Monday, June 27, 2005

An artist and a rant

Ok, first, I want to present one of my favorite artists.

Rez 'rWrecktion

Please. Tell me you can look at this stuff and not think it is just fucking cool.

Next. Well. I had a huge rant going on in my head about closed minds and art and culture and diversity and.... well, I'd love to tell you all about it but the baby is calling, the weather is good, I have half a day off and I want to go create a little art of my own.... in the garden.

A Joke from the Beer Fairy

Do you know why domestic beer is like sex in a canoe?

PAX is gonna be WB!!!

Do you know what this means?

Ok. Background. We’re Rednecks….. is that news to anybody? But we are Special Rednecks….’cause we’re Educated Rednecks. (and, yes, we do know what an “oxymoron” is…) And not just community-college-two-year-associates-degree-in-welding educated… we are talking nationally acclaimed liberal arts college educated. But wait… I brag & I digress. So, as Rednecks we claim stubborn, poor but proud, hard-working and creative as our birthright.

What does this mean?

Well, we don’t have cable. And, I was thrilled to discover, neither do other people we know.

We can’t get cable where we live… or DSL… or anything but satellite. And (see “poor but proud” above) we have chosen to live on (and pay for) our overpriced-but-delightful homestead rather than have some of the more common modern expenses like satellite or car payments or memberships to the wine-of-the-month club. (Although I’m still hoping for that as a Christmas gift… anyone?)

In the past, we lived in town and got 6 tv stations. ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, PBS & the religion channel. Then FOX turned into PAX and we got more than our needed dose of “Diagnosis Murder.” In our current home we can get NBC & PAX on the tv in the living room via rabbit ears. Upstairs we get CBS & ABC. Gone are the days of watching “Red Green” and “Antiques Roadshow” because we can’t get PBS anywhere in the house. I miss Red. I don’t really miss that toothy guy on the religion channel… he made me nervous.

But… HERE’S THE NEWS PEOPLE…. PAX is turning into The WB.

What does this mean?

Well, I’m not sure since I’ve never really seen The WB…. But it can’t be worse than PAX, can it?

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Beer Fairy Strikes Again

This time it was a bottle of Full Sail Amber and TWO bottles of Obsidian Stout. I love this game. She also left a can of Mountain Dew…. I’m not sure what that is about so I’m giving it to my husband.

How do I know the beer fairy is a she? ‘Cause a male beer fairy woulda left Bud Lite at our house.

I miss my camera.

Have I mentioned how much I love my husband? That gorgeous and adorable man got the EXTENED WARRANTY when he bought the camera. I can break it until 2007!!! So all that stress was alleviated when I walked into the store and they looked up the info… after the standard confusion of deciding what name my husband had used when registering…. He uses a couple and I use a couple…. Loads of fun. I handed over the camera and they promised to take care of me. I hope they aren’t lying. Added incentive to help me since I happen to be the store manager’s land lord.

Oh, and can I just add… the on-line tech support for Canon SUCKS.

I would have posted more but I’ve been to busy partying…..

Saturday we went day-camping (some people call that a picnic) at Kading Campground. It was a bit too chilly for shorts up in the mountains but we had lots of fun and ate ham & fried chicken. The creek is all blown out from the recent rain so there was no point in trying to fish it but I took along my fly rod anyway…

Sunday we had tons of family to our house for lasagna and picnic leftovers. Good thing we had plates & plastic utensils left over from the weekends before.

We also had a big ass house warming party this month. We put my father-in-law to work as the grill man and got a keg of Blackfoot Brewery’s Driftboat Amber. I had no idea we had so many friends.

Throw into the mix Sweet Boy’s first birthday party and a few other random family and friends visits…..
And the fun never stops…. My best friend will be here next week with her clan of children…. Margaritas and egg hunting for everyone.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The things we do for love.


The things we do for love.
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
5 seconds before The Perfect Family. Let me just say, in my defense, it was kinda humid and I need a haircut and I intended to put my hair up but didn't quite have time.....

