Ok, it’s getting funnier now….

I had to wait a few days to write about this because it didn’t used to be funny….

I decided to go to Target. Well, I had to go to Target. I was out of newborn diapers. Yes, I know, I said I’d only need one package because I only needed one package with Sweet Boy. Guess what? I’ve learned there are a lot of things about a second baby that are different…. There is no such thing as a veteran mom….. every kid is a new experience. And this kid? She has a skinny & frog-like but very productive ass.

So I grab my sister (we can play man-to-man instead of me dropping back in a 2-on-1 zone) and away we go. Things are going great. We shop. We find. I end up in the changing room once nursing the angry humming bird while Auntie watches Sweet Boy dance in front of the 3-angle mirrors. Sweet Boy learned there IS a naughty chair in Target…. It is by the camping stuff. Don’t run away from mama.

Hot Stuff called and had a big fire so we decided to hang out with Auntie, watch a movie, and eat dinner. Things were going along just fine until Sweet Boy curled up next to me, closed his eyes, snuggled up and…. Began vomiting in fountain-style. All over. On me, on him, on the diaper bag, on the carpet….. so we cleaned up as best we could, rolled down the windows in the car and drove home. Got him in the tub and got a load of puke-laundry going. Fortunately, Darling Girl was sleeping in her car seat…. Scooped her out of the bucket seat and got….. a scoop full of baby poop. Yup, the pants & the car seat were full. How does she do that? I just changed her. So I get her out and cleaned up and get a second load of poop-laundry going and we all decide we’ve had enough. Darling Girl curls up on my lap to nurse & Sweet Boy curls up next to me with a sippy of water & a book for me to read.

Things are going relatively well and I’m thinking how good this story will be to tell later and…. Sweet Boy says, “I. Hate. You.” What? “I. Hate. You.” I know he doesn’t really mean it but I’m devastated anyway. I put him to bed and sit down on the couch to re-examine my parenting skills & style. Did I go wrong somewhere?

Hot Stuff finally gets home around 11:30. I tell him about my day. He asks what movie Sweet Boy watched. Nemo. NEMO. NEMO. Nemo says, “I. Hate. You.” To his father. Ah-hah. Ah-hah!! Hell. Now what? So Hot Stuff has a long talk with SB the next morning and, indeed, Sweet Boy tells him Nemo said it.

Welcome to parenting in my world, right?