd craving I've had for #3 was for green onions.... I don't really LIKE green onions but I HAD to eat them. Silly baby.
Interesting things of Note:
1. The swelling... or lack therof.... if fascinating. Is it me watching my sodium intake? Is it the cooler weather? Is it the amount of caffeine I'm allowing myself? I still have ankles.
2. The heartburn. I remember more heartburn with the other two... with #1 I even did the "put a couple of 2x4's under the head of the bed" thing. So far it has been minimal.... although eating chocolate late at night gets me every time.
3. I haven't been swimming. With the first two floating in warm water was required. I haven't put on the blue & green shamu suit a single time so far.
4. I'm not soaking in ice water yet.... but that may come next week. The little pink hospital tub with a tray of ice and some water was my most refreshing after work friend for #2.
5. Drinking water with lemon. I don't know if this is real or not but it seems like drinking water with lemon slices helps the swelling.... I don't know if the lemon has anything to do with it or if it is just the added water.
6. The weight. I haven't really gained all that much..... hmmm... but I DID start out pretty big.
7. Leg cramps. The last few days I've had some sort of restless leg syndrome that is only cured by MOVING. My hubby is no longer freaked out to come downstairs at 3 am and see me on the elliptical. Taking potassium and drinking milk seems to be an almost instant cure for the leg cramps I get in the evenings sometimes.
8. The belly officially requires sleep support. As of last week I have to snuggle with a pillow to support my belly in bed on my side.... My belly is kinda pointy so it needs extra support. I can still wake up flat on my back feeling like I'm not a pregnant woman at all in the mornings.
9. The braxton-hicks. Lordy. Combine that with two bladder infections and I think I've had more contractions already this pregnancy than I did with the last two combined deliveries....
10. Cravings. I'm not craving cream cheese & jalapeno jelly on wheat thins daily like I did with Tuff. I'm not having the really needy cravings for creamy foods and spicy foods but, mmmm, creamy and spicy sure does sound good.... With Sweet I craved salt and meat.... specifically deli meat and hot dogs. The only really odd craving I've had for #3 was for green onions.... I don't really LIKE green onions but I HAD to eat them. Silly baby.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Parents Behaving Badly
Look what is in the news.....
Wasn't me.
But did I mention last week I got to see a very graphic demonstration of what it takes to give a kid shaken baby syndrome?
When you have a baby they make you watch two videos before you leave the hospital. One on infant cpr and one on shaken baby. We watched them both with Sweet. (Even though, um, Hot teaches cpr.... but a refresher for the pee-wee set never hurts, right?) With Tuff we LIED to the nurse and only watched the cpr one. The shaken baby video is that horrifying.
A few weeks ago in "class that isn't class" for baby school (Centering) a discussion came up about shaken baby and I was doing my blood pressure while it was going on. HIGH. I had to wait 20 min and try again to get a normal reading.... apparently that kind of thing upsets me.
So last week they cracked an egg and put it in an old cottage cheese container. The yoke was intact. Then they dropped it from what would be, oh, bed height. Yoke still intact. Then they shook it... just a few seconds. Ta-da. You've just demonstrated how to scramble your newborn's brain.
I know sometimes they make ya crazy.... don't shake 'em.
Wasn't me.
But did I mention last week I got to see a very graphic demonstration of what it takes to give a kid shaken baby syndrome?
When you have a baby they make you watch two videos before you leave the hospital. One on infant cpr and one on shaken baby. We watched them both with Sweet. (Even though, um, Hot teaches cpr.... but a refresher for the pee-wee set never hurts, right?) With Tuff we LIED to the nurse and only watched the cpr one. The shaken baby video is that horrifying.
A few weeks ago in "class that isn't class" for baby school (Centering) a discussion came up about shaken baby and I was doing my blood pressure while it was going on. HIGH. I had to wait 20 min and try again to get a normal reading.... apparently that kind of thing upsets me.
So last week they cracked an egg and put it in an old cottage cheese container. The yoke was intact. Then they dropped it from what would be, oh, bed height. Yoke still intact. Then they shook it... just a few seconds. Ta-da. You've just demonstrated how to scramble your newborn's brain.
I know sometimes they make ya crazy.... don't shake 'em.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Baby Things I Know
Here's something I learned this week.
1. The baby's heart rate is 136.
2. She weighs almost 3 pounds... or so.
3. It's ok to go get monitored when you think you are having preterm labor... even if you aren't really.
4. Gunnar is super-sensitive. He is absolutely clingy and won't leave my side and is fretting about me... he always knows when I am stressed. I have to coax him out to go pee and I'm covered in dog hair from the knees down. Seriously.... he's going to trip me and I'm gonna fall down the stairs.
