Snippets

And, suddenly, as I was putting away the apples I thought to myself, "I gotta blog this..."

My weekend, in snippets:

Cucumber all-purpose spray. Yes, this is what I bought myself as a treat this weekend. And then I found myself cleaning the pushy-knob that opens the microwave door. With a toothbrush. And, ta-da, I've developed yet another obsession. At a certain point Sweet Boy and I were actually arguing over who got to spray the front door and who got to wipe it. Ta-da, my children also harbor my obsessions. It's genetic.

A riddle. Small child sprinting down a long corridor followed by a woman frantically balancing a baby, a slice of pizza, a shopping cart (you're imaging me balancing a shopping cart on my head now, aren't you??) & a frozen yogurt. Where are they going?

The answer. Picture the woman carefully and calmly trying to talk the little boy through the process of unlocking the bathroom stall BEFORE he makes a puddle on the floor. Damn, that kid is fast... he had the door locked before I even got to it.

And, to make it even funnier. Picture the baby, strapped in her car seat in the front of the cart, happily gumming the slice of pizza (it was sitting on the tot-seat). Mother dreams of the millions she will make when she sells amazing rubber-armed child to the circus. Big Brother says, "Aw, sister...."

Finally, lunch & shopping are over. Everyone is happy and chatting away. We walk outside and a giant gust of wind blows the yogurt & the pizza away. GONE. BLEW AWAY. Sweet Boy spends the rest of the day making up stories about where it went. They involve mountains, dump trucks & grandpa getting in trouble for eating all the pizza when it blew into him.

So we have an adventure. We went through the drive-thru car wash…. I'll admit I've never been through one of those. It was a new experience for all three of us... heck even for the car so all 4 of us.... The blue-whappy things were a little scary but it was fun with the sunroof open... I mean... well, you know what I mean..... And a little man comes out and scrubs the back window and we yelled for him to run or the blue whappy things would get him… it all made quite an impression on SB… he can't stop talking about it.

Home & guests. The freakin' Jehovah's Witness people showed up. They come every few weeks…. I know the one girl so I can't be mean to her…. I had a feeling they would show this weekend (usually they show up when I'm making waffles in my flannel jammies with the dogs on them) but I was blindsided when they got here on MONDAY and they didn't offer to help unload the groceries or anything so it was a short visit.

It musta been the veggie puffs. Since Darling Girl made her new love of solid foods so obvious I dug out the container of veggie puffs. Yes, they are left over from SB's toddlerhood. Yes, the container is almost full. No, SB still doesn't like veggies all that much. But does Darling Girl like them? You betcha. I tasted them. They didn't taste too stale... well, no worse than how they taste new. And they melt in your mouth... which is actually a little disturbing.... but she had a blast... getting to pick up a little thing and put it in her mouth and NOT have every adult in a 6-foot radius shriek, gasp, make a horrible face, and take away her treasure. But then, then.... the most amazing poop. It shot up her back to the tops of her shoulders. Now, I should remind you, this kid is not big on producing waste. She doesn't poop all that often and this was two days in a row.... I was horrified. But, the up-side? We got to try out the brand new (hot pink) wax ear plugs* in the bath and they work like a charm.

Well, what do you call it? I fell prey to the siren-song of pre-produced, processed foods and bought a spinnin-chicken for dinner. What? You have no idea what delicacy this spinnin-chicken thing is?? Why? Ask Elle. She came up with the name. Why? Because it is logical. A chicken that spins.... on a rotisserie. It was so yummy and moist and delightful. Maybe I'll try to feed my kids less sodium & processed foods NEXT week.

And that, my dears, is all I got right now.....


*What? I failed to blog about the ruptured-perforated-exploded ear drum? Ah, maybe tomorrow.