The wee one is now a strapping ten-month-old. The mama has been providing the boobage from day one. I could brag about it and tell you it has been easy and I’ve loved every minute but why lie? It ain’t easy and anyone who tells you it should be is either brain-dead, lying or a man.
The process was made both easier and harder by a lactation consultant my husband refers to as “The Boob Nazi.” Good advice in class (oh yes, the nerdy ones took a baby class… more on that later) about how to turn the baby & theory on how to smoosh the ta-tas so the baby gets a yummy nipple sandwich.
But the reality ain’t the dream, people. For the first day or so I thought I was the Queen Mama and couldn’t figure out how anyone could complain about this….it was easy. My sturdy 8 pound 11 ounce guppy had it all figured out. No assembly required.
Then came day two…. Nipple Pain, Engorgement… ya’ll with wee ones know all the key words….. I am just thankful for a sister-in-law & a best friend who are nurses and mothers…. Nothing like your best friend telling you to get in a hot shower, bend over and sway the udders gently…. Hell, isn’t that how I GOT in this condition in the first place??
I gotta tell ya girls…. It takes six weeks. By week seven I was starting to see the light and not hitting the advil bottle pre-sucklage every day. Meds are good. I could watch someone slurp a popcicle without wincing. Heck, I even let the husband fool with the colossals a little…. But those first 6 weeks were hell… anybody who tells you different is WRONG.