Who ARE you??

So I was eating a soy hot dog for lunch at work the other day and all I could think was, "This ketchup tastes funny." And it was NO SALT ketchup and it was really sweet tasting. Not sweet like "ssweeeeeetttt" but sweet like sugary. Not a good thing for a tomato product.

Not once did the thought cross my mind that the funny taste could be from the SOY hot dog.

Love Hate Bathroom Edition

I haven't done a love-hate post since the kitchen.

Here's a shot of the shower.

Love This: Yes, I am a label peeler, why do you ask?? And, yes, we do have LAVA soap in our shower....

Hate This: The shower caddy is starting to break... see the sag. See the hard water deposits and general nastiness on the shower head? I love "moonlight path" shower gel and body lotion but for some reason the rest of the line smells like old lady. Why?

The sink area

Love This: How funny is it that there are THREE different colors of bulbs.

Hate This: Elle, what were we thinking with the paint color? Cluttery little shelf. Cluttery toothbrushes. Cluttery.

Oh look, here's the other side... a FOURTH bulb color....

Yes, it is really 6:17AM.... and yes, I have already been up for an hour.... why??

See the safety first door locker.... and see how ugly the cabinet is....thinking of painting it white..... too bad I failed to photograph the ugly counter tops.... next time.

In case you were thinking the only ugly lights were in the kitchen and bedrooms..... I got TWO of these gorgeous babies in the bathroom....

Love this dresser. Used to be the baby changer. It was an old broken down piece of junk I found and stripped down... I love the color. Missing pulls and all.... I like it.

Hot Stuff stores his work clothes here (so he doesn't wake any stray children sleeping in our bedroom when he leaves in the middle of the night for a fire) but this, this drives me nuts.

This is my new "happy-birthday-to-you" toilet seat. So much nicer and more hygenic than the padded one before. And, yes, there are a lot of Eastman's Hunting Journals on our pot. And yes, those are looks-like-corel-ware flowers on the linoleum.

This is what you look at while sitting on the can at our house. Ew, ew, cluttery mess. The bottom shelf is a basket of boy jammies. The next is girl jammies and baby blankets. And on and on..... messy, messy, messy. There isn't much to love about this... except the snoboy box on top hiding the toilet paper. I love that box. Got it for $3 at a garage sale... the guy gave me a deal if I promised to take all the junk IN the box too.... so I did... and found some real treasures in there... including a wrench that FIXED OUR TOILET one time.... ah, good times, good times....

Let's talk baby butts.

Yesterday I sent my daughter to daycare with zinc-oxide based diaper cream on her face. What? ALL those adorable round cheeks get chapped in the fall.

So let's talk bum rash today, shall we?

My kids have never been prone to butt rash. (As I type that I can hear Sweet Boy saying, "Don't say butt, mama, it's a naughty word.") We did have the horrible-month-of-rash back in Oct 2005 but other than that it has been pretty smooth sailing. Some moms (good moms) put diaper creme on the bum every changing... since my kids are lucky to get a diaper wipe every changing maybe I'm not the best one to discuss this topic. Heck, my kids are lucky to get changed more than once a day. You think I kid.

And seriously, cream or creme??

So, here, for your amusement are my favorites:

Burt's Bee's: Love the smell. Kinda thick and very white paste. I have a tube with the old foil tube packaging... which splits and oozes but I think it is in plastic tubes now. I've been known to rub it on my feet and put socks on... and then there are the baby's other cheeks that need moisturizing....who doesn't love a multi-tasking product?

A&D: I have the clear ointment and I like how smooth is glides on. I've always wanted to say that.... see how Smooth it Glides On?? hee-hee. Thank you, internet, for amusing me.

Basic Vaseline in a tube: Great for bums, cuticles, lips... you name it. Although I think the tube I have now is actually non-petroleum based un-jelly rather than true vaseline.

For horrific diaper rash: Nothing beats a bare bum. So you have to mop up the linoleum once in a while.... bare butts rule. Also aveeno oatmeal soak (or oatmeal in a sock if you're cheap and lazy like me...) I've used the hair dryer on butts, corn starch and put a piece of fleece in diapers. I've also made my best friend's husband buy yeast treatment at Albertson's for my poor babe. We had the applicator sticks as bath toys for a long time after that one. For truly horrible rash there is a perscription ointment that I hear works wonders.

