Friday, November 09, 2007
Thomas can bite me.
Oh I regret the day I said, "Well, if you want to get him Thomas get him the classic wooden stuff and not the plastic stuff."
It isn't like the kid has a ton of Thomas. He has the figure-8 set, the fire station crew and Harold the Helicoptor. Of course, of those pieces FOUR were in the June recall. So I, dutifully, removed them from his sister's mouth and put them in a big padded envelope with the proper forms and mailed them away.... June 19th.
Around the end of September I realized I hadn't gotten a "confirmation email" regarding my toys. So I called the 800 number. No record of me. Someone will call back by the end of next week.
A month later. Still no phone call. No email. No toys. I'm not planning to waste a lot of energy on this.... the kid would rather play with my sewing machine than the train set but I'm willing to make one more phone call. Nothing. No record. Can I fax the form I sent? Sure.
I get this:
From: recalls@rc2corp.com
Subject: Thomas Wooden Vehicle Recall
Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2007 10:22:37 -0500
Dear HOMESTEAD,
We wanted to let you know that we received the items you have returned to RC2 Corporation in response to our voluntary recall. Please be assured that we are working diligently to replace your product in a timely manner. In the meantime, if you need to contact us regarding your replacement, please use Reference Number xxx.
You can also check the status of your order by visiting RC2Corp Thomas Recall Order Status. You will need your Reference Number to access the site.
The trust you have placed in the Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway brand is very important to us. We want you to know that we fully understand and share your concerns and are dedicated to safeguarding that trust. Since our recall announcement a few weeks ago, we've focused on three primary objectives:
1. Recovery of products subject to the recall
2. Determination of what happened
3. Thorough review of our processes and procedures to prevent it from happening again and to assure consumers that our products are safe.
We are making progress on all three objectives, and we deeply appreciate your patience and loyalty during this time.
Regards,
RC2 Corporation
I don't care. My kids are getting bubble wrap and cardboard boxes for Christmas this year. How about yours??
It isn't like the kid has a ton of Thomas. He has the figure-8 set, the fire station crew and Harold the Helicoptor. Of course, of those pieces FOUR were in the June recall. So I, dutifully, removed them from his sister's mouth and put them in a big padded envelope with the proper forms and mailed them away.... June 19th.
Around the end of September I realized I hadn't gotten a "confirmation email" regarding my toys. So I called the 800 number. No record of me. Someone will call back by the end of next week.
A month later. Still no phone call. No email. No toys. I'm not planning to waste a lot of energy on this.... the kid would rather play with my sewing machine than the train set but I'm willing to make one more phone call. Nothing. No record. Can I fax the form I sent? Sure.
I get this:
From: recalls@rc2corp.com
Subject: Thomas Wooden Vehicle Recall
Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2007 10:22:37 -0500
Dear HOMESTEAD,
We wanted to let you know that we received the items you have returned to RC2 Corporation in response to our voluntary recall. Please be assured that we are working diligently to replace your product in a timely manner. In the meantime, if you need to contact us regarding your replacement, please use Reference Number xxx.
You can also check the status of your order by visiting RC2Corp Thomas Recall Order Status. You will need your Reference Number to access the site.
The trust you have placed in the Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway brand is very important to us. We want you to know that we fully understand and share your concerns and are dedicated to safeguarding that trust. Since our recall announcement a few weeks ago, we've focused on three primary objectives:
1. Recovery of products subject to the recall
2. Determination of what happened
3. Thorough review of our processes and procedures to prevent it from happening again and to assure consumers that our products are safe.
We are making progress on all three objectives, and we deeply appreciate your patience and loyalty during this time.
Regards,
RC2 Corporation
I don't care. My kids are getting bubble wrap and cardboard boxes for Christmas this year. How about yours??
Friday, November 02, 2007
Fire…. Things.
Several totally unrelated thoughts that are loosely tied together around the theme of fire.
Freaked Hot Stuff out last night by letting Sweet Boy carry a giant carved pumpkin containing what appeared to be a lit candle.
Also freaked out the in-laws by rolling said pumpkin across the table sideways.
…. Ya gotta love fake candles from the dollar store.
A house burned when the owner was grilling on the deck and a propane hose blew off. Totalled the house. I vow to no longer make fun of Hot Stuff when he grills in the middle of our giant gravel driveway.
Hot Stuff did NOT go to California to fight fires. His agency did not get a request. And, after the 2003 trip for the Cedar Fire, he swore off ever fighting fires in CA again. They, um, don’t follow the law. They don’t follow federal work-to-rest ratios and, in general, injure and kill more wildland firefighters than most anyone else. And fighting fires with such a crazy urban interface is, well, shitty. Besides…. It was the first week of hunting season.
I’ve requested two permanent fire ladders from Santa. The kind that anchor to the roof and can be rolled down for fire escapes. (But they make lots of noise when you roll them down… I’m not completely stupid… My kids will have to work harder than that to sneak out of the house when they are teenagers….) I’m also requesting some sort of combo/keypad door unlocker for the “front” door. IF there was a serious fire in our house I imagine it would be by the pellet stove or in the kitchen. The absolutely quickest way out if the stairs are blocked would be to go out SB’s window and down the fire escape, then run back in through the front door which opens across the way from Darling Girl’s bedroom. Does that make any sense? The problem….. the front door would be locked. You could run around the house to the glass-paned back door and break in but if the fire was in the kitchen or pellet stove you would be blocked from getting to her room. You see my problem with having bedrooms on two different floors? Anyone else have any brilliant fire escape plan ideas??
Freaked Hot Stuff out last night by letting Sweet Boy carry a giant carved pumpkin containing what appeared to be a lit candle.
Also freaked out the in-laws by rolling said pumpkin across the table sideways.
…. Ya gotta love fake candles from the dollar store.
A house burned when the owner was grilling on the deck and a propane hose blew off. Totalled the house. I vow to no longer make fun of Hot Stuff when he grills in the middle of our giant gravel driveway.
Hot Stuff did NOT go to California to fight fires. His agency did not get a request. And, after the 2003 trip for the Cedar Fire, he swore off ever fighting fires in CA again. They, um, don’t follow the law. They don’t follow federal work-to-rest ratios and, in general, injure and kill more wildland firefighters than most anyone else. And fighting fires with such a crazy urban interface is, well, shitty. Besides…. It was the first week of hunting season.
I’ve requested two permanent fire ladders from Santa. The kind that anchor to the roof and can be rolled down for fire escapes. (But they make lots of noise when you roll them down… I’m not completely stupid… My kids will have to work harder than that to sneak out of the house when they are teenagers….) I’m also requesting some sort of combo/keypad door unlocker for the “front” door. IF there was a serious fire in our house I imagine it would be by the pellet stove or in the kitchen. The absolutely quickest way out if the stairs are blocked would be to go out SB’s window and down the fire escape, then run back in through the front door which opens across the way from Darling Girl’s bedroom. Does that make any sense? The problem….. the front door would be locked. You could run around the house to the glass-paned back door and break in but if the fire was in the kitchen or pellet stove you would be blocked from getting to her room. You see my problem with having bedrooms on two different floors? Anyone else have any brilliant fire escape plan ideas??