Click.


Click
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
The perfect family.

Go. Go. Go.


A mama and her boy
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
This is what we do for fun on a Saturday. And please, don't comment on my hair.... I know it looks like hell.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Power Player


Power Player
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
Please take note of the horrible, horrible RIGHT-HANDEDNESS of my child.

Also note the DYSON box behind him.... yes, we got an anniversary-mother'sday-father'sday-birthdays gift. It Rocks in Socks. There was a whole 'nother dog in that sexy clear canister when I was done. And it is turquoise and purple WITH SPARKLES. Can you imagine anything dreamier??

Gunnar Sit


Gunnar Sit
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
Ok, since the camera is out of commission I will post old doggie photos... a day early.

Lil Sister


Lil Sister
Originally uploaded by Homestead.

Here she is.... in all her glory. (I promise one with a chainsaw soon..... camera is being "evaluated" by a professional....)

Betcha didn't know Rednecks wore sunglasses like that....

Things My Sister Said.

Yesterday we were shopping for a new dress for me (Hot Husband & Sweet Boy were there too) and she was overheard saying, "Well, that fire extinguisher won't put out flaming metal."

She also likes to quote Bob, the helicopter pilot and say, “A Chinook helicopter looks like two Hueys humping a dumpster.”

“Maybe it is more fun if you don’t have teeth.” On why babies like pacifiers so much…. Followed, of course, by test-driving the paci and not really enjoying it all that much...

Friday, June 10, 2005

Check out the Chucks


New Kicks Pic 2
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
Great Grandpa got his favorite (and only ) great-grandson some new shoes.... check it out, dude.

Party Guy


Party Guy
Originally uploaded by Homestead.
Just testing this thing to see if it is worth standing in....

My sister cut down a tree yesterday...

…. All by herself.

She's very proud.

It was a big deal.

Her "saw muscles" are sore today.

By the end of the day, she could barely hold her chainsaw.

I hope she took pictures.

Why is everything technical in my life going to shit?

I think the power steering belt in my car is loose. Add that to the list of things to get fixed.

My sewing machine is toast.

My camera is down. I think (hope) it is the battery. They are expensive but not as bad as a new camera. The lcd screen no longer lights up… just for a few minutes when the camera is fully charged and then it goes dark. Still takes pictures but it is darn hard to delete pictures on the camera when you can’t see the menu screens. I have a lot of projects counting on me getting my camera fixed because, of course, I want before and after pictures.

The coffee pot no longer has the “pause-n-serve” function. I discovered this today when I pulled the pot out to pour a quick cup for the guy-with-the-cute-ass as he was heading out the door.

The dishwasher leaves a strange foggy film on plastic containers and glassware.

The receiver for my stereo died… with smoke.

All (three) thermometers in our house have dead batteries.

The air conditioning in the Dodge is failing.

The lawn mower…. Don’t get me started on the lawn mower.

The electric cat litter box died. I am very sad about this.

The toy chainsaw (that I just bought) quit… but it may have taken a small flight off the porch.

It is like I have some strange electric current around me that makes all things mechanical just DIE when I am in the room.

This is for Sierrabella….

…Because everybody could use a little assvice.

Deer Resistant Plants

According to California Extension Leaflet #2167 and other sources the
following plants are considered deer resistant:

An online version is available, with links to the plants we carry.
http://www.highcountrygardens.com/articles/deerresistant.html

Perennial
Allium(Onions)
Althea(Hollyhock)
Alyssium saxatile
Anemones(Windflower)
Aubrietia
Berlandiera(Chocolate Flower)
Cerastiim(Snow-in-Summer)
Coreopsis
Delphinium
Digitalis(Foxglove)
Epimedium
Helianthus(Sunflower)
Iris(Bearded Iris)
Lamium(Dead Nettle
Oenothera(Evening Primrose)
Papaver(Poppy)
Petalostemon(Prairie Clover)
Ratibida(Prairie Coneflower)
Rudbeckia(Black-eyed Susan)
Solidago(Golden Fleece)
Solidago(Fireworks Goldenrods)
Spaeralcea(Orange Globe Mallow)
Stachys(Lamb's-ears)
Vinca(Myrtle)
Zauschneria(Hummingbird Flower)

