Darling Girl and her namesake Auntie.

Same nose. Same cheeks (although you can't see it here). Same deep-set eyes. These two are roughly the same age. That scares the fuck out of me. Maybe naming her after her Auntie Niki wasn't such a wise idea....

She's at her fighting weight and training hard...

4 month shots yesterday..... she was a champ.

The stats
Head: 50th percentile 16"
Height: 75th percentile 25"
Weight: 90th percentile 13#7oz

I've never really gotten into the "percentile" race.... except this time because it is so funny.... and, of course, it makes me feel superior regarding my milk production.

And my doctor gave me a stroller. What? A very nice double-jogger. Obviously I'm his best patient. I think I deserve it. I think he owes me.... he must feel guilty for the 4.3 minutes it took me to deliver Darling Girl.... and he didn't really do anything except suction the ook out of her nose..... so I got a stroller. Bonus.

Don't question these things. Just know I lead a charmed life.

She isn't just a Blob anymore....

Darling Girl has been doing that I'm-going-to-make-a-comma-shape-by-arching-my-back thing a lot lately.... usually trying to chase her paci into her gummy little face.

Last night.... yes, on Erection Night.... while Hot Stuff and I avoided the last of the political mumbo-jumbo by watching Deadwood on dvd (What Sweet Boy was in bed and Darling Girl won't be TOO warped by the violence & language.... will she??).... she ROLLED OVER.

Back to front over her left arm.

I didn't believe it so I put her on her back and SHE DID IT AGAIN.

And then she grabbed the dog by the ear and he licked her full on the face (much to her delight and my horror), then he looked at me and said, "What? She came to me."

HELP

Car seats.

Oh car seats.

What to do about car seats.

First, the scene:

Child One: approx 30 months (2.5 years), 35 lbs, tallish.
Child Two: approx 4 months, 16 lbs or so, tallish.

The situation:

Child Two is in a bucket seat and, based on my current predictions, will be in it until March-April or so. AT THAT TIME.... we need to decide our next car seat configuration. Child One currently has THREE car seats. A Britax Roundabout (Because we are nothing if not gullible yuppie wanna-bes.... and it was low-profile and on sale.), an Evenflo something-or-other (it looks like a papasan chair.. maybe this) & an Eddie Bauer over-the-head bar seat that I can't find a picture of but it doesn't really matter....

So can Child One graduate to some sort of booster seat soon? Any suggestions? I want, of course, safety first but I also really want low-profile (think two car seats & a dog in the back seat of a Toyota). And I want.... cheap.

There I admit it. I want cheap. And I want convenient. And I'm looking for the best compromise of safe, cheap & convenient. (I say this because I felt a lot of guilt over turning Child One's car seat forward facing at 13 months when I learned my sister-in-law was horrified and couldn't believe it.... she is ALL ABOUT safety. So the next time she visited we let Sweet Boy drive home from Nana & Papa's.... we're rural like that.)

So advice, criticism, website referrals and honest opinions would be welcome.

Hey, hey family and friends.....

My baby sister is going to Vegas. She leaves the day before Thanksgiving for an eight day competition for Miss Rodeo America.

Here's the request. Please send cards & e-mail in support.

To assure delivery to Cassidy, please send them BY NOVEMBER 23rd to the following:

c/o Jody Rempel
National Director
1405 US Hwy 89
Fort Shaw MT 59443

You can email her any time at missrodeomontana2006@yahoo.com

This is going to be an exhausting week for her and she will really appreciate a little love.... and while you're at it... if you aren't from Montana and your state has a queen.... send her a little love too. These girls really do work hard.... It ain't all about lookin' good in your wranglers..... they're smart too.

OK people.... the elections are OVER.

Take down the damn yard signs.

On and Off Again

This weekend Hot Stuff learned what many people who regularly wear jewelry or are married already know…. Rings go on easier than they come off.

Poetic, isn’t it, that he discovered he couldn’t get his wedding ring off? I mean, hey, I don’t ever want him to WANT to take his wedding ring off, right? But….. His job makes it dangerous for him to wear his ring so he usually has it on a chain around his neck. Last week he went to a conference and decided to wear his ring on his finger. Well, apparently, that little “jam” he suffered this summer…. The one that was so insignificant he didn’t even tell me about it….. yeah… I’m pretty sure he broke his finger. I palpated it. (Lord, I love saying that.) Yes, I palpated and, while I’m no expert, I can feel a lumpy spot. (Hey, that was fun to say too.)

So we tried lube. (hee-hee) And ice. (hoo-hoo) And lubed ice tugging with a terrycloth towel. All the while I was taunting him for having TWO broken bones and cataract surgery (again) in the last six months….. words like fragile, precious, dainty and delicate. As you can see, I am one to enjoy my man’s suffering.

So we went to our favorite local jeweler…. The ones who have our credit card number on speed dial….. and they used a little tiny can open (er… circular saw) to cut his finger off…. I mean…. His ring off. Miracle of miracles they didn’t cut through the inscription. (It says “Hey, put this back on” Ok, no not really….) They measured him and figured out a plan to repair the ring (I missed that part….. small son said, “Mom, I gotta PEE.” And we were off on a mad-dashed race to find a bathroom…. Successfully.)

