Monday, March 31, 2008

Pick Me. Pick Me.

This is Tuff demonstrating her love of fuzziness. Cross your fingers we just entered a contest over at to win a Zoobie!!!!

I love wantnot. Tuff loves fuzzy. She should win for those redneck teeth and double chins.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Move to the Country.....

The house next door is for sale!!!

I've blogged before about meeting our neighbors shortly after they moved in... well it seems they are moving out. No sign up yet but the house is listed on

I'm trying to get Elle to move up here. It would solve a lot of problems in her life. I even found a job for her husband. And I have a flat spot where her mama could park the rv...

Anyone else interested? 5+acres, creekside, good school system, lovely neighbors.....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Economic Stimulation

The ten-year-old boy in me snickers every time I hear the word "stimulation." hee-hee... there I go again....

So what's on your economic splurge list?

Here's what would stimulate me:

New tv. 32" flat screen anyone? Because, seriously, it's almost a need rather than a want.... what with the whole digital tuner thing happening next year.

New lap top. Dell 1330. Although I wouldn't turn down a macbook.

New washer/dryer. Front loading and stackable and sexy... because my laundry room is in the middle of my house.

New hot water heater. How romantic, right?

Giant soaking tub.... and by this I do NOT mean a new horse watering trough.

New couch. Small profile and washable with cushions that do not go flat when children jump on them.

New chairs. Modern recliners. Have you seen the horrible pink monstrosities in my living room?

New camera. Sony DSM I think.

A Larry Pirnie print. Because, Larry, if you are reading this... I love you, man.

A complete remodel of my entire house.

The reality is the money will go to paying property taxes and maybe, as a special bonus we'll get some Chinese take out and a big bottle of wine.... because I'm so practical it's almost a diagnosable disease...... But it is fun to dream, isn't it?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Horton Snorts A Who

Sweet went to his very first real live on the big screen movie event yesterday.


"Mom, the chair keeps folding up on me."

"Mom, did you get me BEER???" (After his mom got light-headed paying $4.50 for a tiny popcorn and a drink... he wouldn't drink the drink.... he doesn't LIKE pop..... so I got him water from the water fountain....)

"Mom, I gotta pee."

"Mom, that bird is scary but he makes me laugh too."

"Mom, that kangarangaroo is mean. Mean is not nice."

"I love you mom. You're beautiful."

Good times. Good times.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

He's a keeper.

I came home after a long & trying day at work and found the house clean and a drink waiting on the end of the counter.

At our house, we call that foreplay.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Do other people have days like this???

Sorry for the radio silence.... I was traumatized by Victoria's Secret.

From that last post down there about cleaning my closets you will note I needed to go bra shopping. You did note that, didn't you?

Well Saturday was the day. I started the day bright and early by driving to Brady with my daughter. We stopped along the way to get coffee (dude, I needed some sort of luxury... I was about to meet my brother's future mother-in-law) and my sister. My sister got new boots. Wow. Lovely. Doc Marten's (sp?).

I'll spare you the part about watching her drink her fiber drink through a straw while I was driving. Oh, wait, I didn't just spare you that, did I?

So we went to our future sis-in-law's bridal shower (note to self: Stop calling it a baby shower..... you'll make people talk) and had a good time. Excellent punch. (Although there was no booze in it.) Good turn out. (Much to the pleasure of my brother's future mother-in-law.... I think these things reflect well on the status of the family, don't you??) Great gifts.

Then we journeyed back to the big town to see her wedding dress options. Again... I needed coffee. She looked good and the decision was made. Hope she likes the dress.... the rest of us loved it. Sis & I decided we could submit her photos to Nutrisystem and make a few bucks because the girl is looking GOOD. She's dropped about 45 pounds in the last year. A year ago I would have told you she looked good. Now she is drop-friggin-dead gorgeous. And you'd need a putty knife to scrape the grin off my brother's face.

We didn't make it to my FAVORITE store to shop the clearance before closing time. But we did hit Vickie's Secret to find me a fabulous bra. NOT. NONE fit. NONE. Nothing was even close. Not comfortable, not sexy, not supportive. Not good. Mom was busy entertaining Tuff... who was in tactile heaven with all those silky things. Sis & I were looking at each other with puzzlement.... seriously.

So we headed to the big department store at the end of the row to see what they had to offer. I wanted to check out the iBra by Wacoal because my seriously fashion forward cousin loves them. And I needed a new jog bra. Strike Out. The iBra was not working for me and the brand and style of jogger I wanted wasn't in stock. Sigh.

