Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Hoary Marmot & other swear words….

I recently left a comment on another blogger’s site and used the word “fuck” oh, about eleventy-million times. Sorry LadyBug…. I was a bit worried and the potty-mouth starts spewing when I am stressed, worried or drinking. Some people crave a smoke when they drink… I crave cussing.

I try to rarely vocalize swear words for several reasons. I have a professional image to maintain. I find swearing is much more effective if you don’t do it too often. I have a small parrot-like child and I really don’t want him to be the only kid on the playground dropping the f-bomb.

But welcome to my brain. In my head there are swear words everywhere. Nouns, verbs, adjectives…. Creative swearing, beautiful cursing, explosive cussing. At any given moment the word “fuck” is emblazoned in glowing neon on the walls of my mind.

And I learned from the best. My dad can go on for over 5 minutes without repeating a word. We call them “mfcs-fits” because they almost always start with Mother-Fucker-Cock-Sucker and go on from there. It’s a cultural thing. It has to be. I should apply for a grant to study it as a form of folklore.

My brother does this scary, calm cursing thing. He has this rhythmic, melodious tone and he sounds like the horse-whisperer or something…. It is mesmerizing until you suddenly actually hear the words he is using…. slimy chicken fucker & finger-fuck a flying fish (nice alliteration) are some prime examples. It’s also impressive when he can work some non-swearing descriptive in and make is sound really naughty. Check the comments section… I’m sure he will have something to say.

7 comments:

Susan said...

Should I mention that 'fuck me running' is one of my favorite phrases ever now?

And should I tell you that I learned it from a comment you left at my site?

Nah.

M&Co. said...

I love a good cuss word. And have I told you the BoyChild can use the word DAMN? And he uses it appropriately? I'm so proud!

Quiet said...

I am guilty of swearing too much. Sometimes if I dont' swear people notice...

Homestead said...

Oh Susan... I'm so sorry.... The full phrase is, "Well, fuck me runnin' backwards through the mud." Yeah, let fly with that one at the next book club meeting and see what happens....

I also like, "Well I could give a rat's right testicle what you think..." and any variation that includes telling someone to take a flying fuck at a cheerio.

I am going to hell.

Greenthumb said...

When someone is grumpy, I like to say, "Well who pissed in your cheerios?"

But your style is killing me, I would start laughing at the "fuck me runnin' backwards thru the mud". Ya'll got some real class outyonder. :o)

LadyBug said...

No need for apologies, Homestead. I know you were just worried and frantic. (Sorry 'bout that.)

And the intensity and frequency of the f-word really did make me grin. And we know I needed that. Thanks.

Homestead said...

Greenie- I like any insult that indicates one's peenie would fit in a cheerio... there's just something about that... it scream "classy" to me....

LadyBug- I just really like that you said frequency, intensity & the f-word all in one sentence....