And all ends well….. Hot Stuff feels just horrible about having the ring cut off but, hey, in the greater scheme of things I’m still the big loser…. I LOST his great-grandmother’s wedding band…. He just got a little over-zealous about showing those conference sluts he was a married man.

Pondering Milk

I noticed the other little one at my daycarista’s was using a medela bottle too. You know…. Those clear plastic ones with the yellow tops that you consider, in a bleary-eyed pre-coffee state, using as creamer out of the fridge at work. So I asked if I needed to do anything special to mark my bottles. She said my standard pen-n-tape marking was fine and she also noted she could usually tell our milk apart because of the color. The other mom’s was white-blue-white and mine was creamy. I, of course, took “creamy” as code for “yellowish-and-possibly-substandard” so I did an internet search and found this and then emailed my source-for-all-things-baby (and, interestingly, the source of many of my medela bottles) and asked if it was normal to have milk that looks like vanilla slim-fast.

SHE said my milk was perfect and the buttery color (buttery…. I love that term… it sounds so much better than smoker’s-cough yellow) was from high fat content and my chestages were producing a superior product. Her own milkage (which nursed three chubby wee ones and countless others when she donated a freezer full of frozen milk to la leche) was the color of hazelnut creamer. So I got the thumbs up for being a vanilla creamer kinda girl.

I also learned drinking green gatorade can tint the milk. How cool will that be for St. Patrick’s Day???

I am 3.

Thinking of the Future.....

If I were a celebrity I would have children to wear as an excessory to my latest fabulous outfit.

But I'm not.

I'm a Redneck.

So I have children in hopes their wrestling moves will make them big stars on Friday Night Smackdown and they will buy mama a new trailer.....

I was wondering.....

Nursing is a surge that sustains my baby and energizes me..... pumping is a drain the makes me tired and gives me a dry mouth. Why IS that??

This is for anyone who wonders where my kids get that look......

Fall

*Photo by Hot Stuff

Big Boy Pants

Subtitled: Has that chair been water-sealed??

PT

"My son understood the concept of potty training instantly."

"Oh, that stuff about boys being harder to train than girls is hooey."

"I got him a toy he really wanted and then don't let him have it until he was trained.... it only took two days."

"I bought the singing potty. My son was trained and showing off his new "skills" in half a day."

"I just let him pee off the porch like daddy."

"Pull-Ups worked really well for me."

"Plain undies worked really well for me."

"Once he learned that being wet is uncomfortable he stopped peeing himself."

"I got him cute undies with Super Heroes on them."

These are all quotes by mothers-in-potty-training (MIPT's). Not THIS mother. But mothers. What I want to know is WHO is actually being TRAINED here.....



Potty Training Hazmat Status Day 8: Safe around the house and on short trips.... but don't plan a marathon project without first installing a Pull-Up..... and if he's playing hard or napping all bets are off.....

Baby Notes.....

Ok, so if you are struggling for a baby gift and don't mind forking over a bit of cash, check out these books. Sweet Boy has one and he loves to see his name in it.

I'm also a big fan of the chambray sheets from Pottery Barn. I think the link is here.... I have a crib sheet and I LOVE it..... although the baby doesn't appreciate me crawling into bed with her.... maybe I should add that to my Christmas list....

Christmas is coming......

I'm ready to be done Christmas shopping.

In our little corner of the world lists are a NECESSITY. Seriously. If you don't give me a list, you won't get a present.... unless you are my brother..... then you are getting new Wranglers and a University of Montana Grizzlies sweatshirt.... (Don't worry.... I'm still patiently waiting for my 2005 Christmas present AND my 2004, 2005 & 2006 Birthday presents.....)

Dear Santa-

I'm asking for a popcorn popper, smartwool socks & a new pair of jeans. Hot Stuff wants a gun safe, pickup seat covers, reloading equipment & UnderArmor clothing..... no, what he really wants is Capital Sports gift certificates. Darling Girl wants long-sleeved onsies for under her overalls, a new daycare diaper bag, pampers & a helmet (life with a brother is rough.) Sweet Boy wants Bambi II, Lilo & Stitch, long underwear & lumber for the swingset. (Will a 2x4 fit in a stocking?? Stay tuned to find out....) We could also use an automatic starter for the pellet stove. Hot stuff gets lint roller refills every year from the cat..... clever little thing, and the dog, for some reason, gets him new dishrags every year.... a 3-pack. I can't explain it. Our pets know us so well.

12 Weeks.....

Damn. The Darling One is 12 weeks old. I've been working quite a few hours a week in the past few weeks so I can "ease" into this whole back-to-work thing. I will be up to 3 days in the office next week.

It's also part of my not-so-secret plan to cut my hours to 30 (or less). Call it a test-run if you will. Can I get enough work done in 3 days in the office and working from home the other 6 hours or so??

Paychecks-be-damned, I like hanging out with my kids.