So I saw a cheaper on-sale-for-$18 bra that was cute. Tried it on. Perfect. Thank you very much Bali. And I got a free Estee Lauder lipstick with purchase.

The End.... Until next time.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 we love you.

The kids and I took the recycling in on Sunday. Zowie. We all smelled like old beer and had to wash coats after but we got it done! I had one panic moment tossing a string of #2 colored plastics in the pickup and smelling bleach... maybe I didn't rinse so well and I was wearing my favorite black jacket but all seems to be fine.

The kids are fine assistants but there is something disturbing about watching an 18-month-old totter around with a beer bottle in each hand. So we put her in charge of pop cans and milk jugs. Sweet gathered lots of red milk caps for our next project. We almost have enough. We are going to make a concentration matching game using pictures of his friends and family. Isn't that sweet enough to make you gag?

Met several people at the glass recycling at the transfer station who laughed and said they'd meet me at the plastic recycling later when they saw the milk monster in we were hauling. Several giant strings of milk jugs and two chubby-cheeked tots just make people smile.

Plastic recycling is only offered 4 times a year here.

It isn't like we make anything easy.... glass, cardboard & tin cans go to the transfer station (hurry to make it by 4:45.... damn Daylight Savings), then to the Humane Society so they can make a buck from Hot Stuff's diet caffeine-free pepsi addiction, and a final stop at the Old Armory to dump the plastic.

We were going to get a movie but we looked like ragamuffins and smelled worse so we went home and used the ball scooper toys to throw snow at the barn instead. Do we know how to have a good time or what?

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

My parenting philosophy

Know the rules so you can break the rules.

This is how I parent. Heck, this is how I live.

I know, you were expecting something brilliant weren't you? You wanted something from a parenting book.... maybe some Dr. Sears or the Baby Whisperer. Sorry. Not here.

In this house every rule has a collary.

Rule: Movie night is Friday night. We watch a kid dvd between 6:30-8:00. Popcorn. Eating dinner in the living room with tv trays. The whole bit. This cuts down on the "Can I watch a movie?" whining during the week. Is it Friday? No. Then you can't watch a movie. In theory this gives us something to look forward to and something to bargain with.... what? Go ahead. Tell me you never bargain with the under 36 inch set. I'll call you a liar to your face.... The key to good bargaining is follow up. A gentle reminder to behave yourself or you won't get a movie will buy me an extra 15 minutes in the grocery store.... enough time to call home and have Hot Stuff read me my list.... my perfectly organized list that is on the fridge where I forgot it. (Let me add... my perfectly organized list to make my perfectly planned and executed and nutritious meals... because.... I AM perfect. Remember that when you stop by and I'm wearing my pj's at 3:00 on Saturday afternoon, couch cushions everywhere, music blaring and my daughter is jumping off the couch with a pacifier (read: mouth guard) while my son races the little boy in the oven... somehow they always end in a tie.) Daycare time outs for serious infractions (like tackling..... not the exuberant tackle but the agressive tackle) result in the loss of movie night. The End. Hey kid, it sucks for me too. I enjoy your excitement over picking a movie. I love watching Meet the Robinson's. I like the Friday night down time to relax into a glass of wine and contemplate the weekend.

Collary: Sick kids watch dvds. When mommy has work deadlines kids watch dvds. Kids can make special dates with Nana to watch dvds. When mommy & daddy have friends over to watch movies all the kids get to watch old vhs tapes... IN THE MAMA BEDROOM. Who-hoo. Now that, my friends, is a SPECIAL TREAT.

Other house rules that are made to be broken:

No eating dinner in front of the tv. Unless it is movie night. Or Saturday morning cartoons and waffles.

Put away what you are playing with before you get out more toys. Unless.... no wait, no unless. Just do this. Or you will make mama crazy and she will have to personally put in a call to The Toy Fairy to come clear out your toys because you obviously don't want these ones anymore if you don't respect them enough to put them away. The Toy Fairy... he is a ruthless, ruthless little man with wings and glitter dust.

Cover your ding-ding in the living is just polite. But mom... it's called a penis. (We actually HAVe this conversation on a regular basis...) Ok, after bath streaking to stand in front of the stove is acceptable.

No standing on the counters. (Anyone else have a monkey for a child? I'm talking about the 18-month-old here..... she scales all cabinets and counters..... right in front of my eyes!)

