The Story of Your Birth

Oh just skip this post.... it's long & boring & you'll only hate me in the end.....

July 18, 2006

Darling Girl-

On July 14, 2006 at 8:04 am you made your unique presence known to the world in a delivery worthy of the Baby Channel.

Just 4 days old and already you have So Much Personality, my little Princess Angry Humming Bird. You are Mama’s girl. You love to eat. You love to look over the scene with your dark little beady birdy eyes and then, very confidently & concisely, give your opinion regarding all you survey. Daddy is good… but only for snuggling and tar-substance removal. Mama is yummy. Big Brother is the best paci-retriever in the world… and you need it… why have a paci when the real thing is so close at hand?

Unfortunately, your most common nickname is, “Snort.” And then your brother gets “Are You My Mother?” and we read about the Snort. You are a great nurser although you still need to work on your burping skills.

Your big brother is adjusting nicely to your existence. He’s a bit bewildered about why pacis are only for babies but seeing Daddy change a few nasty diapers has him reconsidering potty training. He told us he had to go and went on the big potty chair a few times right after you were born and whenever we change you he says, “Eeewww.” He really thinks having a baby is all about eating pizza, watching cartoons at the hospital and getting a new remote control car. Although at one point he did look at you and ask, “Ok, now where’s my baby brother??”

The official story? Well, you were due July 12 and Mama went to the doc that day for an exam and learned she was 4 cm dilated. (Auntie Lala said, “Ask for the epidural now! You can get an epidural at 4 cm.”) Dr. L stripped Mama’s membranes (not nearly as horrible as it sounds… it was nothing like juicing an orange…. Which is the mental image I get from the name….) and said he would be out of town Friday-Sunday. Rats. That night Mama had steady but mild contractions for about 2 hours… so I cleaned the toilet (what? When I had your brother I got sick and nothing says, “I love you and I prepared for you” like a nice clean toilet… I even used Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap so it would be minty fresh.) The contractions were steady enough that I put my toothbrush in the overnight bag…. There is nothing more depressing than getting your toothbrush out of the overnight bag in the morning to brush before you go to work… again.

The night of the 13th (Thursday) I decided you might never come so no point in being worried about it. Daniel & I stopped at the grocery store and stocked up on the essentials… just in case. I was starving that night and then had to take a nap…. Oh, hind-sight, you are 20/20.

I woke up at 4:26 thinking I might be having a contraction. I, of course, couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up and started actually timing them at 5:21. Took a nice shower, braided my hair, packed up the essentials & put them in the car, made sure the cell phones & cameras were charged, cleaned the fridge, put on grey eyeliner (a little joke between your father and I…. He always said I would stop in the middle of labor to put on grey eyeliner…. He’s been right every time), put on my “go to the hospital” outfit of grey yoga capris & your father’s maroon t-shirt, cleaned the sink, started the dishwasher, watered the pots on the porch, tidied the living room and, at a few minutes after 6, woke your daddy and said, “It’s time.” Daddy responded with, “Time to get up or time to go to the hospital?” And I said, “Probably both but no rush…. I can still clean through a contraction and they are still 12-15 minutes apart.” I called your Nana to come stay with your brother and Daddy took a shower and took out the garbage (we are nothing if not Virgos). I called the doctor and got a message for the on-call doc…. A doc I don’t know… so I left a cheery message about being in labor. Then I called l&d at the hospital and had another cheery conversation and told them we were on our way. I’m sure the nurse thought I was an idiot. Meanwhile the on-call doc had called back and left a message on daddy’s cell phone saying to go to l&d and have them page Dr. L and good luck. Again with the…. “Lady, I’m pretty sure you’re an idiot” overtones…..

