Monday, July 09, 2007

*** I have "Awwww...... RESCUE PACK... Coming to the rescue...." STUCK in my head... please, amputate my brain NOW. And someone please remind me not to use DIEGO as a babysitter ever again.


*** Sweet Boy looked at me yesterday and, out of no-where, says,"Mama, boys don't have boobies." I pause. I look at him. Really. "Boys have pecto-roar-al muscles, mom. Boys have muscles." "Well, then, son, what are those little 'squito bites on your chest there??" "I don't know. But they don't have holes in them so I can't feed my baby with them.... only girls can do that."


*** Hot Stuff came home, tired, and almost tripped over the little grey stool sitting in the middle of the living room (and not in the usual spot by the doorway) and gave me "the look" about it. I said nothing and pointed. Yes, Darling Girl has a New Trick. I'm not going to be the one to stifle her creativity or her chances of becoming a performance artist so I am left with two options.... put the stool in the middle of the room or make the kid wear a helmet. On second thought... that helmet isn't such a bad idea....

*** In the name of trying to be a woman and a mommy I thought possible bringing out the bronze goddess would give me a little confidence boost so I bought some Aveeno lotion with a hint of tanner. Sweet Boy walked in the bathroom this morning and said, "Mom. It smells a little funny in here." I think I'll stick to shoe shopping or something.


*** I blasted a bit of the house with goo-gone's house wash. I'm sure that shit is toxic but, wow, did it every take the pellet stove soot stains off the porch ceiling.

*** SB, DG & I went to a little girl's birthday party on Saturday. It's a daycare friend so I didn't know anyone there beyond nodding aquaintance as we are gathing our children. Hot Stuff says, in all sincerity, "Have FUN at the party!!" I had to give him the look. There was no alcohol at this party. I spent the whole time worrying about how to put sunscreen on my little ghost-babies without looking like competi-mommy (Why aren't YOU slathering your children with at least a shot glass of sunscreen every 2 hours??? No, seriously, you don't need to do it.... it's just, well, LOOK at how pale my kids are.... I know.... I'm not sure they are mine either....) and laughing at my daughter walking like a hunch back and always heading for the water features in the yard.... but trying not to let her walk because the son in this family is several months older than DG and isn't walking and I heard the grandfather make some comment about it and LORD KNOWS that mom doesn't need my kid adding to her stress.... right? That makes sense sort-of, doesn't it??

*** Sweet Boy has a new "look" wearing his baseball cap backwards. If you ask him why he will carefully explain it is to keep the ice cream off the bill of his cap when we go to Dairy Queen. Yes, we've been to Dairy Queen twice this week. Yes, it is 95 degrees here. No, that's not so very hot to people from the South but WE AREN'T FROM THE SOUTH, are we??

*** Hot Stuff mentioned last night -as casually as possible- that he might be ready to get a pair of kittens. Good thing I've been working on my poker face.

*** Monday night is the first night of swimming lessons. I'm planning to pack a little picnic since lessons are 5:00-5:30 and we will probably want to swim more after. I hope all goes well. SB was very brave and a great swimmer last summer... jumping off the diving board and all. Now I can't get him to put his face in the water or jump off the side into my arms. He must have realized his mortality or something. I just try to act like I love the water (you know I don't) and be an encouraging but not demanding mom. I don't plan to flip out and enroll him in expensive private once-a-week lessons for several months until he can out-swim everyone in the pool like a certain other mom I know did..... oh, have I mentioned how well my little niece is swimming these days? I can't compete but it is very hard not to try. I like to think I pick up the slack by packing a fun picnic and being a fun mom. Right? Ok, well, failing that.... I look better in my Land's End mom-suit than you do....

*** I pink-puffy-heart-with-sprinkles-on-top LOVE our portable air conditioner.

*** My amazing watering system is almost complete. Pictures soon. Now I want to rip out another section of grass and put in another flower bed because when you water them?!?! The flower beds look great.

*** Next weekend my daughter turns one. ONE. What the hell?!?!

*** Yes, thank you for asking for the birthday party we WILL be having chocolate cake. And, yes, there WILL be alcohol....

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