Herbs
Anthum graveolens (Dill)
Mentha(Mint)

Shrubs & Trees
Berberis(Barberry)
Buddleia
Coloneaster
Cerocarpus(Mahogany)
Chamaebatiera(Fernbush)
Forsythia
Juniperus(Juniper)
Mahonia(Oregon Grape)
Picea(Spruce)
Potentilla(Cinquefoil)
Syringa(Common Lilac)

I’ve also heard:
Artemisia
Cistus
Feather reed grass (Calamagrostis)
Germander
Lavender
Mexican hair grass (Stipa)
Potentilla
Rosemary
Santoline
Thyme
Yarrow
Aromatic helichrysum
New Zealand flax

In my yard I have: peonies, daisies, grape hyacinth, daffodils, chives, bee balm, thyme, mint, silver mound, salvia, Russian sage, columbine, anemone, bleeding heart, iris, sedum, hollyhocks, cosmos, lily of the valley, paprika yarrow… the deer seem to leave it all alone and I occasionally mist everything with deer repellent… the minty kind.

The deer ate my tulips (I’m transplanting them somewhere that I can net for next year). I have spinach, delphinium & asters growing under nets. I planted some annuals, basil & cilantro in pots on the deck and I have two roses in whiskey barrels on the deck.
I plan to add more wildflowers next summer but I will try to stick with things on the list. Except sweetpeas…. I want sweetpeas. I might have to build a big planter on the deck for those or create another deer-net sculpture to protect them.

My mother-in-law lives up the road a ways and the deer eat her daffodils & bleeding heart…. Go figure.

Oh, and can I just add that I love the highcountrygardens.com website?

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A little lesson.....

There’s a moose in the neighborhood. All the more motivation to get a new battery to fix the camera. This is wwaaaaayyyyyy less scary to me than the bear that was in the neighborhood….. Why? I think, statistically, more people are harmed by moose than bears and moose are definitely bigger than bears…. this bear anyway. Bears just want to get into the garbage cans.

And there is a badger living at the curve down the road and badgers are mean. Really mean. Forget “Wind in the Willows” and all that….. badgers will eat your shit if given half a chance.

But I don’t mind badgers half as much as the stupid feral cat that sprayed all the pellet bags in the lean-to. Nasty. I woulda 5-pumped that cat with the bb gun if my husband would honor my wishes and get me a bb gun. 5-pumps…. that’d sting.

He won’t get me a bb gun because he’s afraid I’ll shoot at the deer to keep them out of the tulips. I won’t shoot the deer because the deer eat the leaves off the lawn and I like that and I’m transplanting all the tulips to one spot so I can net them and only gardening with “deer resistant” perennials in the rest of the yard.

I’m no redneck bb gun freak. I know you can only 3-pump and aim below the shoulders on a human target. I’ve never torn apart a vacuum cleaner bag to get out bb’s to shoot at the neighbor’s dog when it was chasing my horse. (Hhhmmmm…. I wonder who did that…. Does he, by chance, desire to drive a Travelall???)

Truth be told…. I have a soft spot for the deer…. There is a reason for the term “doe eyes” and I’ve seen it. They are like little kids. They give you that look and you just have to forgive them for turning the front flower bed into an all-you-can-eat buffet. I even forgive the big buck for beating the hell out of my evergreen when he was in rut last fall. It was a pretty funny sight once I figured out what all the ruckus was about. I wonder what he would do if I got one of those fancy juniper topiaries all trimmed up to look like a doe…. On second thought… I don’t want to think about it.

So, just to recap, there is a moose on the loose and I’m going to try to get some pictures.

And that is my Wildlife Lesson of the Day for you.

