Dear Brother.....

Dear Brother.... I answered these for you...

1. Were you named after anyone? Well, they wanted to name you Michael...after your great-grandfather.... just be glad your last name isn't Hunt. And on that... when's the last time you actually USED your given name??

2. When was the last time you cried? I think a better question is when was the last time you TRIED???

3. Do you like your handwriting? I like your handwriting... when it is signing a big fat check written out to my name.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? I was sure you would say "Whatever is in my sister's fridge."

5. Do you have kids? Well, then, WHAT is Rowdy???

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? I like pizza.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Is there a number bigger than "a lot" out there???

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes, but every time you go to the dentist he comments on them, doesn't he?

9. Would you bungee jump? Can you imagine your life depending on all those little cords under the seat in your pickup??

10. What is your favorite cereal? The kind with beer on it.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? velcro. Actually... that's a funny one. Have you ever WORN shoes with ties in them? Not since those infamous blue roller skates from the early '80s....

12. Do you think you are strong? strong smelling.

13. What is your favorite ice cream? Wilcoxsen's... because it is fun to say. Actually, in all seriousness... have you HAD the special edition Girl Scout cookie ice cream?

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? how wide and funny their mouths look (when they are screaming and running while I chase them with a large piece of equipment...)

15. Red or pink? Well, after you washed them with a red sweatshirt... pink.

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? You keep forgetting to give your big sister a lot of money and candy.

17. Who do you miss the most? Depends on when the last time was you sited in your gun.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? No, please send it to his boss so he knows what the hell you do all day.

19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? pants? I knew I forgot something this morning...

20. What was the last thing you ate? All that candy I was going to give to my sister...

21. What are you listening to right now? Your Wife. That is the correct answer.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? puce. definitely puce. (What you get when you mix orange & baby blue)

23. Favorite smells? not your feet.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? someone, somehow, associated with the wedding.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? no.

26. Favorite sports to watch? Is paint drying actually a sport??

27. Hair color? transparent.

28. Eye color? crayola.

29. Do you wear contacts? Laser eyes.

30. Favorite food? the kind someone else cooks.

31. Scary movies or happy endings?

32. Last movie you watched? Bob the Builder... Live. The musical.

33. What color shirt are you wearing? Root beer brown. they are all brown when you can't see colors.

34. Summer or winter? winter or road-construction?

35. Hugs or kisses? Hershey's kisses

36. Favorite dessert? Mohave. Oh. Wait. Penuche frosting.

39. What book are you reading now? That sex one your wife got for a shower gift.

40. What is on your mouse pad? coffee, chocolate cake crumbs

41. What did you watch on TV? last night? porn and infomercials.

42. Favorite sound? What sound does the electronic transfer of funds into my account make??

43. Rolling stones or Beatles? Uhh....Ointment or Suppositories?

44. What is the farthest you have been from home? If you go far enough west you'll always end up back on the hi-line.

45. Do you have a special talent? Inseminating cattle

46. Where were you born? Hutterite colony (seriously... ask mom.)

47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? heh-heh-heh

48. What time is it now? Time to go back to work.