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Welcome to My Wild Life
Subtitled: A post in which I say Shit more than 3 times... but at least this week the dog didn't find a skunk.....
Holy S-h-i-t. I just found out the neighbor has seen a bear in her yard every morning around 3 for the last two weeks...... our house is in BETWEEN her house and the giant pile of bear shit we saw down by the creek. That might explain some of the dog's behavior. And let's not get into what she is doing up at 3 every day, ok?
Sunday afternoon I was looking out the window and I saw a blur behind a tree. It looked like a very dark, very tall, very fast-moving deer. I had a momentary glimpse of it as it came out from behind the tree and all I saw were legs, wattles & palmated horns.... yup, folks, we have the first confirmed moose sighting EVER. Hot Stuff was upstairs and I hollered "HOLY SHIT, HON.... THERE'S A MOOSE HEADING FOR THE COMPOST PILE...." Or something similarly intelligent (simultaneously setting the dog to bark which made the baby wail in fright and sent the moose headed north).
We have the usual contingent of deer (two moms, three babies, a spindly spike and one other larger male that won't get too close) bu they seem to be celebrating a family reunion of sorts.... last night I counted over 20 deer within ball-throwing distance of the house.... and I'm not even a very good thrower..... Sad when you have to honk the horn in the driveway to get the deer to move so you can park. One of the babies is looking pretty pathetic.... thick necked and mangy looking.... maybe scabies? He is still eating but doesn't look good.... and all I can think is, "Please don't die in my yard...." Hot Stuff went out last night with the chain saw and cut some branches off the hanging willow tree so the deer could eat the leaves... they love the leaves. He mumbled something about the branches being too low but we all know the truth....
And our fourth and final sighting of the week?? I'll give you a hint.... Hot Stuff found a stash of dog food behind the dryer. Yup, you guessed it. I was reading a magazine last night, looked up, and saw Zippy the Mouse go cruising across the kitchen floor. Frag it. If you live on the edge of a grassy field you KNOW you will have mice.. especially in the fall... but do the little buggars have to add insult to injury by flaunting themselves and skipping around in the kitchen? I really miss having a kitty today.
Holy S-h-i-t. I just found out the neighbor has seen a bear in her yard every morning around 3 for the last two weeks...... our house is in BETWEEN her house and the giant pile of bear shit we saw down by the creek. That might explain some of the dog's behavior. And let's not get into what she is doing up at 3 every day, ok?
Sunday afternoon I was looking out the window and I saw a blur behind a tree. It looked like a very dark, very tall, very fast-moving deer. I had a momentary glimpse of it as it came out from behind the tree and all I saw were legs, wattles & palmated horns.... yup, folks, we have the first confirmed moose sighting EVER. Hot Stuff was upstairs and I hollered "HOLY SHIT, HON.... THERE'S A MOOSE HEADING FOR THE COMPOST PILE...." Or something similarly intelligent (simultaneously setting the dog to bark which made the baby wail in fright and sent the moose headed north).
We have the usual contingent of deer (two moms, three babies, a spindly spike and one other larger male that won't get too close) bu they seem to be celebrating a family reunion of sorts.... last night I counted over 20 deer within ball-throwing distance of the house.... and I'm not even a very good thrower..... Sad when you have to honk the horn in the driveway to get the deer to move so you can park. One of the babies is looking pretty pathetic.... thick necked and mangy looking.... maybe scabies? He is still eating but doesn't look good.... and all I can think is, "Please don't die in my yard...." Hot Stuff went out last night with the chain saw and cut some branches off the hanging willow tree so the deer could eat the leaves... they love the leaves. He mumbled something about the branches being too low but we all know the truth....
And our fourth and final sighting of the week?? I'll give you a hint.... Hot Stuff found a stash of dog food behind the dryer. Yup, you guessed it. I was reading a magazine last night, looked up, and saw Zippy the Mouse go cruising across the kitchen floor. Frag it. If you live on the edge of a grassy field you KNOW you will have mice.. especially in the fall... but do the little buggars have to add insult to injury by flaunting themselves and skipping around in the kitchen? I really miss having a kitty today.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Love This - Hate This: Kitchen Edition
Love this: Sign. From Elle. Above the sink.
Hate this: Paint color.... antique white? Everyone I work with... and we are talking designers amazing..... LOVES Antique White. Give me Navaho White any day. Apparently.... I don't like warm and pink.
Hate this: Chipped sink faucet. Dent in the faucet base (courtesy of hanging the above sign with a teeny-tiny nail to "just see how it looks" and then... crash!). Ugly hard water stains. Oddly unpleasant minty hand soap. Pink countertop.
Love this: Um, I love that it gives me water? Usually. Except when the power is out for SIX HOURS on Sunday.
Love this: Tiny pottery pitcher full of toothpicks. Lovely pottery bowl full of change. See how lovely the deck looks with new stain. Deep windowsills from old log cabin structure.
Hate this: Worn window paint (you can't really see how awful it is) on the outside and inside. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to this candle stink.... it is gone now and replaced. Wow, those are some d-i-r-t-y windows.
Love this: Tiny tomato crop.
Hate this: Masking tape to make the coffee pot work. Pink countertops (trust me, the photo is simply NOT doing them justice).
Thursday, September 13, 2007
A Crock.
Ah.... I've had a request for my favorite crock pot recipe..... how can I resist that?
I love my crock pot.
My favorite, favorite, favorite recipe is..... beans. As in..... rinse some dried beans, throw them in the pot with water, cook. Toss in some bacon or a ham bone. Maybe some diced jalapenos. Eat them with corn bread made in a cast iron skillet the first night. Then mashed and re-fried on tortillas the rest of the week.
My cooking is why God created Bean-O.
My second favorite recipe... which may or may not be made in the crock pot is:
Creamy White Bean Chili (perfect for around here these days as it gets colder) This is the official recipe but you can modify it for using dried beans or for using up various bits and pieces of leftovers in your fridge.....
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts (cut into ½” cubes)
1 med onion –chopped
1 ½ tsp garlic powder
1 TBS vegi oil
2 cans (15 ½ oz each) Great Northern beans, rinsed & drained
1 can (14 oz) chicken broth
2 cans (4 oz each) chopped green chilis
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground oregano
½ tsp pepper
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
1 c (8 oz) sour cream
½ c whipping cream
In large sauce pan, sauté chicken, onion & garlic powder in oil until chicken is no longer pink. Add beans, broth, chilies & seasonings. Bring to boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in sour cream & whipping cream. Serve immediately.