Use soap. No exceptions.

See... these are the rules. I'll try to think of more. Think you could/would live at my house?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Closet Wars.

Rachel (Can I call her by her first name? Like I know her? Like I'm not a stalker?) has YET ANOTHER great post up. This one about cleaning the closet.

Hello, my name is K and I have a confession.... Last month I cleaned my closet and it was damn near orgasmic.

Here, for the record, is how I did it and how you, too, can do it. (wow... that was quite the grammaritmare, wasn't it?)

First. Call your sister. Or, alternately, call my sister.

A note about my sister. She has style. She has sense. She recently got tired of maintaining 3 wardrobes (one for work, one for socializing and one for weekends) so she started looking for "pieces" that can do multiple duty. Not saying she's wearing her horse-riding under armour to work or anything... but she is applying that tried-n-true concept of knowing your own style and going with basics rather than trendy.

So, first, she asked me about my style.

My style. I (with the help of my mother and my friend) developed a decent summer work style. A few pairs of nice fitting capris, a couple cute skirts & some simple tops. Add in two or three trendy tops, some nice "signature" jewelry and one great pair of slides (covered toe... can't remember the brand) and I was doing ok until the weather got cold. Winter is jeans, jeans, jeans. With a few vests, a couple sweaters & some very boring long sleeved tops. Hey... I'm a work in progress.

So, then, she assessed my, um, shape.

I'm tall. I've got that going for me. And leggy. Elegant. I like to think I'm elegant. And round. I am short-waisted AND I have scoliosis and no definable waist AT ALL. I look like one of those kid's drawing of a circle with stick legs. I lost all the baby weight after the second baby with ease.... then, somehow, in the following year I gained it all back and then some. So I'm a bit, um, "stout".... or "built like a telephone pole"... whatever works.

So then we started going through the closet.

My biggest fear was ending up naked. Seriously. I was afraid she would tell me to scrap it all and start over. My instructions to her were honesty, simplification & put-together outfits... not necessarily in that order.

So we dove in. I'll spare you the hours of giggling, tea drinking & nudity. She let me keep the two new pairs of long shorts I got on clearance at Eddie Bauer.... but the rest (including several pairs of soccer shorts.... I don't play soccer.... wtf? Soccer shorts?) went in "the bag." I got rid of the oldest and illest fitting of the "casual" pants. I narrowed the sweatshirt selection. I emptied the entire cedar chest. I culled t-shirts, undies, and socks. I realized I have exactly NO bras that fit. I let go of the wool socks I adore but that are not good for my sensitive skin. I discovered three jackets that actually fit me but I was afraid to put on because I was sure they would be too tight (who-hoo gym time & eating right.... maybe it will indeed someday pay off....). All horizontal stripes (even you, expensive dress) are gone.

I kept a few select sentimental items to be repurposed. (I'm making Christmas stockings and these fabrics will make great sock tops.... sentimental, pretty & free.)

I came out of it with 4 large trash bags of donations, lots of space, color organized and easy to find clothing and a need to go bra shopping. I'll work on that. It motivated Hot Stuff to do his closet the following weekend. We have more sex now. (What? That could be a result of a more peaceful and inviting bedroom, right?) Although he still won't let me light candles in the bedroom..... and a maglite just isn't the kind of ambiance I'm lookin' for....

Wait. Focus. Post. Not. About. Sex.

So my closets are clean. My bedroom still has ugly peach carpet but my closets are clean. I still need to paint the walls but my closets are clean.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Joiners and Loners

Love this. Relate to this. But have decided to not worry about this. Friends. Who has 'em? Who needs 'em?

Sometimes I watch my neighbors decorate their mailboxes together (green foil shamrocks this month) and wish I was more of a joiner. But I'm not.

And sometimes I look at the women I know locally who could or should be "part of my circle" and I wonder what is wrong with me. Then I look again and wonder what is wrong with them.... I don't play nice with the competimommies. And I don't exactly fit in with the granola mommies. Or the snob mommies. Or the redneck mommies.

So what's a girl to do?

I have one close long distance friend. You can find her here. I have one local friend that I should spend more time with because I really do like her and we have lots in common (including high school, offbeat families, husbands who hunt, toddlers & long legs) but we both realize we are what we are.... and neither one of us is a joiner. I imagine I will gain more "mom friends" as my kids get older. Or not.

There are times.... there are times....