5. My husband is a darling. And he gets a little clingy when he gets stressed as well... but he likes to take me to breakfast and get me chai tea when he's worried about me.
1. The baby's heart rate is 136.
2. She weighs almost 3 pounds... or so.
3. It's ok to go get monitored when you think you are having preterm labor... even if you aren't really.
4. Gunnar is super-sensitive. He is absolutely clingy and won't leave my side and is fretting about me... he always knows when I am stressed. I have to coax him out to go pee and I'm covered in dog hair from the knees down. Seriously.... he's going to trip me and I'm gonna fall down the stairs.
5. My husband is a darling. And he gets a little clingy when he gets stressed as well... but he likes to take me to breakfast and get me chai tea when he's worried about me.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Update
My son has learned to fib. He was sick last week and stayed home with daddy. This means movies all day and lunch on a tray in the living room..... that kind of sick. So this week he's been complaining of tummy troubles.... but as soon as I say, "Ok, you can stay home in bed but no tv....." he magically gets better.
The really funny one is when he uses one of MY lines on me. "Oh, mom, I ate too much and my tummy is over-full. I need to sit down and rest a minute."
I say that, oh, daily, these days.... it would be my baby-complaint of the day for today.... feeling either stuffed or starving. 10 bites of food and, if I don't stop eating, I will feel stuffed. But 15 minutes later I'm starving again. And, seriously, if that's my biggest complaint.... things are going well, right?
I did the glucola test. So I must be 26 weeks. I don't mind that orange drink stuff. It isn't bad. It isn't great.... but it isn't bad. I love the crazy baby antics from drinking that stuff... although I dread the sugar-crash a little while later. But I had a granola bar. I was ready. And I got pink coban wrap at the lab. Good times.
The really funny one is when he uses one of MY lines on me. "Oh, mom, I ate too much and my tummy is over-full. I need to sit down and rest a minute."
I say that, oh, daily, these days.... it would be my baby-complaint of the day for today.... feeling either stuffed or starving. 10 bites of food and, if I don't stop eating, I will feel stuffed. But 15 minutes later I'm starving again. And, seriously, if that's my biggest complaint.... things are going well, right?
I did the glucola test. So I must be 26 weeks. I don't mind that orange drink stuff. It isn't bad. It isn't great.... but it isn't bad. I love the crazy baby antics from drinking that stuff... although I dread the sugar-crash a little while later. But I had a granola bar. I was ready. And I got pink coban wrap at the lab. Good times.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Maternity with a B-word
No.... BUDGET, silly.
I'm almost into maternity clothes.
Here's the deal. My maternity wardrobe needs a re-vamp. As Elle has said.... styles have changed since we began birthin' pups. So I'm trying. I'm not going for a whole new wardrobe... just a few pieces to freshen things up a bit.
First, let's do the math. Baby Due June 29. And, to make it easy, let's start March 1st..... that gives us about 121 days...... seventeen weeks plus. So 85-ish work days. So how many work outfits do I really even need? Ten? Twelve? And I can wear the same things over and over again on the weekends..... I have no problem with that. Ok, maybe this is do-able. I'm planning a splurge of Victoria Secret yoga pants (unless someone has a better idea) for post-baby work wear.... think this fall. Probably 2 pairs. And I have about 4 tops I really like that are good for work.... and a few others that are ok. So what I really need is maybe 3-4 top-half outfits.
1. I don't like crew necks.... tight crew necks anyway.
2. I don't like spaghetti straps.... my maternal instinct is to corral these puppies... with a heavy-duty brassiere. (I love that word.... it reminds me of my Grandma.)
3. I don't like super tight.
4. No horizontal stripes. (Trust me, my mom has me covered in this area.... she has purchased MANY horizontally striped items for me.)
5. I like black yoga-style pants.
6. No ironing.
7. Everything must go with either black professional danskos or black Keen sandals (sorry, no linky.)
Any suggestions? Links would be appreciated. Should I just go to Target and get it over with? Shopko had some cute stuff last time I looked (ok, that was years ago). What about Kmart? My favorite summer maternity top came from there. Old Navy.com? Ebay. Gap. Anywhere else I should be looking?
Next week we will tackle my post-baby wardrobe.
I'm almost into maternity clothes.
Here's the deal. My maternity wardrobe needs a re-vamp. As Elle has said.... styles have changed since we began birthin' pups. So I'm trying. I'm not going for a whole new wardrobe... just a few pieces to freshen things up a bit.