And, to transition from beans to the creamy in the second.....
Cream Cheese Chicken
(I'll admit... I rarely actually follow the recipe and you have to watch this one or it gets too salty)
4-6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
Salt and pepper
2 packets dry Ranch or Italian Dressing mix
1 can cream of chicken soup
8 ounces cream cheese, cut into cubes
1/2 c chicken broth
1/2 chopped onion
Brush chicken with butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place in a Crock Pot and sprinkle 1 packet dry mix over all. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 7 hours (ok, I've never cooked a chicken breast this long in a crock pot...). About 45 minutes before done, brown onion in 1/4 cup of juices from Crock Pot. Add soup, second packet of dry dressing mix, cream cheese and chicken broth. Cook until smooth. Pour over the chicken and cover and cook another 45 minutes. Serve with sauce. Goes great with rice, stuffing, pasta or mashed potatoes! Add in broccoli or other veggies for variety.... I usually end up piling in a lot of veggies so I can call it "health" food....
I love my crock pot.
My favorite, favorite, favorite recipe is..... beans. As in..... rinse some dried beans, throw them in the pot with water, cook. Toss in some bacon or a ham bone. Maybe some diced jalapenos. Eat them with corn bread made in a cast iron skillet the first night. Then mashed and re-fried on tortillas the rest of the week.
My cooking is why God created Bean-O.
My second favorite recipe... which may or may not be made in the crock pot is:
Creamy White Bean Chili (perfect for around here these days as it gets colder) This is the official recipe but you can modify it for using dried beans or for using up various bits and pieces of leftovers in your fridge.....
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts (cut into ½” cubes)
1 med onion –chopped
1 ½ tsp garlic powder
1 TBS vegi oil
2 cans (15 ½ oz each) Great Northern beans, rinsed & drained
1 can (14 oz) chicken broth
2 cans (4 oz each) chopped green chilis
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground oregano
½ tsp pepper
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
1 c (8 oz) sour cream
½ c whipping cream
In large sauce pan, sauté chicken, onion & garlic powder in oil until chicken is no longer pink. Add beans, broth, chilies & seasonings. Bring to boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in sour cream & whipping cream. Serve immediately.
And, to transition from beans to the creamy in the second.....
Cream Cheese Chicken
(I'll admit... I rarely actually follow the recipe and you have to watch this one or it gets too salty)
4-6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
Salt and pepper
2 packets dry Ranch or Italian Dressing mix
1 can cream of chicken soup
8 ounces cream cheese, cut into cubes
1/2 c chicken broth
1/2 chopped onion
Brush chicken with butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place in a Crock Pot and sprinkle 1 packet dry mix over all. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 7 hours (ok, I've never cooked a chicken breast this long in a crock pot...). About 45 minutes before done, brown onion in 1/4 cup of juices from Crock Pot. Add soup, second packet of dry dressing mix, cream cheese and chicken broth. Cook until smooth. Pour over the chicken and cover and cook another 45 minutes. Serve with sauce. Goes great with rice, stuffing, pasta or mashed potatoes! Add in broccoli or other veggies for variety.... I usually end up piling in a lot of veggies so I can call it "health" food....
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Pita Pizza to the rescue!
Elle is in search of quick and easy kid-friendly dinners.... anyone?
I will give you my new favorite: Pita Pizzas.
Here's how to make them:
Get home from work at 5:45.
Set oven to 350.
Grab pitas from fridge & put on a cookie sheet.
Top with a blob of tomato sauce, a sprinkle of pizza seasoning & a handful of mozzarella cheese.
Give kids an espresso cup of milk and a saucer plate of wheat thins with letters written on them with squeeze cheese. Call it tea, appetizers AND a home-school lesson.
Top pizzas as wanted. Kids get pepperoni, leftover bacon or just cheese. Dads get leftover taco meat. Moms get piles of veggies and a sprinkle of fancy aged parmesan or maybe some feta.
Put in the oven at 5:48 and bake for 7-9 minutes.
Dinner is on the table by 6:00.
Serve with apple slices and baby carrots.
Variations (we use MacKenzie River Pizza's menu for inspiration):
Wing style: wing sauce, leftover chicken, celery & bleu cheese crumbles.
Greek: feta, olives & sundried tomatoes
White: alfredo sauce & sauteed veggies
Tree Huggery: pesto & veggies
Pitas have about 260 calories each I think. Not sure of the calorie count of the rest of it but it's a pretty healthy way to do pizza if you avoid the pepperoni. And a FUN-FUN-FUN (and cheap)thing to do on a Friday night..... make pita pizzas & watch a movie.... eat in the living room and make popcorn for dessert!!
I will give you my new favorite: Pita Pizzas.
Here's how to make them:
Get home from work at 5:45.
Set oven to 350.
Grab pitas from fridge & put on a cookie sheet.
Top with a blob of tomato sauce, a sprinkle of pizza seasoning & a handful of mozzarella cheese.
Give kids an espresso cup of milk and a saucer plate of wheat thins with letters written on them with squeeze cheese. Call it tea, appetizers AND a home-school lesson.
Top pizzas as wanted. Kids get pepperoni, leftover bacon or just cheese. Dads get leftover taco meat. Moms get piles of veggies and a sprinkle of fancy aged parmesan or maybe some feta.
Put in the oven at 5:48 and bake for 7-9 minutes.
Dinner is on the table by 6:00.
Serve with apple slices and baby carrots.
Variations (we use MacKenzie River Pizza's menu for inspiration):
Wing style: wing sauce, leftover chicken, celery & bleu cheese crumbles.
Greek: feta, olives & sundried tomatoes
White: alfredo sauce & sauteed veggies
Tree Huggery: pesto & veggies
Pitas have about 260 calories each I think. Not sure of the calorie count of the rest of it but it's a pretty healthy way to do pizza if you avoid the pepperoni. And a FUN-FUN-FUN (and cheap)thing to do on a Friday night..... make pita pizzas & watch a movie.... eat in the living room and make popcorn for dessert!!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Athletic
The Outfielder is sneaking in.... she has the "ball" in her hand and is ready to pitch it....
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Analyze this.
I have strange dreams. Everybody says that.... but....
I keep having a recurring dream about not having a foot.
Yup. Read that again.
No foot. Specifically... my right foot.... gone from just above the ankle.
Is that an odd dream?
I'm always happy in the dreams. Does my right foot somehow symbolize things that are wrong in my life? And joking.... I joke in the dreams. And it isn't uncomfortable at all.... in my dreams I have several different feet I can change out depending on what activity I am doing.... a dress foot, a jogging foot, a skiing foot..... I kinda like the idea of accessorizing with my prosthesis.
It is interesting because, many years ago, I did come fairly close to actually losing my right foot.... just above the ankle.... But I never had a dream about it ..... Until the last few months.
Anyone with any particular skill with dream interpretation out there wanna take a stab at it?
