At dinner last night Sweet Boy announced, “Jack & I are married.” Hot Stuff looked at me over SB’s head and mouthed, “I’m not sure I like where this is going….”
Jack is Sweet Boy’s imaginary friend. Mostly, Jack is a big boy who fights fires and knows how to fly…. Very similar to Sweet Boy except the “big” part…. So I, being the open-minded mama I am, asked, “Are you married to Jack?” and Sweet Boy responded, “Oh, no, mama… I’m married to (insert unintelligible noise that sounds like Gluhg-gluhoo). She’s my husband.” Can you tell we’ve been having many fascinating dinner conversations about relationships at our house?
So then I, preparing for that teenage time when I need to grill my children about where they go and who they are with, ask, “Who did Jack marry?” “Oh,” says SB, “Jack isn’t really married.” “So he’s single and not married… like Uncle Techno?” (Sorry, Brother, couldn’t think of a better pseudonym for you… Pyro? Psycho? Turbo? Dude?)
“Oh no,” says SB, “Uncle Techno is married.”
Really.
“…. To Auntie Wissa.”
Brother, you are so dead in the water on this one… she’s already ahead of you on the “bless us” list (although you are both behind Smokey… dad’s dog) and Sister & I will keep her and dump you if you break up….. You might as well get her a ring…..
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(Screaming and running the other direction)
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