So what are you slathering on you baby's bottom? And what are your best multi-tasking stories?

Breakfast in the Bathroom

Thomas can bite me.

Oh I regret the day I said, "Well, if you want to get him Thomas get him the classic wooden stuff and not the plastic stuff."

It isn't like the kid has a ton of Thomas. He has the figure-8 set, the fire station crew and Harold the Helicoptor. Of course, of those pieces FOUR were in the June recall. So I, dutifully, removed them from his sister's mouth and put them in a big padded envelope with the proper forms and mailed them away.... June 19th.

Around the end of September I realized I hadn't gotten a "confirmation email" regarding my toys. So I called the 800 number. No record of me. Someone will call back by the end of next week.

A month later. Still no phone call. No email. No toys. I'm not planning to waste a lot of energy on this.... the kid would rather play with my sewing machine than the train set but I'm willing to make one more phone call. Nothing. No record. Can I fax the form I sent? Sure.

I get this:

From: recalls@rc2corp.com
Subject: Thomas Wooden Vehicle Recall
Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2007 10:22:37 -0500

Dear HOMESTEAD,

We wanted to let you know that we received the items you have returned to RC2 Corporation in response to our voluntary recall. Please be assured that we are working diligently to replace your product in a timely manner. In the meantime, if you need to contact us regarding your replacement, please use Reference Number xxx.

You can also check the status of your order by visiting RC2Corp Thomas Recall Order Status. You will need your Reference Number to access the site.

The trust you have placed in the Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway brand is very important to us. We want you to know that we fully understand and share your concerns and are dedicated to safeguarding that trust. Since our recall announcement a few weeks ago, we've focused on three primary objectives:

1. Recovery of products subject to the recall

2. Determination of what happened

3. Thorough review of our processes and procedures to prevent it from happening again and to assure consumers that our products are safe.

We are making progress on all three objectives, and we deeply appreciate your patience and loyalty during this time.

Regards,
RC2 Corporation

I don't care. My kids are getting bubble wrap and cardboard boxes for Christmas this year. How about yours??

Fire…. Things.

Several totally unrelated thoughts that are loosely tied together around the theme of fire.

Freaked Hot Stuff out last night by letting Sweet Boy carry a giant carved pumpkin containing what appeared to be a lit candle.

Also freaked out the in-laws by rolling said pumpkin across the table sideways.

…. Ya gotta love fake candles from the dollar store.

A house burned when the owner was grilling on the deck and a propane hose blew off. Totalled the house. I vow to no longer make fun of Hot Stuff when he grills in the middle of our giant gravel driveway.

Hot Stuff did NOT go to California to fight fires. His agency did not get a request. And, after the 2003 trip for the Cedar Fire, he swore off ever fighting fires in CA again. They, um, don’t follow the law. They don’t follow federal work-to-rest ratios and, in general, injure and kill more wildland firefighters than most anyone else. And fighting fires with such a crazy urban interface is, well, shitty. Besides…. It was the first week of hunting season.

I’ve requested two permanent fire ladders from Santa. The kind that anchor to the roof and can be rolled down for fire escapes. (But they make lots of noise when you roll them down… I’m not completely stupid… My kids will have to work harder than that to sneak out of the house when they are teenagers….) I’m also requesting some sort of combo/keypad door unlocker for the “front” door. IF there was a serious fire in our house I imagine it would be by the pellet stove or in the kitchen. The absolutely quickest way out if the stairs are blocked would be to go out SB’s window and down the fire escape, then run back in through the front door which opens across the way from Darling Girl’s bedroom. Does that make any sense? The problem….. the front door would be locked. You could run around the house to the glass-paned back door and break in but if the fire was in the kitchen or pellet stove you would be blocked from getting to her room. You see my problem with having bedrooms on two different floors? Anyone else have any brilliant fire escape plan ideas??

We had m&m's for breakfast, how 'bout you??