I keep having a recurring dream about not having a foot.
Yup. Read that again.
No foot. Specifically... my right foot.... gone from just above the ankle.
Is that an odd dream?
I'm always happy in the dreams. Does my right foot somehow symbolize things that are wrong in my life? And joking.... I joke in the dreams. And it isn't uncomfortable at all.... in my dreams I have several different feet I can change out depending on what activity I am doing.... a dress foot, a jogging foot, a skiing foot..... I kinda like the idea of accessorizing with my prosthesis.
It is interesting because, many years ago, I did come fairly close to actually losing my right foot.... just above the ankle.... But I never had a dream about it ..... Until the last few months.
Anyone with any particular skill with dream interpretation out there wanna take a stab at it?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
We are Filthy Animals.....
I finally gave up Saturday and cleaned the car. It looks, well, it looks like we’ve been living in it for the last few weeks. Everything came out and was piled to heaping on the dining room table. Lifejackets, towels, spare swimwear, picnic baskets, water bottles, diaper bags, sunglasses, hats, sunscreen, napkins, sand toys, drink cups…. You name it…. It was in there.
I found fried chicken. Specifically, I found a piece of fried chicken skin in the stroller. So out came the garden hose. Hosing off the car seats, stroller & floor mats yielded a gold mine for the dog (and not just because he loves to attack the water stream from the hose). Crackers & cereal in quantity came out of the nether regions of the car seat. Ew. I don’t want to ever consider my car seat’s nether regions again. Nasty. And now probably full of wet, pulpy cheerio ooge. Thank the stars for low humidity. It will dry into something sculptural. Right?
So now we are back to having the usual minimum of crap in the car…. Including, of course, the picnic basket… for those, um, unexpected picnics…..
I found fried chicken. Specifically, I found a piece of fried chicken skin in the stroller. So out came the garden hose. Hosing off the car seats, stroller & floor mats yielded a gold mine for the dog (and not just because he loves to attack the water stream from the hose). Crackers & cereal in quantity came out of the nether regions of the car seat. Ew. I don’t want to ever consider my car seat’s nether regions again. Nasty. And now probably full of wet, pulpy cheerio ooge. Thank the stars for low humidity. It will dry into something sculptural. Right?
So now we are back to having the usual minimum of crap in the car…. Including, of course, the picnic basket… for those, um, unexpected picnics…..
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
In which I refer to them as The Children....
The Children and I attended a ritzy sangria party on Friday night. Yes, I do like to accessorize with The Children. Did I feel bad about taking my children? No, actually, they were the only reason I was invited. Did I feel bad that taking the children limited me to one glass of sangria? You bet I did.
When I say ritzy I mean…. There wasn’t a Bud Lite in the area. The only potato chips were fancy Thai spicy ones. The crackers weren’t Ritz and there was no squeeze cheese. We had mozzarella balls. And bleu cheese stuffed olives. Rice crackers. Grape tomatoes. Olive tempanade. Smoked sausage slices with homemade spicy mustard sauce. Angelfood cake with fresh peaches and real whipped cream.
We arrived right on time with our usual entourage of stuff….. our pot luck offering, the stroller (doubles as a high chair!), diaper bag, sippy cups, toys…. I cast up a prayer to however is the patron saint of children at parties and turned the little ones loose…..
And they were angels. Delightful. Many adorable pictures of my sweet-as-sugar daughter gazing at flowers and posing, idyllic, but rock statuary. My son playing catch with the guys and using his “please, thank you, excuse me” best. My son, channeling Hank Williams again, standing on an ottoman, looking over his shoulder saying “let’s do it, boys” and singing a rocking new hit single about pirates. ARGH!! And cracking people up with his belly-stroking air-guitar strumming.
I love it when my kids make me look good
When I say ritzy I mean…. There wasn’t a Bud Lite in the area. The only potato chips were fancy Thai spicy ones. The crackers weren’t Ritz and there was no squeeze cheese. We had mozzarella balls. And bleu cheese stuffed olives. Rice crackers. Grape tomatoes. Olive tempanade. Smoked sausage slices with homemade spicy mustard sauce. Angelfood cake with fresh peaches and real whipped cream.
We arrived right on time with our usual entourage of stuff….. our pot luck offering, the stroller (doubles as a high chair!), diaper bag, sippy cups, toys…. I cast up a prayer to however is the patron saint of children at parties and turned the little ones loose…..
And they were angels. Delightful. Many adorable pictures of my sweet-as-sugar daughter gazing at flowers and posing, idyllic, but rock statuary. My son playing catch with the guys and using his “please, thank you, excuse me” best. My son, channeling Hank Williams again, standing on an ottoman, looking over his shoulder saying “let’s do it, boys” and singing a rocking new hit single about pirates. ARGH!! And cracking people up with his belly-stroking air-guitar strumming.
I love it when my kids make me look good
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Finger Painting
Yes... this is the ultimate in edible finger paints...... Instant vanilla pudding and food coloring..... Do we know how to combine crafts and dessert or what??
Friday, August 17, 2007
Remember Eewoks?
***UPDATED***
Bonus Points for Anyone who can explain these photos......
To answer your questions:
8 pairs of underpants and one pair of jammie bottoms. Clean. Yes, she did this by herself. If I leave the unmentionables drawer open she will play for a very long time...... What does this say about her??
Bonus Points for Anyone who can explain these photos......
To answer your questions:
8 pairs of underpants and one pair of jammie bottoms. Clean. Yes, she did this by herself. If I leave the unmentionables drawer open she will play for a very long time...... What does this say about her??
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Smoke.
Hot & Smoky. Nothing else to report.
Is it a Bad Thing when your child is making soot angels in the fire ashes floating down from the sky?
Is it a Bad Thing when your child is making soot angels in the fire ashes floating down from the sky?
Friday, August 10, 2007
A Thursday Night Project....
So what do you do when you "inherit" a pile of canvas logoed bags and you have a lot of toys to store??? You get crafty.... hah!
Large, zip-top logo canvas bag and heavy-ish weight fabric on clearance for $2/yd at Joann's.
A few minutes with the iron and the sewing machine and ta-da..... storage for all of the various construction-themed toys in our house.
In my perfect world a few of these "theme bags" will hang on the pegboard wall (that hasn't been installed yet) in Sweet Boy's room.
Sweet Boy thrives on this kind of organization.... he can get out EVERY SINGLE grader, dozer, dumper, excavator, loader and any other toys that require a "bbbbwwwgggggrrrrr" noise from the back of your throat to operate..... and they are easy to pick up so the Toy Fairy doesn't take them.
The downsides to this project... I think my sewing machine is crapping out again... it's doing an odd stitch on the back seam. I can't cut straight. I can't sew straight. I hand-stitched the little pocket and it isn't going to stay..... I washed the bag and the canvas shrank but the webbing didn't so it is a bit funky.... but who cares? I spent about a $1 on it and SB loves it.