First, let's do the math. Baby Due June 29. And, to make it easy, let's start March 1st..... that gives us about 121 days...... seventeen weeks plus. So 85-ish work days. So how many work outfits do I really even need? Ten? Twelve? And I can wear the same things over and over again on the weekends..... I have no problem with that. Ok, maybe this is do-able. I'm planning a splurge of Victoria Secret yoga pants (unless someone has a better idea) for post-baby work wear.... think this fall. Probably 2 pairs. And I have about 4 tops I really like that are good for work.... and a few others that are ok. So what I really need is maybe 3-4 top-half outfits.
1. I don't like crew necks.... tight crew necks anyway.
2. I don't like spaghetti straps.... my maternal instinct is to corral these puppies... with a heavy-duty brassiere. (I love that word.... it reminds me of my Grandma.)
3. I don't like super tight.
4. No horizontal stripes. (Trust me, my mom has me covered in this area.... she has purchased MANY horizontally striped items for me.)
5. I like black yoga-style pants.
6. No ironing.
7. Everything must go with either black professional danskos or black Keen sandals (sorry, no linky.)
Any suggestions? Links would be appreciated. Should I just go to Target and get it over with? Shopko had some cute stuff last time I looked (ok, that was years ago). What about Kmart? My favorite summer maternity top came from there. Old Navy.com? Ebay. Gap. Anywhere else I should be looking?
Next week we will tackle my post-baby wardrobe.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
What to Expect When You Ask Your Friends for Advice
In response to Susan's post about That One Pregnancy Book I provide you with links to all of MY stellar pregnancy & parenting advice. I'm actually planning a beautiful, touching, inspired post that will be an open letter to a friend who is having her first baby.... but I'm not there yet.
AND
Today is my birthday.... more about that later....
My Husband Says...
Boobcycle Review I
Boobcycle Review II
Baby Socks
Car Seats
Puny Gallbladders
The Story of Babies
AND
Today is my birthday.... more about that later....
My Husband Says...
Boobcycle Review I
Boobcycle Review II
Baby Socks
Car Seats
Puny Gallbladders
The Story of Babies
Monday, April 04, 2005
The Boobcycle Review Part I: Background
The wee one is now a strapping ten-month-old. The mama has been providing the boobage from day one. I could brag about it and tell you it has been easy and I’ve loved every minute but why lie? It ain’t easy and anyone who tells you it should be is either brain-dead, lying or a man.
The process was made both easier and harder by a lactation consultant my husband refers to as “The Boob Nazi.” Good advice in class (oh yes, the nerdy ones took a baby class… more on that later) about how to turn the baby & theory on how to smoosh the ta-tas so the baby gets a yummy nipple sandwich.
But the reality ain’t the dream, people. For the first day or so I thought I was the Queen Mama and couldn’t figure out how anyone could complain about this….it was easy. My sturdy 8 pound 11 ounce guppy had it all figured out. No assembly required.
Then came day two…. Nipple Pain, Engorgement… ya’ll with wee ones know all the key words….. I am just thankful for a sister-in-law & a best friend who are nurses and mothers…. Nothing like your best friend telling you to get in a hot shower, bend over and sway the udders gently…. Hell, isn’t that how I GOT in this condition in the first place??
I gotta tell ya girls…. It takes six weeks. By week seven I was starting to see the light and not hitting the advil bottle pre-sucklage every day. Meds are good. I could watch someone slurp a popcicle without wincing. Heck, I even let the husband fool with the colossals a little…. But those first 6 weeks were hell… anybody who tells you different is WRONG.
The process was made both easier and harder by a lactation consultant my husband refers to as “The Boob Nazi.” Good advice in class (oh yes, the nerdy ones took a baby class… more on that later) about how to turn the baby & theory on how to smoosh the ta-tas so the baby gets a yummy nipple sandwich.
But the reality ain’t the dream, people. For the first day or so I thought I was the Queen Mama and couldn’t figure out how anyone could complain about this….it was easy. My sturdy 8 pound 11 ounce guppy had it all figured out. No assembly required.
Then came day two…. Nipple Pain, Engorgement… ya’ll with wee ones know all the key words….. I am just thankful for a sister-in-law & a best friend who are nurses and mothers…. Nothing like your best friend telling you to get in a hot shower, bend over and sway the udders gently…. Hell, isn’t that how I GOT in this condition in the first place??
I gotta tell ya girls…. It takes six weeks. By week seven I was starting to see the light and not hitting the advil bottle pre-sucklage every day. Meds are good. I could watch someone slurp a popcicle without wincing. Heck, I even let the husband fool with the colossals a little…. But those first 6 weeks were hell… anybody who tells you different is WRONG.