I keep planning to write about our vacation but it seems like so long ago now….

We went with the whole famdamily to Cannon Beach, OR. My mom-in-law loves the ocean and it was a tiny family reunion for her side of the family. So we have a lot of folks (most of whom I’ve never met or only met at our wedding) descending on this little town pre-tourist season. We did it up right.

By my count there were 18 people. The original 4 cousins plus their spouses. Then their kids (4 kids made the event, plus 3 spouses) and then the next generation….Sweet Boy & his two girl cousins.

The rest of our family drove (2 days) but we flew. (That is the payoff for using a frequent flyer credit card for all of our gas & groceries for the past many years.) Flying with a small person wasn’t as horrible as it could have been….

I, of course, drew the ticket with the “SS” on it…. I think that means “Seize & Search.” So I am being questioned about the Cheerios race car in my pocket & why my entire spinal area makes the wand go “bbbzzzz” while #1 Husband wrangles the kid, the diaper bag, the contents of his pockets and his hiking boots through security. Is there any graceful way to handle it? It was like a bad Three Stooges flick. And, of course, Helena International Airport is under construction so everything is taking place surrounded by scaffoldings and black tarps. Oh, and here in Redneckia, we walk out on the “tarmac” to get on the “airplane” to take off. We were on one of the little planes… of course. As luck (and nasal decongestant) would have it, Sweet Boy fell asleep for the entire flight to Salt Lake. The flight & car rental & drive to Cannon Beach went well. Gorgeous green country.

We rented a couple of houses on the beach. We walked on the sand. We gossiped by the fire while it rained. We drank.

These people know food & wine. We ate. And we ate. And we drank. It was fun! Sweet Boy got to try abalone (he liked it) and smoked salmon (not so yummy) and this amazing seafood stew stuff (it has a name I can’t think of) that Uncle G put together.

One cousin (We’ll call him Abercrombie because he could, truly, model for Abercrombie & Fitch…. I guess that means we call his girlfriend, Fitch, doesn’t it?) got engaged that weekend so we all took lots of romantic pictures of them on the beach. His brother, the-guy-who-works-in-Hollywood was also there. I’d never met TGWWIH before but we instantly bonded over the knowledge that we both love vodka & grapefruit juice. The women of MIL’s family are all very tiny & very active…. Really, it was like being surrounded by woodsprites on caffeine or a herd of humming birds. I felt very…. Large.

Much walking on the beach, lots of rain, a little shopping.

Husband left a day early… he had to be back for work stuff. Sweet Boy & I flew out the next day from Portland. I got him a fabulous beanie with a propeller (and a matching one for daddy) and he was the cutest guy in the airport (Sweet Boy, not daddy).

Of course, travel being what it is, we had some, um, mishaps, on the way home. I opted to send the diaper bag home with the daddy and just carry on my big purse from Old Navy crammed full of dinosaur crackers & sippy cups. Well, the buckle on the strap broke and the plane was late and we had to do the full-on Sampsonite commercial sprint through the SLC airport. Picture this: The Mama, looking fit and trim in her favorite Solomon tennies & capris, hauling a broken purse and, in the sling, The Baby… big-eyed and wearing a propeller hat…. Laughing as we run. We were cracking up ourselves and everyone around us. My brother had warned me about running and getting on and off those moving sidewalk things so I was prepared for that part. (And I prepared my sister who did it the next week coming home from Vegas… what is it with us and delayed flights??) We made it. But barely. I hate flying out of the “E” concourse in Salt Lake.

It was so nice to get home. Husband had the house all cleaned up and pizza ordered. I started a load of laundry and curled up on the couch with my family and a refreshing adult beverage and we broke down the highs and lows of our vacation.

I’m ready to go on another vacation. MIL and I decided we should go on a “bigger” vacation every other year and in the off years go on vacation somewhere local. I’m making a list of localish places for next year. Chico Hot Springs. Flathead Lake. Glacier Park. Radium Hot Springs. Big Sky.