Large, zip-top logo canvas bag and heavy-ish weight fabric on clearance for $2/yd at Joann's.A few minutes with the iron and the sewing machine and ta-da..... storage for all of the various construction-themed toys in our house.
In my perfect world a few of these "theme bags" will hang on the pegboard wall (that hasn't been installed yet) in Sweet Boy's room.
Sweet Boy thrives on this kind of organization.... he can get out EVERY SINGLE grader, dozer, dumper, excavator, loader and any other toys that require a "bbbbwwwgggggrrrrr" noise from the back of your throat to operate..... and they are easy to pick up so the Toy Fairy doesn't take them.
The downsides to this project... I think my sewing machine is crapping out again... it's doing an odd stitch on the back seam. I can't cut straight. I can't sew straight. I hand-stitched the little pocket and it isn't going to stay..... I washed the bag and the canvas shrank but the webbing didn't so it is a bit funky.... but who cares? I spent about a $1 on it and SB loves it.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Throwing It All Away….
How is it that I seem to ALWAYS be purging and simplifying and yet…. Still…. There is SO MUCH STUFF??? HOW?
My darling, fashionable and ruthless sister was here last weekend. She helped me cull my makeup. Now, let’s remember how much makeup I actually wear…. Almost none. So this should be easy, right?
Quote of the Day, “Well, this was old and this much used up when I gave it to you several years ago so I think you can let it go….”
Tossed: several eyeshadows, old bronzers, powder compacts with just a tiny scrape left on the edge, some funny smelling cover up, makeup sponges, a makeup brush I got for being in a wedding when I was in the 6th grade… the brush lasted a lot longer than the marriage did….
What remains:
The Aveda tinted moisturizer I wear every day… really, it’s usually all I wear.
The Bare Escentuals stuff my sister got me for Christmas (on my to do list STILL is watching the application video) I have the starter kit, a mini bronzer and a mini blush.
A fancy shimmery loose powder
My new Jane mascara
3 eyeliners (brown, blue & grey)
3 eyeshadows (brown duo, purple duo & silver)
An eyelash curler & a lash/brow comb & 2 pairs of tweezers
A few nice, clean brushes
2 lip liners
2 lipsticks and several lip glosses
I’m usually one to brag about not being attached to material things but in me there is an old soul that survived the Great Depression and that soul was crying out. I had to dump some leftover spaghetti on the stuff in the garbage to keep myself from digging out that makeup brush from the 6th grade….
My darling, fashionable and ruthless sister was here last weekend. She helped me cull my makeup. Now, let’s remember how much makeup I actually wear…. Almost none. So this should be easy, right?
Quote of the Day, “Well, this was old and this much used up when I gave it to you several years ago so I think you can let it go….”
Tossed: several eyeshadows, old bronzers, powder compacts with just a tiny scrape left on the edge, some funny smelling cover up, makeup sponges, a makeup brush I got for being in a wedding when I was in the 6th grade… the brush lasted a lot longer than the marriage did….
What remains:
The Aveda tinted moisturizer I wear every day… really, it’s usually all I wear.
The Bare Escentuals stuff my sister got me for Christmas (on my to do list STILL is watching the application video) I have the starter kit, a mini bronzer and a mini blush.
A fancy shimmery loose powder
My new Jane mascara
3 eyeliners (brown, blue & grey)
3 eyeshadows (brown duo, purple duo & silver)
An eyelash curler & a lash/brow comb & 2 pairs of tweezers
A few nice, clean brushes
2 lip liners
2 lipsticks and several lip glosses
I’m usually one to brag about not being attached to material things but in me there is an old soul that survived the Great Depression and that soul was crying out. I had to dump some leftover spaghetti on the stuff in the garbage to keep myself from digging out that makeup brush from the 6th grade….
We're having fun this summer, dammit.
So far this week, in pursuit of SUMMER FUN, we've been to the fancy new park and the grocery store.... what? The grocery store is one of Sweet Boy's favorite places. In the list of his favorite places to run errands (each assigned a finger) the grocery store is the thumb. Costco is his pointer finger and Target is his middle finger.... I like to say, "Ok, we are JUST going to Target" just to see that innocent little bird fly.
But, as I've long said was important, we will have fun, dammit.
So Monday night the car took over, drove around crazily, and ended up at the fancy park. I was a little nervous after Friday night's cut-short picnic trip.... but a good time was had by all. Last time we went to this park an odd little boy sort of attached himself to us and was kind of tormenting my two little ones.... jumping in front of them and generally being a pest. I wanted to be nice to him because he looked like he could use a buddy but, really, I just wanted to say, "Beat it, kid." How do seasoned mothers handle these things? I respond by making my husband work long weekends with a saw mill to mill boards to build our own swing set so my kids (and, more importantly, ME) don't have to be around other people. But hey, no one ever accused me of having social skills.
Tonight we are going to a local pond.... meeting Nana & Papa and having chicken & cheese sandwiches. Should be low key and we will all end up with sand in our shorts and smoke in our lungs.
In an effort to simplify my life (and redeem my position as "Best Fire Wife Ever") I've decided to start mapping out meals ahead of time again. Seriously, my kids never get sick because of all the antibiotics in chicken nuggets. So, for your dining pleasure may I present..... Week One.
Tuesday: Spaghetti. Pesto from the herb garden for me, crazy noodles for the kids with red wine vinegar, garlic salt & butter and jar alfredo sauce for Hot Stuff if he comes home.
Wednesday: Cheese sandwiches and spinnin' chicken. Leftover French bread from last night, cheese, grapes, baby carrots, fruit snacks... you get the idea.
Thursday: Hot dog wraps. Ideally I will make these Wednesday night and we will eat them cold at the pool on Thursday... or, cold on the porch... whatever.
Friday: Hobo dinners on the grill. If I can get over my fear of lighting the county on fire with the bbq. Hot Stuff says bbq in the shop... yeah, with the two cans of diesel for the tractor, 2-stroke fuel for the chainsaw, several gas cans for the lawn mower & that funny little mix that goes in the weed eater.... a giant flameball will start a forest fire just as easily as a stray spark from my cooking.
Saturday: Steamed buns. I've never made these but I'm going to try them.
Sunday: Stroganoff. What a great summer meal?!? But I have a bunch of stew meat in the freezer and this was all I could come up with....
Monday: Some form of sandwiches again.... at a park somewhere.
But, as I've long said was important, we will have fun, dammit.
So Monday night the car took over, drove around crazily, and ended up at the fancy park. I was a little nervous after Friday night's cut-short picnic trip.... but a good time was had by all. Last time we went to this park an odd little boy sort of attached himself to us and was kind of tormenting my two little ones.... jumping in front of them and generally being a pest. I wanted to be nice to him because he looked like he could use a buddy but, really, I just wanted to say, "Beat it, kid." How do seasoned mothers handle these things? I respond by making my husband work long weekends with a saw mill to mill boards to build our own swing set so my kids (and, more importantly, ME) don't have to be around other people. But hey, no one ever accused me of having social skills.