Monday, March 28, 2005
The story of babies
We started trying for a baby right after we were married in June 2002. I assumed it would be like everything else I do…. I wouldn’t know what was going on for a bit and then “BAM” everything would magically fall into place. Well, in a way that did happen… it just took a little longer than I thought it should. We tried for a year following the instructions in the books. We took temperatures. We checked mucous. We elevated hips. (Any of you who have been through this know how hopelessly clinic love-making can become.) We tried romance. We tried interesting positions. We tried relaxation. (Ok, I’m not going to lie…. I liked those “trying” parts… a lot.) We went to the doctor. He told us not to worry. We got pregnant! We told my parents at the Augusta rodeo the end of June 2003. Any of you doing the math can see where this is going. Sweet Boy was born June 1, 2004. I do not have the gestational period of an elephant. We lost the baby on July 1, 2003. It was a hard, hard thing. In ways I think it was harder for the Daddy than for me. I could feel the loss physically. He couldn’t.
I grew to hate the layout of Target. You go right it is maternity clothes. You go left it is diapers. You go forward it is the baby department. And there are pregnant women EVERYWHERE. I considered stealing a baby from a cart in the Walmart parking lot. My girlfriends gave me hugs and a bottle of wine and told me to stay away from Walmart.
I found out that a lot of people have suffered this kind of loss. It just isn’t something that is often talked about in public. I felt less alone.
Our doctor is a progressive general practice kind of guy. He said the science behind waiting three months to try again was sketchy and that we should wait until I had one real period and then go for it with his blessings. I got sick and ended up at Urgent Care where a stand-in doc (the regular Urgent Care docs are really great) told me I was a foolish woman for not using birth control and that I was risking the life of my future baby by trying to conceive six weeks after a miscarriage. I kindly told him to take the degree he so obviously got out of a cracker jack box and shove it as far up his ass as he possibly could and send me the diamond it produced. No, not really, but that is what I wanted to say to him. Instead I stammered something about being allergic to latex and birth control pills stalling our baby-making efforts for over 12 months previously and I slunk home to seriously reconsider what kind of parent I, a foolish woman, could possibly be. Being a science-type gal I did my research on the subject and learned the idea of previous miscarriage causing future miscarriage is out-dated and barbaric. (Take that you stuffy old codger.) The chance of the egg implanting on the tiny scar left by the previous egg is miniscule and the only reason to wait at all for an established period is to help in determining the gestational age of the baby. (So shove that in your condescending tight ass you behind the times Neanderthal. Go get educated before you scare the shit out of some other woman who isn’t as strong, resilient and internet-savvy as your truly.)
I promised myself I would trust my gut more.
A late fire season took the father-to-be away from home a lot during August. On September 5th we managed to squeeze in a little sweet loving between fire assignments. We weren’t “officially” trying I didn’t worry too much about it and, to be totally honest, that time of “not trying” was a relief after months of “performance” and timing.
Being a tightwad, I had kept the second pregnancy test from the two-pack even though a part of my heart wanted to throw it away and never pray for pink lines again. By the 23rd of September I was so antsy for “things to get flowing” my eyelashes were falling out. (Stress makes that happen to me.) So I gave up and peed on the stick. I had to close one eye to focus thinking that the double pink lines might be from the tears blurring my vision.
But joy after a miscarriage is a fragile thing. Our ever-so-thoughtful and caring doctor scheduled a test to make sure the hormone levels were progressing properly. The test was done on a Wednesday & a Friday. I was sure, over the weekend, that the baby wasn’t real. The phone call came on Monday morning while I was at work. The doctor said, “Everything is fine.” Do I believe him? I wasn’t sure. We went for an ultrasound at around 9 weeks. When the tech showed us that beautiful little blip of a heartbeat I looked over at my husband and the tears were streaming down his face. “It” became more real and I fell in love with my little family.
At around the time we were scheduled for our regular mid-pregnancy ultrasound I had spotting. “Spotting” seems like such an innocent word. Spot. Spot. See Spot Run. See Spot play with Jane. The doc sends me directly to the hospital for an ultrasound…. Me guzzling water for whatever reason it is that they make you drink all that water before you get an ultrasound. The tech (Bob… by this time we are on a first name basis and I really like that man.) gets all set up and then gets called away for an emergency. (The curse of a small hospital.) We sit there holding hands and trying to relax… but not too much because I’m afraid I will pee if I actually relax. Bob comes back, apologizes, and, quicker than I can think, finds the baby’s heartbeat and makes our world whole again. He shows us the fingers & toes, prints lots of pictures, assures us that -though he is not an expert on this and his opinion is not official- our baby is perfect. There is a bit of a question about how the placenta is positioned (possible placental previa) so he will want to see us again in a month.