So, internet, I challenge YOU to come up with some serious money-saver ideas for the KEEP THE HOME IN HOMESTEAD campaign. What's the single most important thing you've done that saves you cash??

Things I'm already doing and/or can't or won't do:

1. Groceries: Buying beef whole (cheaper AND yummier), freezing mass quantities of garden produce from my grandpa (Bumper crop of tomatoes this year....), eating a lot of egg salad (eggs are on sale a lot and make cheap meals),
2. Livestock: I will not buy a goat. Although Sweet Boy drinks enough milk to keep one in production round-the-clock. I refuse to have a child who's biggest kindergarten fascination is the fact that milk comes in cartons. (Ok, ok, I admit..... it BOGGLED me to see milk in cartons when I started school.)
3. Clothing: Not a lot of shopping going on around here. I do buy Lands End tshirts on clearance for work but that's about it. SB & DG are clothed almost 100% in hand-me-downs and Hot Stuff wears fire pants & t-shirts for work.
4. Media: Ok, our biggest expense? Probably movie late fees. Seriously. So we try not to get new releases. We don't have cable or satellite tv.... Rabbit ears. Yes. Rabbit ears. We get two channels downstairs and mmmaaaayyyyybeeeee one or two more upstairs if it is cloudy. We have a land line phone, 2 cell phones & dial-up internet and I've tried to talk myself out of internet service but I haven't been able to give it up.. although I am looking into juno.com or peoplepc.com... anyone have any experience there? We can't give up the land-line because cell phones don't work at our house. I won't give up the cell phones because I need to be able to get ahold of Hot Stuff on fires and his work is too cheap to provide him with a phone... we could get rid of the second phone but it would only save us $10/month (on a $65/month bill) so that isn't something I'm considering right now.
5. Unrealistic expectations: I just put my health club membership on permanent hold ($41/month) although we do use it enough to justify getting a couple of punch-passes ($8/visit) to use the pool.
6. Snacks: I don't drink fancy coffee or eat lunch out. We rarely go out to dinner. We only order pizza for special events. Hot Stuff does have a particular dill pickle sunflower seed addiction that eats up some funds but I'm willing to tolerate it since it replaces the Copenhagen addiction.
7. Utilities: We don't pay water or sewer. Electricity and propane are high but we try to use our pellet stove for most of our heating. We buy 2 tons (that's 100 bags) of pellets early in the fall (they are cheaper then and drier so they burn more efficiently) and that is enough for the winter.
8. Hot Stuff generally drives the Toyota car since he has the longer commute. I drive the Jeep but we are considering trading it in for a Subaru car to save gas mileage. Yes, I'd rather get another little car but, unfortunately, there are times we need 4WD to get out of our yard.... not often, but enough.
9. I'm planning to "shop" our insurance for our house and vehicles to see if I can get better rates... any suggestions??
10. I've already stopped changing the baby's diaper (kidding, geez, relax....) and Sweet Boy is aaaalllllmmmmmoooosssstttt potty trained. That will be a surprisingly big help.... (although I did drop $17 for a SINGING potty to, ahem, encourage the situation..... please don't ask......)
11. I'll add things as you guys come up with brilliant suggestions......

The well-trained spouse.

Go read this.

Then read the comments.

What do you think???

ABC Meme

This is one of those things that goes around…..

Accent – None…. But for some reason my siblings & I slip into some sort of colloquial Rez/Canuk thing when we are together. Have you ever heard gulla? Like that.

Booze of choice – Vodka & grapefruit. Whisky & 7up. Red wine. Good beer. Red beer. Gin & tonic. The occassional margarita.

Chore I hate – Cleaning the floors.

Dog or cat – I have a dog who has a cat.

Essential electronics – ipod.

Favorite cologne – wildfires & chainsaw gas.

Gold or silver? – white gold.

Hometown – The Hi-Line, Montana.

Insomnia? – No.

Job title – Other Duties As Assigned.

Kids – two… and a very spoiled dog.

Living arrangement – House in a ‘burb….. although the insurance company defines us as a “small farm.”

Most admired trait – I think I’m freakin’ hilarious.

Number of sexual partners – at a time? Geez, just one…. But the dog likes to watch….

Overnight hospital stays – Uh, let me think…. My knee twice and my back once, and having kids…. That makes 5.

Phobias – I’m afraid I’ll jump off of high things.

Quote – “I’m going to go clorox my frontal lobe now…”

Religion – Catholic. Catholic. Catholic.

Siblings – 2. One gorgeous sister and one dorky brother…. Although we all know he’s just a half-sibling…. Talk to the UPS man about that…..

Time I wake up – 2 seconds after the baby starts snorting.

Unusual talent – I can’t talk about that… my brother reads this blog.

Vegetable I refuse to eat – I don’t really like cabbage.

Worst habit – Talking too much.

X-rays – Yes, and I can see through your clothes too….

Yummy foods I make – tacos, calzones & cinnamon rolls.

Zodiac sign – Virgo. ‘Splains a lot, doesn’t it??