Tuesday, August 09, 2005

How big is ‘yer spread?

It’s a question you just don’t ask. People raised in a farm or ranch community… true farmers & ranchers…. never ask how many acres you own. Yet this weekend I was asked, not once but twice, how many acres we own. Five-and-a-half-thank-you-very-much. And, yes, we have creekside property. Geez.

I guess if I wanted to be a true brat I could talk about how many acres my family owns… if I had any idea what that number might be. Before you get too excited and start asking me for a low-interest loan or anything let’s all remember that land is some desolate-ass dessert in the middle on north-central Montana. Hot Stuff refers to it as “this god-forsaken fuckin’ frozen tundra” as in, “How many more miles across this god-forsaken fuckin’ frozen tundra do we have to drive to get to town?”

So, just to recap, to fit in around Redneckia… don’t ask how many acres and, for the love of it all, if you are talking to a farmer remember a truck is something you haul grain in and not a little Dodge (Ford, Chevy, Toyota) grocery-getter with a tailgate & chrome bumpers…. That’s a pickup.

7 comments:

McSwain said...

Hi- found your blog 'cause we share a favorite book, and I figure anyone who likes "Cowboys Are My Weakness" and lives in Montana is okay with me. I'm a mommy blogger who grew up in a very Montana-like part of Oregon, helpin' to work cows on a pretty large spread. Will be back 'cause I like the photos & the writing. :)

Homestead said...

Cheryl-

Have you read her new one? I've heard good things.....

M&Co. said...

"How big is yer spread?" I'm trying to think how to say that so it doesn't sound dirty.

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McSwain said...

Haven't read it yet- but now that you mention it, think I'll pick it up this weekend. Thanks for the idea!

SierraBella said...

I'm guessin' the pod people new neighbors were one of the people who asked this!
You're so right about the definition of a truck vs a pickup.

Homestead said...

m&co- I dare you to work that phrase into foreplay. Dare you.

Sierrabella- Indeed the pod people asked.... odd, especially considering the fact that there is a covenant stating a 5-acre minimum.....

Oh, I have some pictures around here somewhere that would show the different between a truck and a pickup.... I've been wanting to write an ode to my favorite truck anyway....