Exciting happenings tonight here in Redneckia.
An escaped convict. He (allegedly) slipped his shackles, shucked his clothes & shimmied out of a sunroof while the transport van was stopped at a stop sign. That was at 7:00 am. At 11:00 am (when the transport arrived at the state pen in Deer Lodge) they realized he wasn't there. As of 6:00 tonight he is still out there. The lady at the grocery store said he got a ride to Town Pump at 4:00 pm. Would you pick up a dude in black boxers, a white t-shirt & black tennies on a 40 degree day???
The best part? This isn't the first time this has happened. Not long ago a prisoner slipped a transport when they stopped for fast food.... they found him when he tried to car-jack a guy.... from the house next door to my boss. Turns out he had been hiding in her backyard flower bed all evening while she was calmly watching HGTV and eating popcorn.
So here we sit.... doors locked, guns loaded & Mary (my trusty 4D utility flashlight) ready to blind and beat any intruders. Lord have mercy on any Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons on a mission or political campaigners who show up here tonight.....