Tonight we are going to a local pond.... meeting Nana & Papa and having chicken & cheese sandwiches. Should be low key and we will all end up with sand in our shorts and smoke in our lungs.
In an effort to simplify my life (and redeem my position as "Best Fire Wife Ever") I've decided to start mapping out meals ahead of time again. Seriously, my kids never get sick because of all the antibiotics in chicken nuggets. So, for your dining pleasure may I present..... Week One.
Tuesday: Spaghetti. Pesto from the herb garden for me, crazy noodles for the kids with red wine vinegar, garlic salt & butter and jar alfredo sauce for Hot Stuff if he comes home.
Wednesday: Cheese sandwiches and spinnin' chicken. Leftover French bread from last night, cheese, grapes, baby carrots, fruit snacks... you get the idea.
Thursday: Hot dog wraps. Ideally I will make these Wednesday night and we will eat them cold at the pool on Thursday... or, cold on the porch... whatever.
Friday: Hobo dinners on the grill. If I can get over my fear of lighting the county on fire with the bbq. Hot Stuff says bbq in the shop... yeah, with the two cans of diesel for the tractor, 2-stroke fuel for the chainsaw, several gas cans for the lawn mower & that funny little mix that goes in the weed eater.... a giant flameball will start a forest fire just as easily as a stray spark from my cooking.
Saturday: Steamed buns. I've never made these but I'm going to try them.
Sunday: Stroganoff. What a great summer meal?!? But I have a bunch of stew meat in the freezer and this was all I could come up with....
Monday: Some form of sandwiches again.... at a park somewhere.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Sept 2004
The shit-our-house-could-burn-down semi-reality has me looking at old photos and I'm so happy I found this one. September 2004. 4 Generations. Gram wearing a grin and her usual LOUD clothing (well, as she once told me, "It's ok for me to wear loud clothes... I'm deaf.), my mom sporting short brown hair, me looking dazed but pretty good for having a 3-month-old baby, and SB... well, he was a cute little noodle, wasn't he?
I miss you Gram.
FUN SUMMER WEEKEND REPORT
So we headed into FUN SUMMER WEEKEND.
SB went to Nana & Papa’s several times…. Turns out they let him watch cartoons and eat chocolate chips & almonds. He also gets to play with guns and cheat at cards. If I find out he’s been smoking cigars I’m drawing a line.
The creek is getting lower and lower. There are now many more “Islands in the Stream” than before…… Go ahead, try to get the Dolly & Kenny song out of your head now….
SB tells his daddy, “Yeah, we were whapping grasshoppers with sticks and then picking them up.” Um, well, yes. He & Papa figured out they could get BIG FISH to strike if they tossed them in the creek. And he still hasn’t caught one with his metal mesh strainer.
SB went to Nana & Papa’s several times…. Turns out they let him watch cartoons and eat chocolate chips & almonds. He also gets to play with guns and cheat at cards. If I find out he’s been smoking cigars I’m drawing a line.
The creek is getting lower and lower. There are now many more “Islands in the Stream” than before…… Go ahead, try to get the Dolly & Kenny song out of your head now….
SB tells his daddy, “Yeah, we were whapping grasshoppers with sticks and then picking them up.” Um, well, yes. He & Papa figured out they could get BIG FISH to strike if they tossed them in the creek. And he still hasn’t caught one with his metal mesh strainer.
We practiced with scissors on the picnic game from Wonderland’s website. I’d link it if I wasn’t so lazy.
We played play-doh. We have a giant 50th anniversary tin (from Costco) and we played for about an hour… just makin’ stuff. Sissy sat in her high chair and made dots on a piece of paper (and her face & the tray) with a crayon. Pointalism. She’s so advanced.
We played Rumikub. Well, our version of it. It is a little difficult for the time being but SB is getting better at number recognition so he’s figuring it out. (Oh, hear me sound like a mommy who actually knows what she is talking about…) I stacked tiles for Darling Girl and she practiced gravity on my stacks.
Our next big craft project is to make beads (out of that sculpty clay…. On sale for $1 each at Joann’s recently) and then string them into… something. I realized all the clay we got is various shades of green…. Because that is SB’s favorite…. And this makes me happy because my brother & SB’s father (two DIFFERENT people, I must point out… we’re Rednecks… we aren’t Arkansas Rednecks) are red-green color blind and, indeed, none of the “green” clays are actually red so, as far as I’m concerned, he will have no trouble with stop lights in his future.
I transplanted some plants to the flower bed I’ve been fixing. Yeah, August is a great time to transplant things…. But the deer were kicking the hell out of my strawberries and this new bed has a lovely cover of deer net. And my poor asters (transplanted into a shady spot when we moved here (3 YEARS ago) and told to, “Hang in there, guys”) finally have a sunny location with deer protection and my lovely pincushion flowers finally have a home. I might sow a late crop of spinach in the edges just to torture the deer… ‘cause I’m like that.
SB & I had remote control car races in the garage. The little sneak gave me the car with half-dead batteries. I retaliated by squirting him with the water squirter… no, not really… well, ok, yes.
I mowed the “back” yard while DG napped and SB watched Qubo Saturday morning…. The other 2 sections of yard look fine to me so I skipped them. I was trying to make the mowing a workout… because the smoke has been preventing much walking or exercise around here. Not sure on my logic on that one…. ‘cause mowing-exercise and walking-exercise are different to the smoke, right?
The Jehovah’s Witnesses didn’t show up this weekend. I was expecting them. They stop by about once a month and are actually quite lovely people…. I know the gal from some work stuff I do and I love calling my mother-in-law and whispering, “They’re Coming.” Just to freak her out.
We mostly just ate hot dogs and bagels all weekend… although I did do some burgers on The George Sunday night (what? I’m scared to use the bbq…. I don’t want to be The One who starts The Fire….). We NEED to get more ice cream…. That’s what SB says.
Evenings involve avoiding the TV (reruns of The Singing Bee?) and sitting on the deck now that the weather is cooler…. In August. Hot Stuff has taken to smoking the occasional cigar and SB is horrified that he is putting “Daddy Candles” in his mouth….
Photos coming some day of the kids playing in the big sandbox and SB singing on “stage rock” to his millions of adoring fans.