So we set up the tv so your brother could watch some cartoons and showed Nana how to run the dvd player and casually headed to town a few minutes before 7:00 am…. It might have been as early as 6:40. We talked about driving through the Subaru parking lot and car shopping but decided to do that on the way home… a wise decision. We were so proud of ourselves for avoiding 8:00 Capitol Complex traffic. It was such a comfortable drive compared to the trip we made for your brother. I could talk, the contractions were far apart and not uncomfortable yet. No need to brace myself and arch my back and swear during them…. We even made fun of the contract engine we passed…. They were traveling in their yellow shirts…. A sure sign of dorks.

Once at the hospital we parked (no drop-off-the-door-doesn’t-work-and-I-can’t-read insanity like with your brother) and called our offices to let them know we wouldn’t be in, then I called your grandpa and talked about harvest for a while…. He said the wheat would be ripe in about 20 minutes and I said I thought maybe I would be too…. Little did I know….. I told him we’d call him around noon because maybe something would be happening by then. Then I called your Auntie Cassidy to apologize for not waiting for her & grandma to be there. We talked about how hot it was and how nice a/c is…. By this time Mama is standing by the emergency entrance feeling like a Valley Gal for chatting on her cell phone like a big dork. We go in and register and the receptionist assumes I am there to be induced. "No, this is pretty much active labor for her,” your father tells her. She tells us we will be going to the “Rule Out” room…. As in to rule out labor. This makes me laugh. As we are waiting for someone with a wheel chair to come get us I am joking with another pregnant lady there who is going to be induced. The Slowest Driver In The World takes us to l&d. I remember the trip there with your brother…. Flying down the hall while daddy ran along behind carrying a ream of admit papers with the overnight bag banging against his hip… all big eyes & a pale face. I decided this leisurely pace was much better.

We met our nurse, Elizabeth, and settled into the “rule out” room for monitoring. I got into a gown and that funny belly band thing that is really stockinet like what Grandma had around her rolling pin. We started filling out paperwork and noted, at some point in there, that the time was 7:20 am. At this point I’m still thinking I might get to glance at the new “Health” magazine I so optimistically stuck in the overnight bag at the last minute.

We are filling out the reams of paperwork that are really only about 3 pages but seem like reams when the contractions start getting a bit more serious and closer together. Elizabeth notes that I’m having some stronger and some milder and I don’t seem to even notice the mild ones…..at this point I have one that lasts about 3 minutes….. I noticed that one…. And she exams me and says I’m over 5, stretchy, and can easily go to a 6…. Which makes me note, “Oh I came in at a 6 last time…” Elizabeth has seen my chart and decides to speed things along and move us to a room…. I wish I could tell you what time it was…. I’ll have to ask your father…. Probably around 7:50.

