Spa Day Mama Style

In my past life I was a big-time “self spa” person.  Nothing better than a magazine, glass of wine and a bubble bath or a homemade facial.  Hedonist might be another word for it. 

I haven’t had a bubble bath in years.  (Seriously, who want to climb into a tiny tub and then be swarmed by a herd of filthy toddlers?  It isn’t fun no matter how big the bottle of wine or how lovely the scent of the candles.)  And self-care… well…. Some of that soak and scrub stuff is pretty involved… if I got out an avocado and plastic wrap right now my kids would scream, “Mexican Night,” turn on flamenco music and get out a giant bag of dorritos. 

So, dear reader, for you I have written the multi-tasking mama guide to self-care Sunday.

Step 1:  Make a giant pot of coffee, feed the kids something easy for breakfast and sweep the bathroom floor.  (Trust me, the swept floor will make sense in a minute.)  Put some leave-in conditioner in your hair.  Turn on some music.

Step 2:  Give the dog a bath.  (See why you want a swept floor?  Less mud.)  Go ahead and use your towel (or better yet… your husband’s…) to dry the dog.  While you are there, swipe the tub walls with a Mr. Clean Eraser and clean as much dog hair out of the drain as possible.

Step 3:  Throw all towels in the washer.  Extra rinse.

Step 4:  Give the bathroom a quick once-over.  Swish the toilet and wipe it down.  (Sorry… I know it will kill the environment but I like disinfectant wipes for this.)  Wipe the counter.  Do a half-hearted mop job if you want.   Light a candle.

Step 5:  Get more coffee.  Do some long-overdue self-care.  Tweeze, wax, get out a fresh blade for your razor.  Brush.  Floss.  Bonus points if you use up some old product….. facial scrub etc.

Step 6:  Put the towels in the dryer.  Break up a fight between kids.  Assign some chores.

Step 7:  Get in the shower.  If it looks to be “one of those days” go ahead and turn up the hot water heater first.  (What?  Ours is turned down so it doesn’t scald someone small…. Which often translates into optimistically reminding myself, “An ice-cold hair rinse seals the hair cuticle and makes hair shiny.”)  Use the clarisonic.  Heck…. If you are feeling crazy use the body brush.  In a perfect world you would start with a lovely homemade sugar scrub but really… you already wiped down the tub with that sexy Mr. Clean…. So why waste that effort?  Wash your hair….. I like to put some tea tree oil in with my shampoo to clarify and then wash it again.  Put a little conditioner in the ends and run a comb through it.  Shave.  Really shave.  Every section of your legs.  (Am I the only one who is so pressed that sometimes I break up shaving???  Lower legs today.  Upper legs tomorrow.  Cookie only if we are going to the pool.)  Use that foot buffer thing on your feet.  Go ahead… use up all the hot water.  When the kids come in to pester you send them to the dryer to get you a warm and fluffy towel.  Put your hair up to dry and put on some lovely body oil and wander around the bathroom for a bit while it dries.  I still love Neutrogena Sesame Oil…. Does that date me??  I also like Body Butter.  Put some of the good moisturizer on your face.  Wrap up in your (20+ year old grey fleece from the Gap) robe.  Sit on the couch and slather (I love that word.  Slather.) on some foot cream.  Put on socks.  Get dressed in something comfy but athletic. 

Step 8:  Now you are ready to face the rest of your day.  (Seriously… at this point…. Sweet is comatose in front of the tv, Bugsy is in hysterics because she pottied on the bean bag chair, Tuff is crying because Sweet scared her, someone has colored on the ottoman and the dog has soaked the couch with wet dog smell.)

Step 9:  Get more coffee.