On dirty floors

Do you ever put a used dryer sheet on the baby’s round little belly and call her “mini-swiffer” while she rolls around the kitchen?

Have you ever used a golf ball cleaner to clean muddy shoes?

Sunday my son was on his back on the kitchen floor flapping his arms & legs…. When I asked what he was doing he said, “Making angels.”

Is anyone else seriously confused when they drop baby food on the floor at someone else’s house and the dog isn’t there to clean it up? How do you people keep your floors clean??

Have you ever used a vacuum attachment on the dog?

How many square feet of floor can you vacuum before the dirt-cyclone in the clear canister of the vacuum stops swirling? Me? About ten…. And I vacuum a lot.

I’ve been trying to teach the dog to wipe his paws before he comes in the house. It’s true, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Why don’t they call linoleum and tile samples by names that would really help me decide… like “mud” or “dirt yard” or “soot-n-horseshit” or “black-n-white dog”??

Have you ever taken the garbage out in your pajamas and a pair of 4-buckle overboots… with no shoes underneath?

Any ideas how to clean the socks of a 2-year-old when his boots “got mucked down ‘n I walked outen a them” Fear not… I tossed them.

Does anyone else let their kid pee on the side of the shop just so he won’t track across the freshly cleaned floors to get to the bathroom? How about your husband?

How can there be 14 pairs of muddy boots on the porch when there are only 3 sets of feet (and one set of knees) capable of making muddy boots in the household??

Ah, yes, ‘tis the season of mud & muck in our neighborhood….