So we get unhooked from the monitor and meander down the hall to room 408. I get hooked up to the portable monitor and prepare myself to do the power lap. Pace, focus, pace, stand over the toilet when the contraction hits in case I pee (what? I don’t want to pee on the floor and then slip in it…. I’m sure that’s something you could sue the hospital for…. Isn’t it?) and Elizabeth steps into the hall to do something and promises to hook me up to a saline drip as soon as she gets back. I go into the bathroom as a contraction hits (I swear, at this point, I had no ulterior motives… I was just doing my power lap.) and I’m pretty sure my water broke over the toilet. (Tidy of me, don’t you think?) Elizabeth came hussling in there and said, “Don’t you dare push.” I looked at her to say, “Oh no, I would never do that…” but instead my body said, “Push? Oh that sounds like a lovely idea…. Let’s push.” But my brain said, “No, too soon… pace.” And Elizabeth said, “We need to exam you…. Let’s get you to bed.” And I said, “Can I have the drugs now? I know the drugs will make me not want to push.” Elizabeth, so kind, says, “Let’s exam you first.” And I can tell by the look on her face there will be no drugs today. Your father said at this point I had stopped joking and laughing and my “game face” was on. So I get on the bed & Elizabeth says I am at a 9 and she looks just a little shell shocked. She yells down the hall for “Carol & a delivery cart & I need a little help in here & we are crowning & page Lechner again.” Then Lechner pops into the room like some sort of super hero and then pops out again to change…. I swear he musta changed in the hallway… he was back fast. (He told me yesterday he was hauling ass to get there… swearing at the traffic…. And then the only thing he could think was his scrubs weren’t tied tight enough and his pants would fall down and he’d hit his head and be sprawled out in the corridor in his undies and miss the delivery anyway….) So I’m at a 9 and I’m really, really having to focus to keep myself from pushing. Lechner comes back and as he walks around the end of the bed (not broken down for deliver yet…. The story of our lives…) he grabs the “Blue Goose” bulb booger sucker. I remember thinking that was odd. But I’m feeling better and a little more in control of myself again (Your father said I was totally zoned out, glazed over & had on my satan-face. Me, I was feeling more like your brother must feel when we say, “Are you pooping?” when they were telling me not to push…. No, I’m not pushing…. I really was trying not to push…..) But then I said, “Ok, I’m not pushing… it’s easier…. Or something really coherent like that….” And the doc says, “Doesn’t really matter now….” And I realize what Elizabeth had been doing was holding your head in and it is out and he is suctioning you…. That explains why he grabbed the blue goose as he got there. And then you are there. And I can see (I was kinda up on my elbows and left hip) you come out and cry and Daddy said, “It’s a girl.” And he was crying and laughing and kissing me and saying, “That was too fast. I wasn’t ready.” The doc says, “ The only thing keeping the baby in at all was she had her arm up around her neck… that and the bridge of her nose.”

I just wanted to freeze that moment in time. The beauty of your first little cries and knowing you were safe and whole and perfect. The fleeting moment of terror thinking about being the mother of a teenaged daughter. Seeing that gorgeous ring of black hair and those bright little eyes. Those tiny little frog legs. Shock and awe and more than a little fear about taking you home and being responsible for your tiny little self. Your dragon lady finger nails. That beautifully soft and only slightly mottled pink skin. Those adorable little pearl toes…. Feet impossibly big and incredibly tiny at the same time. All these thoughts in an instant.

The nurse takes you and starts doing all that stuff they do and they are ohhing and ahhing over your round little head and how “dry” you are…. You were ready to come out, dear girl. Lech looks at me and says, “Ok, well, now all we need is a push to get the placenta out and….. (I get all geared up for the “real” work) and oh, never mind… there it is….” I never did get to push. I never got an iv. No pitocin after to get the placenta out…. Nothing…. Not even a need for frozen maxi pads. One tiny little tear on the side that didn’t even warrant a stitch. Obviously, no Jacuzzi (I really did think I’d get to do that this time.) The good things…. No throwing up and no passing out afterwards…. With your brother I spent most of the first day passing out whenever I tried to get up…. With you I got to shower before 10 and was walking around whenever I wanted….. I took an extra-strength Aleve after you were born…. And another one that night to ward off nipple pain….. that’s all the hospital drugs I got.

And you. You were gorgeous from moment one but you just kept getting cuter every hour….. which –I am sure- when I can look back objectively at your first pictures…. I will realize is a blessing.

I’ve managed to shower every day since you were born and we’ve accomplished one “major” goal every day. Well, you know my idea of a “major” goal is successfully managing to vacuum the house or going to the store to buy a sprinkler system and “c” batteries. Goals still on my list include putting the bumper pads in the crib (you sleep in the bassinet) and trimming your nails (I tried to do one, nicked you, barely made you squeak but traumatized me for days…. So Daddy tried, nicked you, and decided you could just wear those gowns with mittens for a few days until we got our nerve back…. So you have two trimmed nails & a scratched face.) Other goals include giving you a bath (maybe this afternoon) and pumping. (My milk came in quite nicely and I’m battling engorgement by wearing a regular bra (not one of those flimsy sleep bras) 24 hours a day… but pumping… pre-prepped by dosing with Aleve…. Would be a good idea.