Last Week
In an attempt to keep the whole “swimming is fun” theme going now that swimming lessons are over we tricked Nana into hitting the pool with us on Thursday night. I wasn’t sure how it would go after my accidental dunking of SB & I on the waterslide on Monday. But we were testing a new device….. a barrel floatie suit. It came out of the hand-me-down box and was U-G-L-Y…. I’m not gonna lie. Faded, pilled and sportin’ some odd cartoon whale.. it was not cool… but it floated the kid and got him paddling around the pool…. ON HIS OWN. He even got brave enough to bail off the diving board twice… something that was no problem last summer but has been impossible this summer now that he knows he is mortal. I also improved my water skills by putting my face in the water numerous times… no small feat…. Yes, I lead by example… but don’t expect to see me up on that diving board any time soon.
So I’ve been promising Sweet Boy a life jacket for over a month now and I finally bit the bullet and got him one at Target on Friday. No, they weren’t on clearance… what the hell? I am accustom to summer stuff going on sale July 1st… what’s up? But it was the last life jacket that was approved for boat safety (yeah, those cute little Speedo ones aren’t) so I dropped a whopping $25… all for love. And, yes, in spite of my hypocritical dislike of licensed characters…. He got the spiderman one. He’s going to be wearing it until he’s 5 so he better get one he likes….
So then, continuing the “let’s make summer fun” lesson… we went to ABC’s (that’s Applebee’s for those of you who don’t speak toddlerese) and got takeout and went to the park. We had plans to meet some friends doing the cancer walk and do a few laps and then head home… because, well, Hot Stuff is working every and all hours and I am determined to make fun summer memories… right?
So I call Hot Stuff to tell him where we are on the off chance he gets done with work by 18:00 and wants to meet us…. He asks if I can see smoke. WTF? There are wildfires everywhere… yeah I can see smoke. There has been a smoke report fairly near our house.
End of fun.
We head to the house to get the dog and see if we need to leave. I’m not gonna lie… there was a little adrenaline pumping.
Turns out it was a false alarm. There could be a fire 500 yards from my house and I bet I wouldn’t be able to tell… it’s that smoky everywhere.
And I just noticed I reported the time military-style…. That’s how consuming fire season is at our house.
So I’ve been promising Sweet Boy a life jacket for over a month now and I finally bit the bullet and got him one at Target on Friday. No, they weren’t on clearance… what the hell? I am accustom to summer stuff going on sale July 1st… what’s up? But it was the last life jacket that was approved for boat safety (yeah, those cute little Speedo ones aren’t) so I dropped a whopping $25… all for love. And, yes, in spite of my hypocritical dislike of licensed characters…. He got the spiderman one. He’s going to be wearing it until he’s 5 so he better get one he likes….
So then, continuing the “let’s make summer fun” lesson… we went to ABC’s (that’s Applebee’s for those of you who don’t speak toddlerese) and got takeout and went to the park. We had plans to meet some friends doing the cancer walk and do a few laps and then head home… because, well, Hot Stuff is working every and all hours and I am determined to make fun summer memories… right?
So I call Hot Stuff to tell him where we are on the off chance he gets done with work by 18:00 and wants to meet us…. He asks if I can see smoke. WTF? There are wildfires everywhere… yeah I can see smoke. There has been a smoke report fairly near our house.
End of fun.
We head to the house to get the dog and see if we need to leave. I’m not gonna lie… there was a little adrenaline pumping.
Turns out it was a false alarm. There could be a fire 500 yards from my house and I bet I wouldn’t be able to tell… it’s that smoky everywhere.
And I just noticed I reported the time military-style…. That’s how consuming fire season is at our house.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Turf Tires
This is a tutorial in what happens when you try to "mow a path to the creek" with turf tires.... the bush whacker says "yes" but the tires say "no" and you just about drop your son-in-law's tractor off a ravine into the creek bed. The pictures don't really do justice to the drop off....
Uh-oh.
Let me just put on my thinking cap for a second....
Uh-oh.
Let me just put on my thinking cap for a second....
Go ahead, take a bow....
Yes, that's my brother UNDER the pickup..... Dad is supervising....
Ok, now drag it out....
Moo
I'm now pumping "for comfort" at work... and I can't wait to be done. Of all the parenthood things... pumping is my least favorite. Even a dirty diaper can be funny, but pumping? No redeeming qualities.
So why do I feel so guilty?
So why do I feel so guilty?
Let’s talk about character licensing for a moment.
Up front I will admit to being a hypocrite. I’m ok with super heroes… spidey and batman are on my son’s underpants. He has (granted, they are hand-me-down) spiderman shirts. I think he even has an Incredibles t-shirt. And we are fairly inundated with Winnie the Poo… although I try to cull most of it to the give-away box… but I’m still in love some of that classic poo baby stuff…. Sorry, but you can’t go dissin’ AA Milne just because some crook is pimping him.
So before I go further, in the interest of full disclosure, I will take an inventory…. We have a few hand-me-down Sesame Street toys and a Diego DVD and some Bob the Builder stuff. Several pieces of the “Cars” collection and some spiderman junk. We have a “my first book of princesses” Disney board book that I am forced to pull out and display prominently whenever the, ehem, gift giver is in town. We have a wooden Thomas set, DVD & Big Loader. And we have I-don’t-know-how-many McDonald’s toys that are licensed character themes…. “Engine” turtles, Flushed Away & something with penguins come to mind immediately.
Here’s a crazy thought… what if we got rid of all the plastic, battery-operated toys and only had classic, wooden toys? I’ve heard of people who do this. Oh wait, we tried that…. Remember the Thomas lead-paint recall? Yup, I had a “classics only” mommy moment and insisted if Nana was getting him Thomas for Christmas I wanted the wooden set….4 of the 6 pieces we have got mailed away… sigh.
So I was patting my self on the back… we have very little Sesame Street, no Sponge Bob, a Dora hand-me-down potty seat (yes, hand-me-down potty seat....), Diego on DVD only…. And then I see THIS….
Oh LORD, I forgot about the Elmo Guitar. Somebody hand-me-downed this to us…. Oh what a dreadful toy…. And now I have to feel guilty about whoever bought it from the thrift store. (Further reading leads me to believe it is ok because it was made before May 2007… whatever… I’m still responsible for destroying the sanity of some poor parent by exposing them to the horror that is Elmo-on-reverb guitar.)
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Can you see the baby?
Look closely....There's a baby in this photo.... Yes, she's wearing camo.... with ruffles.... doing a commando crawl.... I think she's stalking an elk. I'm not sure how I got my brother's knee in the photo.... I know it's my brother because who else wears Wranglers in 103 degree heat?
Movie Review
I haven’t done a movie review in quite a while because, well, we haven’t watched many movies this summer. Duh. We did watch several episodes of Deadwood Season Three…. I love that show…. It definitely should win an award for most creative use of the word cunt.
Ghost Rider. Sam Elliott. Need I say more? Ok, how about Nicholas Cage with his head on fire? Silly, silly movie but for some reason I enjoyed it.
Premonition. I love Sandy. But this movie? Sucked. I didn’t like the ending… either one of them… and, well, the concept was weak. I won’t say more or I will spoil it.