With a sigh of relief we go have a celebratory milkshake while we gaze in admiration at our strong, strong baby. The following ultrasound is uneventful. The tech warns us not to invite him to the baby shower since he is the only one who knows the sex of the baby and he will spoil the surprise. The tech says the baby is big for gestational age but proportional and with a predicted due date of May 17th based on size…. Although our doc is sticking with the original May 24th due date.
To be continued…..
I grew to hate the layout of Target. You go right it is maternity clothes. You go left it is diapers. You go forward it is the baby department. And there are pregnant women EVERYWHERE. I considered stealing a baby from a cart in the Walmart parking lot. My girlfriends gave me hugs and a bottle of wine and told me to stay away from Walmart.
I found out that a lot of people have suffered this kind of loss. It just isn’t something that is often talked about in public. I felt less alone.
Our doctor is a progressive general practice kind of guy. He said the science behind waiting three months to try again was sketchy and that we should wait until I had one real period and then go for it with his blessings. I got sick and ended up at Urgent Care where a stand-in doc (the regular Urgent Care docs are really great) told me I was a foolish woman for not using birth control and that I was risking the life of my future baby by trying to conceive six weeks after a miscarriage. I kindly told him to take the degree he so obviously got out of a cracker jack box and shove it as far up his ass as he possibly could and send me the diamond it produced. No, not really, but that is what I wanted to say to him. Instead I stammered something about being allergic to latex and birth control pills stalling our baby-making efforts for over 12 months previously and I slunk home to seriously reconsider what kind of parent I, a foolish woman, could possibly be. Being a science-type gal I did my research on the subject and learned the idea of previous miscarriage causing future miscarriage is out-dated and barbaric. (Take that you stuffy old codger.) The chance of the egg implanting on the tiny scar left by the previous egg is miniscule and the only reason to wait at all for an established period is to help in determining the gestational age of the baby. (So shove that in your condescending tight ass you behind the times Neanderthal. Go get educated before you scare the shit out of some other woman who isn’t as strong, resilient and internet-savvy as your truly.)
I promised myself I would trust my gut more.
A late fire season took the father-to-be away from home a lot during August. On September 5th we managed to squeeze in a little sweet loving between fire assignments. We weren’t “officially” trying I didn’t worry too much about it and, to be totally honest, that time of “not trying” was a relief after months of “performance” and timing.
Being a tightwad, I had kept the second pregnancy test from the two-pack even though a part of my heart wanted to throw it away and never pray for pink lines again. By the 23rd of September I was so antsy for “things to get flowing” my eyelashes were falling out. (Stress makes that happen to me.) So I gave up and peed on the stick. I had to close one eye to focus thinking that the double pink lines might be from the tears blurring my vision.
But joy after a miscarriage is a fragile thing. Our ever-so-thoughtful and caring doctor scheduled a test to make sure the hormone levels were progressing properly. The test was done on a Wednesday & a Friday. I was sure, over the weekend, that the baby wasn’t real. The phone call came on Monday morning while I was at work. The doctor said, “Everything is fine.” Do I believe him? I wasn’t sure. We went for an ultrasound at around 9 weeks. When the tech showed us that beautiful little blip of a heartbeat I looked over at my husband and the tears were streaming down his face. “It” became more real and I fell in love with my little family.
At around the time we were scheduled for our regular mid-pregnancy ultrasound I had spotting. “Spotting” seems like such an innocent word. Spot. Spot. See Spot Run. See Spot play with Jane. The doc sends me directly to the hospital for an ultrasound…. Me guzzling water for whatever reason it is that they make you drink all that water before you get an ultrasound. The tech (Bob… by this time we are on a first name basis and I really like that man.) gets all set up and then gets called away for an emergency. (The curse of a small hospital.) We sit there holding hands and trying to relax… but not too much because I’m afraid I will pee if I actually relax. Bob comes back, apologizes, and, quicker than I can think, finds the baby’s heartbeat and makes our world whole again. He shows us the fingers & toes, prints lots of pictures, assures us that -though he is not an expert on this and his opinion is not official- our baby is perfect. There is a bit of a question about how the placenta is positioned (possible placental previa) so he will want to see us again in a month.
With a sigh of relief we go have a celebratory milkshake while we gaze in admiration at our strong, strong baby. The following ultrasound is uneventful. The tech warns us not to invite him to the baby shower since he is the only one who knows the sex of the baby and he will spoil the surprise. The tech says the baby is big for gestational age but proportional and with a predicted due date of May 17th based on size…. Although our doc is sticking with the original May 24th due date.
To be continued…..
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