300. LOVED IT. Yes, it’s gory…. And if you know anything about history you know how it is going to end. But I can’t get enough of this style of cinematography….. the computerized effects, the shading, the freaks and rhinos…. And there are boobies…. way more man boobies than woman boobies. And, once I got over being mad they used Hot Stuff’s body as a model AGAIN without royalties, well… I thoroughly enjoyed the man boobies. And abs. Did I mention the abs? And the king… he is rocking the best beard I’ve seen in a long time. So go rent it. Heck, consider BUYING it.
Why are you still here? GO.
Ghost Rider. Sam Elliott. Need I say more? Ok, how about Nicholas Cage with his head on fire? Silly, silly movie but for some reason I enjoyed it.
Premonition. I love Sandy. But this movie? Sucked. I didn’t like the ending… either one of them… and, well, the concept was weak. I won’t say more or I will spoil it.
300. LOVED IT. Yes, it’s gory…. And if you know anything about history you know how it is going to end. But I can’t get enough of this style of cinematography….. the computerized effects, the shading, the freaks and rhinos…. And there are boobies…. way more man boobies than woman boobies. And, once I got over being mad they used Hot Stuff’s body as a model AGAIN without royalties, well… I thoroughly enjoyed the man boobies. And abs. Did I mention the abs? And the king… he is rocking the best beard I’ve seen in a long time. So go rent it. Heck, consider BUYING it.
Why are you still here? GO.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
If you've sent me an email in the last, oh, two months or so.... my apologies.
We are waiting for a phone call.
Perpetually. In perpetuity. Continually. Continuously. Constantly. And always.
Hot Stuff is on call 24/7 and I can't tie up the phone line longer than about 10 minutes without making him twitch.... so I haven't checked my email (I'd rather throw up posts here... and, if you've read many of them... you know "throw up" is a good term.... ew.)
SO until I win the lottery and can get satellite internet service... this is all you get.
We are waiting for a phone call.
Perpetually. In perpetuity. Continually. Continuously. Constantly. And always.
Hot Stuff is on call 24/7 and I can't tie up the phone line longer than about 10 minutes without making him twitch.... so I haven't checked my email (I'd rather throw up posts here... and, if you've read many of them... you know "throw up" is a good term.... ew.)
SO until I win the lottery and can get satellite internet service... this is all you get.
Fire Sex
Or, more appropriately titled… Married Fire Sex
I’m sure you are all thinking… well, now the baby is in her own room and I bet there is some trapeze-swinging wild sex going on at The Homestead. And I hate to burst your bubble but… not.
Firefighters are among the sexiest men (and women) in the world. There is nothing hotter than a smoky guy in fire pants. I’m so in love with the smoky-sweaty thing…. Mmmm…. Just like BBQ potato chips.
The problem? Along with the smokey-sexy comes the exhausted. Totally, bone-weary, hiked up a hill in 103 degree heat and battled a Really Hot Thing exhausted.
Usually Hot Stuff gets home around 10 and we watch the first part of the news together… then I go upstairs and read while he watches the weather. We do like most married couples… snuggle a few minutes, fight over the covers and fall asleep.
But last night I was reading Harry Potter and eating oreos in bed and planning to stay up to see if Harry can find the third Horacrux. Hot Stuff snuggled in beside me and then started giving me the, ehem, Extra Snuggles.
In my mind, like any reasonable married woman, I think, “Damn, I wish I hadn’t eaten oreos & milk after I brushed my teeth. Oreo breath… and what if the milk gives me gas? Are the kids asleep? Should I turn off the baby monitor? Oh, wait… she can’t hear us… we can hear her…. I should have shaved my legs… wait, we’ve been swimming a lot…. I DID shave my legs! Hurray! I wonder if he noticed. Shit, I think the sprinklers are still on…. Can I go outside naked after sex and turn the sprinklers off? I love my new haircut. I think I feel a little sexier since I’ve been walking…. Hey, wait a minute…. I feel A LOT SEXIER since I’ve been walking… or wait… maybe that’s because… I… uh…. There….. that…. Yes….”
Ok, I’ll stop now because I know my brother is reading… (Hi Bro!)
And then, of course, there is the married-haven’t-seen-each-other-much-lately-post-sex conversation….
Where are my pants? Did you shut the sprinklers off? Did I tell you I couldn’t figure out how the dog got out of the pen? What? I didn’t even tell you the dog got out of the pen? Yeah, that’s why he’s been in the house…. Well, that and the heat. I got you some nectarines for your lunch. Oh, by the way….
I love you and you are amazing.
(Honey…. I do love you and you are always worth the wait! Let’s Extra Snuggles again soon, ok?)
I’m sure you are all thinking… well, now the baby is in her own room and I bet there is some trapeze-swinging wild sex going on at The Homestead. And I hate to burst your bubble but… not.
Firefighters are among the sexiest men (and women) in the world. There is nothing hotter than a smoky guy in fire pants. I’m so in love with the smoky-sweaty thing…. Mmmm…. Just like BBQ potato chips.
The problem? Along with the smokey-sexy comes the exhausted. Totally, bone-weary, hiked up a hill in 103 degree heat and battled a Really Hot Thing exhausted.
Usually Hot Stuff gets home around 10 and we watch the first part of the news together… then I go upstairs and read while he watches the weather. We do like most married couples… snuggle a few minutes, fight over the covers and fall asleep.
But last night I was reading Harry Potter and eating oreos in bed and planning to stay up to see if Harry can find the third Horacrux. Hot Stuff snuggled in beside me and then started giving me the, ehem, Extra Snuggles.
In my mind, like any reasonable married woman, I think, “Damn, I wish I hadn’t eaten oreos & milk after I brushed my teeth. Oreo breath… and what if the milk gives me gas? Are the kids asleep? Should I turn off the baby monitor? Oh, wait… she can’t hear us… we can hear her…. I should have shaved my legs… wait, we’ve been swimming a lot…. I DID shave my legs! Hurray! I wonder if he noticed. Shit, I think the sprinklers are still on…. Can I go outside naked after sex and turn the sprinklers off? I love my new haircut. I think I feel a little sexier since I’ve been walking…. Hey, wait a minute…. I feel A LOT SEXIER since I’ve been walking… or wait… maybe that’s because… I… uh…. There….. that…. Yes….”
Ok, I’ll stop now because I know my brother is reading… (Hi Bro!)
And then, of course, there is the married-haven’t-seen-each-other-much-lately-post-sex conversation….
Where are my pants? Did you shut the sprinklers off? Did I tell you I couldn’t figure out how the dog got out of the pen? What? I didn’t even tell you the dog got out of the pen? Yeah, that’s why he’s been in the house…. Well, that and the heat. I got you some nectarines for your lunch. Oh, by the way….
I love you and you are amazing.
(Honey…. I do love you and you are always worth the wait! Let’s Extra Snuggles again soon, ok?)
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